cheap wedding inspiration

{Real Wedding} Brooke and Landon’s Love-filled Jazzy Pink & Zebra Fete!

Hey, Broke-Asses! Christen, your new Real Wedding homie, here. I originally thought I would intro myself with my wedding, but then I saw Brooke and Landon’s pink-and-zebra country club fete oozing with tradition and sentiment, and I couldn’t resist moving them up in the queue. Brooke and her family are dear friends of Dana’s – so we’re extra thrilled to share their special day with you! These two managed to squeeze a 300-person wedding into a budget of ~$23K and its oozing with style! And feel free to get slapped in the face with the incredible amount of luuurrve you’ll get from them.

Name: Brooke

Occupation: Assistant Manager at The Buckle

Wedding location: Salina, Kansas

Wedding Date: June 3, 2011

Budget: $23,597.75

How would you describe your wedding?

Our wedding was PERFECT, at least we think so. Our day started off with me waking up at my parents’ place with my mother and father by my side in the morning with big smiles on their faces. Landon woke up at his family’s place and made sure everything was taken care of at the reception. Landon and I didn’t want to see each other at all before the wedding at 7:00 in the evening. We wanted to be traditional and not ruin the moment that I had dreamed of since I was a little girl.

Our wedding theme was different at both of our sites. At the church it was filled with cherry blossoms, white, pink and just a touch of zebra. The cherry blossoms were used in our family because Landon is part Japanese. His grandmother is actually from Japan and is such a beautiful woman both inside and out.

When you arrived at the reception site you walked in to feather-filled centerpieces, with hot pink and zebra in your face.

Our church was not a traditional church. It is actually a church converted into a blues recording studio. We wanted a church with a lot of character, and we got exactly what we asked for. The walls are covered with signed autographs of famous blues players and posters of past concerts that were held at this old church.

Our reception site was at our country club. This isn’t the fanciest place in the world but it held a tradition for me. About 37 years earlier my parents had their reception at that same country club and I wanted to dance in the same spot they had danced 37 years earlier. We had a jazz band that played when people arrived at 8 until all the people were gone.

When we arrived at the reception we went straight into our couple’s first dance, toasts, slideshow and then the cutting of the cake. We allowed people to eat before we got there so they wouldn’t be waiting on us, because we find it extremely annoying when you are starving and you have to wait on the bride and groom to get there after taking photos for 3 hours so that they can eat first. We then got to eat (a little) and then go around and see all of our friends and family. Then we got to do our father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, group dance, bouquet toss (that included lottery tickets, money and gift cards that both men and women were able to participate in). Then we danced the night away!

I did wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. My old was my grandmothers gold ring that my mother wore in her wedding. Something new was my Maggie Sottero wedding dress. Something borrowed was my mother’s diamond earrings, and something blue was my garter.

What was your favorite part of your wedding?
Not to be cliché, but when I saw Landon at the altar waiting for me to walk down the aisle. My hairdresser bet me that morning that he would be blubbering. I thought “No way!” As I waited nervously, hiding at the back of the church thoughts ran through my head of what he would look like, that I should try not to cry, and not to trip as I walked down the aisle. I looked at my Dad and he gave me a grin and our song started to play. I felt like I needed to pee, puke, all of the above. My father took me by the arm and started to go.

I noticed everyone standing up and all I wanted to see was my family and Landon. I turned the corner down the center aisle and saw his face. I will never forget his face as long as I live. He had the biggest grin but he was struggling trying to fight back tears.

Then, I lost it. All of my scared nervous energy went straight to a smile with tears rolling down my face of joy, that I had finally found my soulmate and today was our day. People keep telling us that when we walked down the aisle you could feel the love between us.

What did you splurge on?
We definitely splurged on our photographers, We Are The Parsons, because we wanted to be able to relive each moment of our wedding for as long as we live. Landon’s father passed away several years ago and we realized how important pictures are because they can capture a memory of a time and a place that we can go back to. We found these photographers online and knew that they were the ones. They fly all around the world to photograph weddings and we were lucky enough to have them in Salina, Kansas, for our wedding day. I hope to continue to have the Parsons take pictures as our family grows for years to come.

What did you save on?
Instead of a sit down full on steak dinner, we decided to do hors d’oeuvres and Shirley Temples. Even though it was still a lot of money it could have been a lot worse with all the people we had. We served mini grilled cheeses with tomato soup shooters, twice-baked potatoes, fajita bar, and a chocolate fountain with fruit, cheesecake, etc. We did not have any alcohol at our wedding because both of us and our families are not very big drinkers in the first place.

Was there anything you would have done differently, in retrospect?
I loved having our wedding reception at the country club, but unfortunately at the same time I had to have about four different meetings with the head people of the club to make sure that everything was ready and good. They seemed to be very unorganized and often forgot the wedding menu and timeline of that night. On our wedding day, our menu had changed a little without notice and our projector we needed for our slideshow was in a different location that day and it was our job then to find another one that morning. Luckily, Landon and my father were to the rescue. I would just make sure that for all your venues you hire someone who will keep in contact with you and who is very organized. This will save a lot of headaches.

What was your biggest challenge in planning?
Trying not to go over our budget! We planned to stay around the $20,000-25,000 range, which we did!!! YAY! But it was hard because we knew a large chunk of money was going to the photographers and toward my dress. Luckily, I had one of the best wedding planners ever and she made it happen.

What lessons did you learn from planning or from the wedding itself?
It’s really really nice to have a timeline and make sure you stay on top of it. in one of my first meetings with my wedding planner, we went over what had to be done every month so I knew what to expect. I was soooo excited about planning my wedding that we were way ahead of schedule on most of everything which was soooo nice. I know several of my friends who got married that same summer didn’t have a set timeline, and it was very challenging for them about 2 months out from the wedding since they had so much to do.

What were your top 5 favorite things about your wedding?

1. Having the most amazing wedding planner, Laura Besher.

2. Our photographers and our photos that we now have forever and ever.

3. Our beautiful four-tiered cherry blossom cake.

4.  My dress.

5.  The Bill McMosley Jazz Band.

Top 5 least favorite?

1. How hot the church was with over 300 people in it and the A/C was on full blast.

2. Not being able to breathe before walking down the aisle.

3. People walking in last minute right before you walk down the aisle.

4. Landon’s father and my grandfather were unable to be there physically. (But they were there spiritually.)

5. Having to decide who to cut from your close friends on the invitation list so that you don’t max out.

What was the best wedding advice you received?
We had been given this advice from several people, “Enjoy and cherish every moment you have at your wedding, because it will fly by.” This was especially true for us because we didn’t have our wedding until 7 in the evening. This was honestly the best advice because we can remember and enjoy almost every moment from our wedding because we took the time to enjoy it and not worry about the little things.

Any other bits of wisdom?
Be yourself and have a blast!! Just remember that this is your special day with the person you are going to be with the rest of your life. It’s kind of awesome.

Budget breakdown?

Cake: $872.57

Cherry Blossoms for Cake: $50.00

Unity Candle/Decorations: $80.00

Guest Book: $25.00

Hair and Makeup (6 people): $500.00

Shoes: $100.00

Wedding Gown: $1,700.00

Pastor Fee: $150.00

Pianist: $200.00

Programs: $200.00

Centerpieces/stands: $156.00

Jazz Band: $800.00

Flowers: $1,364.10

Invitations: $400.00

Envelopes: $95.00

Postage: $122.0080

Return Postage: $88.00

Photography: $4,900.00

Shirley Temples: $584.28

Decorations for Reception: $1,900.00

Food for 300 people: $5,842.80

Lunch for Bridal Party: $150.00

Vendors:

Wedding Planner: Laura Besher, Every Little Detail

Ceremony Site:Blue Heaven Studios

Reception Site & Catering: Salina Country Club

Wedding Dress Shop: Reni’s Bridal Boutique, Wichita, Kan.

Flowers:Designs

Photographers: We Are The Parsons

Hair Dresser: Terri Hajny at Hair Connection in Salina, Kan.

Cheers, Brooke and Landon! Looks like a rockin’ good time. xoxo!

The Broke-Ass Bride is always looking for rad-tastic Broke-Ass weddings to feature. Interested? You can submit via Two Bright Lights or by emailing us directly!

{Q&A} Spaces n’ Snacks

If there’s one detractor to being On The Internet, it’s that we’re a little unable to get together in a giant coffee shop and chat to one another in real-time. Over coffee. And cake.

To some degree, that’s what Twitter is for, I suppose. (Although, between you, me and the wall, the web developer at work told me earlier this week he hates Twitter because it’s like shouting into the void. I almost asked him 1. “… Your friends don’t answer you?” and then, 2. “You’ve never yelled Echo! just to hear the universe echo back?”)

My point is that Twitter is great for call-and-response style Q&A sessions, at least in my experience with it. But. That doesn’t translate very well to questions that have been posed in Comments. And since ignoring people is just plain rude, I’ll do Q&As going forward at the beginning of posts. So, if y’all have questions– hit me with them. I will do my best to make available to you all the knowledge I possess that could be useful (and, let’s be honest, some that isn’t).

All advice given is 100% Quality Assured by Moose.

(…it should be noted that Moose spends most of his days cruising for things to destroy and licking himself, though. Take it for what it’s worth.)

Question #1 today was How do I find an LA venue that won’t make me go broke? Let me tell you something… If I had my way, we’d have gotten married in someone’s backyard. I didn’t even need to know the person– any yard would have done. The cost of venues is just… I think about it, and my brain doubles over and crams its fingers into its ears and winces its eyes shut and starts hollerin’ “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Which is why I make the following recommendation: Find a friend with a big heart and a kick-ass house. Ask friends if they know any loft/art/warehouse spaces that could be gussied up nice. Ask your boss, your coworkers, your dog groomer, your barista and the girl who sets you up with your Girl Scout Cookie fix. Ask EVERYONE if they know a unique, non-commercial place that could be cool for your wedding. Keep these things in mind: 1. If you have a specific look and feel, you either need to communicate it up front or kiss it goodbye (and recall, beggers are not often afforded the luxury of being choosers) and 2. Whoever lets you use their space should be politely extended an invitation to the reception (that they will likely not accept unless they know you intimately), and should be graciously told that their generous hospitality is gift enough.

Or– and this is what we did– keep your standards and your Picky-Patty levels where they are and shop around until you find a spot that is just so worth the money. Because it’s going to cost if you end up paying for a venue, no matter where you get married. Get the most bang for your buck and really find a place that screams First night of Happily Ever After to you.

The second question I’ve seen more than once– and this one is the doozy– is that of minimizing food costs. Nobody wants a crap meal served at their wedding, because if we’re all speaking frankly, the food is the element of the reception that guests interact with the most directly (right up there with the tunes the DJ plays, and the bartender). Nobody wants it to be evident that their wedding came together on a shoe-string, and food is the source of much anxiety for a lot of brides. Hear me now: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Food is the collective bane of the bride’s existence. Right up there with Mothers-in-Law and That Lingering 5lbs.

My first recommendation is to find a venue that offers food as part of the package. Then haggle. Barter. Ask about making concessions on some parts to cut costs. I wrote a post awhile back on what language works best when making requests like that. I stand by it still. There is certainly a diplomatic and ladylike way to come to a mutually comfortable package with your vendors. It’s all in the language.

Some of you are probably curious as to why I’m not telling you to cut your guest list. Robin did a very eloquent post on that very topic, which you can find here and that I highly recommend. But. In a nutshell: my guest list was 170 long, 120 attended and there was not a damn thing I could do about making it smaller. It was just a fact. We had 120 people with whom we decided we could not and would not get married without. Cutting the budget by cutting the head count was simply out of the question. So I sympathize with the bride who looks at her husband’s giant family and her shrinking bank balance and thinks, “Either the guests go hungry, or we don’t eat for the first three months of being newlyweds… Awesome.”

I haggled with our venue, asking for a package that the venue was nice enough to honor for us (even when they didn’t have to). Most venues will ask you to guarantee a minimum headcount for a lower rate. Most brides in these shoes will have no problem meeting that requirement.

Obligatory Love-fest: once again, I must sing the praises of the Sans Souci of Sea Cliff. Two huge thumbs up and a sloppy kiss on the mouth–they were amazing.

However. If your venue doesn’t have food and you’re at square one, there are a couple options for you.

1. Find a friend/family member/neighbor/cousin/uncle/friend-of-a-friend who loves to cook and ask if they’d be willing to “cater” your big day. Keep in mind that if you’re asking someone who does this professionally, they’re likely going to be more comfortable with a discounted rate as opposed to pro-bono work. Consider the cost of the food alone, to start. Separately, if it’s a close friend of yours, they may insist on doing it for free, in which case you should insist right back that they “gift” it to you, instead of spending money on an additional present, in addition. Also keep in mind that executing a meal for 20+ people is no small feat. You’re going to have to get creative with the menu, taking into consideration what sort of on-site capabilities your venue will have for food-prep.

2. Use local vendors. Whether you’re DIY-ing the food or hiring a caterer, a common-denominator in savings is keeping the suppliers local.

I can hear you, ladies, rolling your eyes and heaving heavy sighs at me. Who wants to cook on their wedding day?! Ugh!! Worst advice EVER! For some women, yes, absolutely. I acknowledge that telling you to cook your own wedding food is sort of like telling you to eat broken glass that’s been glazed in acid and deep-fried. If you are a woman like that… you’re one of the ones who’ll want to find a friend or a caterer and beg, plead and cry until The Universe hears your culinary woes and has mercy on you. Something will pan out for you. Something always does.

For the rest of the women– the women like me, who tend to solve by doing-it-yourself despite all logic and precedence and every single one of your friends advising you against it… Hello, there. You’re in decent company. If Sans Souci hadn’t had a caterer, I would have very easily said, “No big deal. I’ll cook it myself.” I would have made things I could prep in advance (lasagna, cold salads, cheese-and-fruit platters, etc.) and somehow masterminded a way to get it heated and transported. Needless to say it wouldn’t have been a white-glove-server affair, but neither of my families are too high-and-mighty to help themselves buffet-style, and less goes to waste if people can control their own portions.

My point is that it’s not impossible, and you can get great deals on fresh produce if you shop local. I recommend local farmers markets or CSA’s, if you’re planning to do this a little further in advance.

Another key to success is keeping your expectations realistic. If you’re looking to orchestrate a meal by yourself, keep it simple and fool-proof. It is not realistic to expect yourself to put together a five-course formal meal on the day of your wedding. It is fair to plan a laid-back, low-key barbecue picnic wherein you let the groomsmen grill while you and the bridesmaids sip cocktails and watch your loved ones graze a sampling of delicious coleslaws, macaroni and potato salads.

If you’re in doubt, find your most honest friend. Tell her your plans, take her by the shoulders, look her in the eyes and ask, “Are my expectations realistic?” If she nods soberly and promises to be by your side every step of the way, you’re good to go, full speed ahead. If, however, she bursts out laughing and asks you if you’ll be pulling this off before or after you singlehandedly come up with a way to defy gravity… Well, maybe it’s time to hit the drawing boards again.

Either way, you’re not alone. Keep asking questions in the comments. If you see something that’s almost-helpful, ask for more. If you think something is completely off and you’ve got a better solution, speak up! The idea here is that we’re all women who are doing our best, and we’re all here to act as a pool of resources for one another. That’s what communities do.

Take to Twitter. Holler into the void. See what echoes back. And if you see another bride asking for help– reach out. If you don’t have an answer, give her a Re-tweet. It sounds little, but if we all keep tossing pebbles into the pond for one another, the longterm effects are waves. And there’s no limit to how far a wave can travel if it keeps getting propelled in the right direction.

The common denominator is the same. We’re all in this together.

-MMV.

Disney Wedding’s Twentieth Anniversary and a Real Re-Wedding!

Whenever I had heard of Disney Weddings. I always imagined it was a wedding in which someone was attempting to chase the childish thrills of their youth. Surely a Disney Wedding was only for someone who still loved the idea of Mickey Mouse greeting guests at the chapel. Boy Was I Wrong! We had the honor of being invited to Disney Weddings 20th Anniversary and while there we had all of our preconceptions dashed.  Disney is not about re-creating magical memories of your youth, its about making new ones. No matter your age, no matter your desires, Disney has the rare ability to to make that dream come true.

Before heading into the wedding pavilion we were met by tables and tables of colorful candy. It was buffet of beautiful cavity conjurers.

Comment if you find me in this pic. (Hint: I can’t see you)

We enjoyed a glass of champagne as we made a whole bunch of new friends! The ladies rocked bridal ears as I was pimping the mousy but manly top hat. I have to say that Mickey’s got style.

The Disney flare really started to show when we were greeted by our “hosts” of the evening. Two  bundles of energy burst out of the crowd and started hollering about how happy they were that Dana and I had arrived. I am great with faces but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how I knew these two. But they seemed so affable, entertaining and warm AND they knew my name. I later realized they were a couple of the hundreds of performers you can have be a part of your Disney Wedding. Today we were treated to Franck from Father of the Bride, and Sona from the Incredibles.  But how did they know my name?!

These two were so smooth, I didn’t realize they were reading my name tag. (DOH!)

We then headed into the wedding pavilion and were greeted by our real host Disney Wedding’s Development Director Korri McFann. She told us a little about Disney’s newest weddings and honeymoons location in Hawaii. In the immortal words of Liz Lemon, “I want to go to there!”

We all drooled a bit and then she introduced us to a former couple who had the pleasure of being married at Disney World one year ago. And… wait for it… Were having a surprise wedding vow renewal AND WE WE’RE THE GUESTS! Dang, it was like an Oprah moment up in there.

While the re-bride-to-be was getting ready we were introduced to one of the newest dresses in the Disney Dress collection from Alfred Angelo.

Yowsers! Did they bring in an actual princess?

And get ready for another Oprah moment cause here comes Disney’s Celebrity Expert (and tv reality star) DAVID TUTERA! David has designed several wedding themes and styles that couples can choose from, or be inspired by, when planning their Disney Wedding. But enough talk, lets get this re-wedding on the road…

Everyone knows the best way to start a wedding is with the wedding party and… wait wha…. are those… PROFESSIONAL DANCERS dancing down the aisle! Wow, that’s a cool idea. And they were just warming up the crowd because they raced back up the aisle to reveal…

Our blushing bride! There was a sense of fun in the room the entire time and boy could you see it on our bride’s face when she appeared.

She met her groom under the grand arch of the pavilion with the famous Disney Castle in the background. They exchanged vows and the crowd cheered. And to turn it up a notch…

They exited to daytime fireworks! My mom always said when it was sunny but raining, it’s “a monkeys wedding”. So when it’s sunny and there are fireworks you know it’s a Disney Wedding.
Our couple left the pavilion and was greated by their magical Cinderella chariot.

A Cinderella carriage pulled by tiny horses!

And they were off! A magical chariot surely must take them somewhere amazing…

Italy?!?! Well almost, we were whisked away to the world of Epcot. Little did I know the celebration had just begun.

With a lakeside dinner we had a view of the entire world. If felt as if we were in the heart of Venice but with Mexico, Germany and Epcot Center on the horizon. The party was in full swing and with all this world travel the two of us were thirsty…

I really did not think it could get more, awe inspiring, romantic and just plain fun. But Disney had one more trick up their sleeve. A front row seat to one of the most amazing firework displays I have ever seen!

Our amazing friends at Disney Weddings enjoy their job almost as much as we enjoy being their guests.

You might say, “Hunter, that looks awesome but there is no way that that kind of luxury can be Broke-Ass.” Well, Disney Weddings start at $10,000. Since the national average is way over twice that, your dreams becoming a reality suddenly became a little more realistic.

Thanks again to the entire Disney Weddings cast! The enthusiasm, kindness and hospitality you showed us was contagious to everyone we met and everything we did. We can’t wait to come back!

Full-Service Big Wedding on a Broke-Ass Budget

Over the weekend I had the yo-ho, yo-ho pleasure of attending a wedding in Vegas on a pirate ship.  Yes, you read correctly.  The couple said their I Do’s on the Pirate Ship at Treasure Island, in front of the entire Vegas Strip, and it was truly arrrresome.

I asked the bride a couple weeks ago if she would be needing any help setting up, breaking down etc., but she said, “Actually, everything is pretty much taken care of by the hotel. I basically just have to show up.”  As a bride who just went through stress after stress with the planning, set-up and design of our wedding, I was supremely jealous of this fact.  I mean, my husband was still at our venue hanging beer bottle chandeliers just hours before our ceremony started, so the freedom to just show up to one’s own wedding without worry sounds almost mythical to me… also because I have been constantly surrounded by couples whose wedding budgets don’t allow for such luxury.  So I thought to myself, how much did they end up paying “extra” for this awesome freedom?

You can have a full-service wedding at this hotel, with a 100 person guest list, on this pirate ship (or 3 other location choices) for under $10K.

I cheated and looked it up online… and surprisingly a full-service Vegas wedding for 100 people at a 4 star hotel on a Saturday would cost you around $10k.  Not bad, eh?  My eyes lit up too, when I saw that number.  We talk so much about the difficulty involved in successfully pulling off a big wedding with all the trimmings for under 10K, so needless to say I was happily surprised to see it is entirely possible, and in a big city like Las Vegas to boot!  So let’s break this full-service Treasure Island, 10K Budget wedding down, shall we?

The “Enchantment on the Song Ship” Ceremony Package

For $3,360, you get the following:

• Wedding Ceremony
• Minister to officiate your event
• Wedding coordinating services
• Private bridal dressing room 30 minutes prior to ceremony
• Invited guest check-in when staying in the resort
• Exquisite bridal bouquet and groom’s boutonniere
• Elegant floral décor for The Song Ship
• Prestige Photography Package
• Personalized wedding music (CD audio selection)
• Commemorative TI wedding certificate holder
• Premium champagne and flutes
• Newlywed gourmet treats
• Limousine service to the courthouse for TI hotel guests
• Two (2) luxurious spa robes
• Bridal Hair/Up do
• Bridal Makeup
• O Spa Signature Couples Massage

This sign rested on the deck leading us to the pirate ship wedding…

The actual pirate ship where they said their vows!

They were married by a sea captain, and the best man was dressed in full pirate gear!

Marrrrried!

Reception packages are sold separately from the ceremony package.  But no matter what type of reception package you end up choosing, every package includes the following:

• Private
 Reception
 Room
• Hotel
 Table
 Linens
 and 
Napkins
 (White,
 Ivory,
 Black,
 Sand,
 Terra
Cotta)
• Head
  Table
• Cake
, Registry and
 Gift
 Tables
• Votive
 Candle
 Centerpiece
• Dance
 Floor
• Background
Music
 (House
Sounds)
• Custom
Lighting
Decor 
(Gobos)
• Staff
 to
 Cut
 and
 Serve
 Cake 
to 
guests

The couple did their first dance to “Sweet Caroline” (bah, bah BUUUH!) And everyone sang along, it was so fun.

Delicious cake/cupcake tower combo that came with the package.

As for food and beverage choices for your Vegas Wedding Reception at Treasure Island… you have many options to choose from, but I highlighted the choices that would keep the total (including ceremony) under $10K.

• 2-hour full open bar: $28/per person
• Appetizer buffet: $35/per person

Aside from not having to set-up, break-down, or clean-up your own wedding, the best part about tying the knot in Vegas is the built-in after party. We didn’t have to travel very far for a good time after the reception was over.  So if your guests are still down to dance after the wedding reception has ended, the night club is just steps away…

I had always thought that a full-service wedding like this, for 100 people, would cost at least $20K… so the fact that we could have had a full-service, no-worries wedding for a total of $10K ($2K less than what we paid for our wedding), makes me wonder why we put ourselves through all that stress.  But in the end, I know we had exactly the wedding we wanted, but the freedom of “just showing up” to your own wedding still remains to be a very tempting prospect… one I encourage others to consider… especially if it’s going to cost you about the same amount.

Have you guys found any other “full-service, small budget, big wedding” options out there… with everything included for under $10k?  If so, please share your wisdom with the Broke-Ass Brigade in the comments below!

The Plaza vs Pizza (or, budget wedding tips from the splurgiest hotel)

Dudes! Earlier in June we returned to my beloved hometown New York City, baby!  The moment we touchdown, I am always filled with waves of nostalgia and excitement. My first mission, without fail, is to get a bit of that primary food of my youth, New York Pizza. Whenever or wherever we go, I can sniff it out like a blood hound with a lust for lactose (OK, so that doesn’t sound very appealing). But this time pizza was going to have to wait… because the moment we landed, we were in for a much more high-end adventure.

We arrived in NYC a few days earlier than we had planned because of an invitation from The Plaza Hotel for a special bloggers’ luncheon. Yup, pizza was gonna have to take a rain check ’cause baby’s gotta enjoy the finer things in life for a moment (you know I love you NYC Pizza, I’ll be back in 24 hours, don’t you worry).

Broke-Asses in the City

To walk into The Plaza, at any time, is an exciting moment. It has been a staple of grandeur for my entire life and for a long part of the history of New York…. and this was Dana’s first experience. Walking past the the iconic horse-drawn carriages, up the steps, through the revolving door that opens to a grand hall where tea is being served…. It’s grandeur. It’s history. It’s New York romance, and has been for a long long time. So to come home with an invitation to the The Plaza was something very special indeed.

A wedding bloggers’ luncheon, hosted and catered by Great Performances, and featuring chef de cuisine Marc Spooner’s picks for the latest trends in wedding menus, under the vaulted ceiling of the Grand ballroom, was just the way to describe this return home… GRAND.

David Beahm Design presented a table scape of bad-assery

Floral kick-assery, compliments of Floralia Decorators

A Broke-Ass tip courtesy of (the great) David Beahm Design: mirrors make everything bigger and better.  A similar display to these can be broke-ass-ified with sparing, simple blooms or by letting bountiful candles speak for themselves. Reflective surfaces and sparkling light turn a simple display into one that is magical and bigger than life.

We also learned that alternating high and low centerpieces is an easy way to add drama and variety to your tables… (just make sure the tall ones go above people’s heads so they don’t block their view), and that a fun new trend is to mix round and rectangular tables to spice things up!

After learning about tablescapes, we were onto the grub, er… culinary trends (and boy did we eat this part up!)

The tray-passed hors d’oevres gave me a bit of a food boner (is that ok to say when writing about this place?). The Plaza gets all its produce from an organic farm that they own, which is better for your belly and the earth. We especially loved these crispy potato skins filled with sauteed mushrooms and fava beans. We were psyched to hear that more and more couples are requesting organic and sustainable produce from their caterers… go team green!

Chef Marc Spooner shared that other recent trends include tray-passed small bites and dessert options, which encourage guests to mingle and meander (with the added bonus of saving money over plated dinners). People love miniature bites of popular comfort foods like burgers. Once you pop, you can’t stop! Oh, and these wee frozen popsicles? Eff YES.

To finish off the event, we were lead down to the Rose Club where we all shared a glass of champagne. This is perfect spot for an afternoon drink or a late night after-party. There is an elevator right there in the bar, so you can bid adieu to your guests and stumble straight to your room. The only time I get to do that… is when I’m drunk in my kitchen. Can I get a what what?

The whole wedding blogger crew at the Rose Bar (aka: It's hard out there for a Hubby)

It was an incredible return home. I thought a slice of NY pizza was surely my next meal. Ah… but there was more adventure in store for the first day home. Stay tuned…

PS – Big ups to our girl Anne at Aisle Dash for helping organize such a great event!

Ceremony Stage Fright

I’m an odd chick.  For many, many reasons that I won’t get into… but there’s something about me that always surprises people when I tell them… so here it is: I have terrible social anxiety and stage fright, yet my favorite thing in the world is the feeling I get from (successfully) performing in front of a crowd of people.

I am horribly afraid of speaking in public, and cannot stand being put on the spot, and for the most part I loathe being the center of attention.  I get nervous just speaking in social situations, and expressing my opinion when asked, so you could imagine how scared I get when I have to make a speech, or act onstage in a sketch or a play, or sing in front of people. My heart beats out of my chest, and I get the nervous sweats and the oh-my-god I’m going to pee my pants and vomit at the same time feeling… yet I still do it because in the end, despite the initial fear… I would hate myself for ignoring something I was so passionate about. I love to entertain people, make them laugh and express my creativity through performance. But the lead-up to the performance is unbearably difficult for me.  It’s no secret that public speaking is the #1 fear of Americans… so I’m not alone there.  And ultimately that fact brings me comfort, but it doesn’t stop the anxiety. And it certainly doesn’t stop the physical effect the anxiety has on my body.

Tensed shoulders, tightly clasped hands: Wedding day nerves. Image: Jeff Speigner Photography

I’ve known since the day we got engaged that we would have a big wedding… and a big ceremony filled with personal details, and a script written by us, and we would for sure say personal vows.  I couldn’t imagine our ceremony any other way.  Yet the prospect of actually performing this kind of ceremony–one where I put myself and my emotions on display–scares the pants off me.  And this fact really started to sink in over this past weekend. We basically have 2.5 months left before I walk down the aisle in front 150 people, and express myself in the most deeply personal way possible. And holy balls… just the thought of that is giving me panic attacks already.  But there is no effing way I’m going to chicken out. I will regret it for the rest of our married lives if we don’t perform the intensely personal ceremony we have dreamed of doing for the 20 months we have been engaged.  Even if it means having to consume a xanax-horse tranquilizer-tequila-champagne cocktail to get me through, it WILL be done.

I’m sure everyone experiences some sort of nerves before walking down the aisle. But when you have terrible stage fright like I do, the nerves are 10 times more intense. And the thought of messing up, or shaking, or stumbling over my words, or awkward pauses, or something going wrong with the music makes me want to throw up and throw out all the bells ‘n whistles, and personalized what-have-you, and just say “I do.”  But I know myself. And I know my FH Mike.  And we are crowd pleasers. Nervous-as-hell crowd pleasers. But crowd pleasers all the same. And as a result, we’ve committed ourselves to having a personalized ceremony complete with us being the center of attention for at least 45 minutes (yowza). No matter how nervous that makes us, we are going to do it, and I know we will feel amazing that we were brave enough to do it in the end.  It’s the lead-up that’s going to give me an ulcer.  So that got me thinking… what can I do to help ease my nerves?

So for those of you who may be in my same boat–nervous as hell, but still want a let-it-all-hang-out kinda ceremony–here’s a few tips for ceremony stage-fright:

• Remember that everyone is the audience LOVES YOU. Like really, really loves you. And wants you to succeed. And wants to share in the joy of your union. So never lose sight of that.
• Don’t be ashamed to have a cocktail before you go on. Even just a little relaxer makes a huge difference. I don’t recommend getting loaded. But a drink or two won’t hurt.
• In fact… You know what I’m going to do to cut nerves? Honest-to-balls I am going to wear a garter flask and take a few pulls off it *right* before we go out.

There WILL be tequila in my garter flask. And I WILL be taking a few rips before I walk down the aisle. Photo by Piknik Studios

• Before you go on, surround yourself with people that make you calm.  Usually this task lies in the hands of your wedding party… but sometimes that’s not enough. If the only person that calms you down is the partner you are about to marry, then stay together until the last second you are supposed to go on. You don’t have to walk down the aisle hand in hand necessarily, but you can hold each other’s hand backstage until it’s time.
• OR… just go ahead and walk down the aisle WITH your partner. The person that calms me down the most isn’t my dad, or my mom. It’s my partner. Mike is the only one who knows how to successfully calm me down. Sorry, Mom & Dad. But if I’m too nervous to the point where I’m shaking, I’m going to need Mike there every step of the way–even if those steps include the ones we take to get down the aisle.
  

  A bride and groom who chose to walk down the aisle TOGETHER. Via Offbeat Bride

• Don’t get married on a stage. Instead, make the altar area as intimate as possible. There may be 150 pairs of eyes on you, but it won’t feel as intimidating if you create a space that feels like it’s just you, the one you love, and the person who’s marrying you.
  

  Our intimate ceremony setting at BOXeight Studios

The STAGE at BOXeight that we *could* have chosen to get married on. But we decided in the end, that we wanted a more intimate setting. So we went with the garden setting pictured above.

• Choose your officiant wisely. Someone who can run a show, and ease tension if shiz hits the fan. Someone you have a connection with. Someone who knows you and your partner as a couple. Someone you trust.
• Remember to breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Big deep breaths. Meditate if you have to. Just force yourself to concentrate on your breathing, and your nerves will at the very least be put slightly to ease.
• Don’t concentrate on trying NOT to cry during the ceremony. Just let it rip. This is a big moment in your life. And I can’t think of any big moment in my life where I didn’t shed some sort of tear.
• Pick songs leading up to your processional that calm you.  The song I always listen to that cools my nervous groove is “Dear Prudence” by The Beatles.  Something about that song just makes me breathe easy.  Choose the song that does that for you and listen to it on an iPod, or go ahead and play it for the audience before you come out.

Oh, and picturing everyone in the audience naked NEVER works. Sorry, Grandpa, but picturing you butt-ass naked on my wedding day would make me ralph faster than rabbits f*ck. Just sayin’.

For those about to wed… are you nervous for the ceremony? And have those nerves forced you to create a certain type of ceremony? For those who are wedded already… Were you nervous for the ceremony? What did you do to calm yourself?

The Wedding Day Timeline Tango

When is this going to get done?

So, my clients Ellen and Patrick (still really not their real names) are getting married in six weeks, which means that final payments, final guest counts, final meal selections, final, final lots of stuff are all due in the next two weeks. And right after all that, then it’s on to constructing the wedding day timeline. Which – don’t tell anybody – is one of my favorite parts of wedding planning. I’m a process person. My mom rolls her eyes and calls it a Virgo thing.

Yesterday, I met with John and Cindy (also not their real names) who want a day-of coordinator for their wedding in July. I told them that day-of coordination doesn’t start on your wedding day. In order to make sure that everything is in place and everyone is in the right place, you really do need to start out about three weeks in advance. Why? Good question. It shouldn’t come as surprise to any of you that getting a hold of your vendors can take time, and getting a hold of all them multiple times to cross-coordinate, is going to take even more time. Give yourself the three weeks.

John and Cindy are getting married in a church, and then having their reception at a hotel nearby. That’s two venues that need to be staged and then broken down. Your first call is ALWAYS to your venue(s), to find out how much set-up time you have before your wedding/reception. John and Cindy’s wedding starts at 3pm, but they can’t get into the church until noon.  Their reception starts at 5pm, and since there’s another event in the room earlier, they can’t get in there until 3pm. Problem.

The minimum amount of time you should have for set-up is 2-3 hours. But if you’re self-coordinating (and we’re just going to assume that you are) and you’re in a similar situation as John and Cindy’s, don’t panic. Your second question for your venue is to find out if it’s possible to store items there the night before your wedding, and if you can wait to pick things up the day after. Either will give you a little legroom time-wise. Confirm what specific times each has to happen. Your third question: Is there anything you need to alert your vendors to? Your venue(s) should know what issues come up regularly. Will there be enough electricity outlets for everyone?  Is your DJ going to need two speakers to cover the area? If you’re bringing in catering, is there a prep area for the food? How much manpower will be around to help your vendors, if necessary? Stuff like that. And have them walk you through the room layout again – Where will the DJ go? Where will the cake go? Gift table? Place card table? You get the point. Final question: Who should your vendors ask for when they arrive? Don’t assume it’s going to be the person you’ve been talking to all along. You can do all of this over the phone, of course, but if you can, have this conversation in person.

Beautiful, but time consuming.

Once you have all the information, you’re ready to talk to your vendors. All of your vendors. Don’t leave out the crew that’s doing your makeup, don’t leave out your photographer because you figure they’re just going to float along with you for the day, do not leave out the bakery. All of them. Confirm a general timeline if you’ve already established one with them. Tell them when your venue(s) will be available. Ask each of them if that will be enough time, and if not, what will they need in order to get the job done?  Then ask what else they will need when they arrive. They, too, will tell you what issues usually come up, that they can’t necessarily handle on their own, “Can you make sure…?”

Call your food folks first, then rentals, then your florist. These are the vendors that usually need the most time. At the end of each call, re-confirm what time they will be arriving. Then once you get through the first round of calls, you’re probably going to have to call back your venue(s) with any new questions or concerns that have come up. The Chivari chair company wants to pick up the next day, your videographer needs to charge his equipment, etc. Once again, re-confirm with the venue who is showing up when, and tell them that you will be emailing them a final timeline a week before the wedding.

Find out the need-to-knows in order to schedule your wedding events. How long will it take to serve your guests? Will your venue/caterer continue serving during toasts and dances? Ask your DJ how long the first dance, parents dances, garter tosses, etc., are going to take, so you can incorporate that into your timeline as well.

Think about the stuff you’re going to have to do yourself, or have friends and family do for you… the “little” things like arranging place cards, table numbers and favors.  These three things should take about 1 – 1.5 hours for two people to do, total, if you have 100 guests. Sounds long, but it takes a while to get a system down, things gets misplaced. Whatever details need doing, more people means less time to do them. Help your helpers out and alphabetize where you can.

Google Docs is great for keeping track. I used to email different versions around to everyone, but now I just put it online, save it as I build it, and then send an email inviting others to look at it, and comment or edit as needed. Google also has wedding specific templates, too (and they’re free) so use them. Put everything you can in your timeline. Put the link to the google doc for the timeline at the top of the page. Put the name and phone number of the main contact person, whether it’s you (hopefully not) or a friend or family member, right under it. Put the contact name and phone number of each vendor, including your venue(s) next to their arrival/open time.

Once you feel it’s all finalized, let all your vendors know and ask them to review it. Do not be surprised if one of them points out something that means you’re going to have to make more changes. I’m just warning you.

Print out and bring copies for everyone who is going to be at the rehearsal. At the end of the rehearsal, briefly go over it, so that everyone knows where they need to be and when, and how the day is going to flow. That way no one can say that they didn’t know what was going on. It’s a lot of paper, I know. Encourage everyone to recycle. 

Yes. Now you know why they pay me the big bucks. But you also now know how it works. Any questions?

See you at the end of the aisle,

{Wedding Music Radness Recap} part 2: the reception

(Hey you. Yes, you! Before you read this, go here and read all about our ceremony music so you’re up to speed. Aight? Cool.)

Its grand entrance time, yo! And we always knew we wanted Jump Around play as our reception entrance music. I mean come on. It’s only one of the most legendary party beats ever. But, the Bungalow Club had accidentally miscommunicated the DJ set-up situation and so The Flashdance wasn’t able to play during cocktail hour or dinner as we planned. And you know what? It didn’t even matter one bit! The Bungalow Club put on a great, eclectic music mix, Michael got to relax and enjoy the dinner and toasts… and we brought the hype ourselves!

It is my pleasure to introduce, Mr. and Mrs. Broke-Ass!

The first dance song was an elusive mistress.  It took us forevah to find the right jam for that moment, but when we did, awww yeah… Brace yourselves, my inner hippie is breaking out, and I’m about to get real with y’all. Bob Marley is my guardian angel. No, I swear, he is. (insert ganja joke here) But he is! There have been too many coincidental moments in which I’m experiencing some emotional distress, and like magic, Bob’s comforting voice finds its way to me. Whether by way of the radio, or mall muzak, in a film, or on my alarm clock… there Bob is: lifting my spirits with his messages of hope and empowerment. And Three Little Birds is one of our favorite all-time songs, so it was poi-fect! We moved upstairs to the dancefloor, and Michael took over the music. When our guests circled around us and all spontaneously sang along while we danced, it was like a moment out of a dream.
Bob Marley – “Three Little Birds”

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It was all somehow to intimate even though we were surrounded.

we didn't have any set dancemoves, but he made sure to spin me, which he knows I love.

I love how intimate this picture is.

Hunter must have said something really sweet, cuz I'm blushin!

We sang to each other too.

...and made up some silly and sweet new moves.

And ended with a glorious dip kiss, just like I always imagined!

I made the final call on our father/daughter dance song the day of the wedding, after hemming and hawing between two I adored for different reasons for months. I kept the song choice from my father so he’d be surprised and experience it all in the moment. My dance with my dad was absolutely and unforgettably magical, and now I can’t see a daddy-daughter dance without getting weepy and verklempt. This was a song my mom turned me onto, and it absolutely feels like my daddy and me.
Loudon Wainwright III – “My Daughter”

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I can barely look at these photos without getting misty

My daddy has the smiliest eyes

I periodically just clung to him while we danced, like a baby monkey.

This one kills me. My heart could burst looking at his expression.

Hunter had a challenge in choosing a tune for the mother-son dance tunes. His mother was a dancer and loved to move, so he wanted a song that would allow them to have fun on the dance floor together… so he chose Shall We Dance from The King & I, which he and his mom used to sing together all the time. Penelope and Hunter tore up the dance floor in a fast-paced and riveting waltz, that ended with her dramatically spinning out and gracefully collapsing in a dramatic curtsey before she handed him off to me. These are some of my favorite photos from the night!
**TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES with audio player**
You can listen to Shall we Dance, here

She was a speed machine - just look at that hair go!

You can see where Hunter gets his acting talent here!

... and Hunter gives a grand bow to her after the collapse!

Aaaaaaand, we didn’t even pick special songs for anything else!  Weaving our diverse and random tastes in tune-age into our big day made it feel like home, and helped usher our guests into just the right mood for the kind of party we had planned. And now, whenever we hear Three Little Birds or Melt with You, its never quite the same… in all the right ways.

Stay tuned for a future post sharing some of the jams that got away – songs we loved, but nixed for one reason or another.

What songs are you picking for your big moments?

all photos by Dan Chen of Chennergy

{Wedding Porn} Suthi + Sanjay: a feast of color & texture

When people who work in the industry get married, magic almost always ensues, so we’ve got an awesomesauce (and timely) real wedding feature today! It’s the stunning wedding of Suthi and Sanjay! Yep, the same Suthi of Suthi Picotte Photography who’s giving away a free wedding photography package with us (hurry, you can still enter!). For now though you can enjoy these gawjuss photos and take away some wedding inspiration too from this phenomenal green wedding!

We big puffy heart Suthi and her gorgeous wedding!  Through her lens at work, she has seen her fair share of gorgeous dresses, decor, and inspiration… so she was well versed in inspiration when it came time to envision very own ultra fabbie wedding. Suthi had a tremendous entourage of wedding visionaries including florals by Holly Flora, event planning by Angel Swanson of Love and Splendor, and photography by Amy and Stuart. Suthi & Sanjay tied the knot in Los Angeles, and because they are both in the arts (Sanjay is a film producer), naturally their wedding was overflowing with creativity!

Serious eye candy for the stylephile in us all!

Suthi looks like a goddess while getting laced into her stunning dress

The absolute best thing about the wedding was that Suthi and Sanjay incorporated loads of colors and textures into their day. Suthi wore a dress that looked good enough to eat with all of its decadent layers of pleats and ruffles. Yum! She looks like a porcelain doll getting all laced up! I swear, this dress is one of my favorites ever, and guess what yo? You can rent this exact style of St. Pucci at a fraction of the cost at A One Night Affair!

Love this St. Pucci gown? You can rent it for $800 at onenightaffair.com!

Her colorful and trendy bouquet took a mix of colors and consistency orange orchids, green succulents, pink peonies, and deep wine colored roses and were tied together with a bright aqua colored ribbon. Y’all know I love a girl who’s not afraid of some color!

Holly Flora made sure that Suthi's bouquet was bursting with colors. Gorgeous!

They laced in some insanely fly personal touches, such as a beautiful vignette in the entryway complete with exquisite sari fabric, feathers, florals, old family photos, letters and peacocks. A vignette is the perfect eye-catching way to greet your guests and introduce your theme and overall feel of the event… and if you use objects from around your home or from your family/friends, it doesn’t even have to cost a dime!

I totes want my living room to feel like this!

A close up of the vignette reveals old family photos, letters, and personal items to make the display a beautiful expression of Suthi and Sanjay's history and family lineage.

The ceremony and reception was held at the ever-hip Marvimon House – a convertible indoor/outdoor space. The ceremony was outdoors, with a gorgeous swag backdrop accented with Margiold garlands, weaving Indian tradition into their design.

Don't you adore their style? To die for!

But holy Holly Flora, how much do you love love love the tablescape?! The long and rustic wooden tables featured a bounty of myriad colors including using orange, pink, blue, and purple napkins to identify the tables (using color rather than table numbers or something similar) and an earthy moss table runner. Look familiar? That’s because this very wedding inspired our own wedding tablescapes! Moss is a surprisingly inexpensive and sustainable decor option that adds tons of bang for its buck!

All the vases and votives are from Holly Flora's exquisite collection of eclectic vintage glassware.

Take a moment to enjoy the whimsical florals, colors and textures. Now tilt your head to the side so you prevent drooling on your keyboard.

The varied heights of the vases and the differences in florals and tea lights create a visually drool worthy display. I love that not everything is so matchy-matchy. You can scour flea markets and estate sales you can create an eclectic and visually interesting display, even on a budget! Using bud vases and small vintage glassware for vases requires less floral expense as well because you only need one or two buds per vessel.  Just combine various sizes, colors, and textures and you’ll create a truly beautiful and unique space that will be one of a kind without breaking the bank while being more eco-friendly. Plus after the wedding you’ll have a great collection for your home or to give as gifts!

The small details like this jade tiger add whimsy and drama. Everywhere you look you see some new detail!

This venue is truly decadent! The lighting and decor fit so perfectly.

Guests picked up truffles as a gift from a table decorated with mushrooms and amethyst.

This is one of my favorite wedding photos ever. It communicates such a sexy vibe and mood!