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After we got engaged, I did what any newly engaged girl would do and hit the internet to start obsessing over wedding inspiration boards and details. Immediately, it became clear to my novice eyes that the wedding cake is a big deal.
So, I started collecting inspirational pictures from the interwebs for discussion ad infinitum with my mom, the maid of honor, the mailman, the waitress at Bertucci’s who complimented my ring and so on. I hoped a local bakery would be able to recreate something that resembled one of these astronomically expensive cakes:
Cake-spiration 1: Ron Ben-Israel Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
Cake-spiration 2: Gail Watson Custom Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
Cake-spiration 3: Sylvia Weinstock Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
So now I had my folder of inspirational photos, and I just had to find a bakery that could make a budget friendly version of my dream cake. No problem, except….except, I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around the whole idea of the wedding cake. As I mentioned in my last post, we went way overboard with the venue, leaving a very narrow budget for everything else.
Plus I must confess here, among friends, that I don’t really like wedding cake. Actually, I’m not really wild about cake in general….and I’m particularly tepid about ridiculously expensive and slightly stale cake covered with inedible fondant. Also, the thought of putting the brakes on the whole party just so that my groom and I could awkwardly feed each other seemed, well, very awkward.
I realized that I was only interested in picking a cake design because it felt like something I had to do, so the cake hit the wedding chopping block. Since I made the decision to ax the cake, the reactions have been a little extreme. Some people have enthusiastically applauded our money saving decision, while others have nearly started a wedding mutiny. My future brother-in-law was so outraged that he threatened to bring a Little Debbie cake to smash in my face during the reception, and a few friends graciously offered to do a homemade cake for us. For the most part though people just want to know “Aren’t you upset about missing out on that photo opportunity?”
In short, no, no I am not upset about missing the photo op at all. I mean does anyone ever really look cute while eating/smashing cake? How did this even become a tradition?
Good Old Fashioned Cake Smash
Photo by Randy + April Wedding Photography
I know there will be many other memorable moments from our wedding day (our first kiss as Mr. & Mrs. comes to mind immediately), so I’m okay with skipping this one. However, I am a little upset to miss the cake tasting, that part looks fun!
Hey, Broke-Asses! Christen, your new Real Wedding homie, here. I originally thought I would intro myself with my wedding, but then I saw Brooke and Landon’s pink-and-zebra country club fete oozing with tradition and sentiment, and I couldn’t resist moving them up in the queue. Brooke and her family are dear friends of Dana’s – so we’re extra thrilled to share their special day with you! These two managed to squeeze a 300-person wedding into a budget of ~$23K and its oozing with style! And feel free to get slapped in the face with the incredible amount of luuurrve you’ll get from them.
Name: Brooke
Occupation: Assistant Manager at The Buckle
Wedding location: Salina, Kansas
Wedding Date: June 3, 2011
Budget: $23,597.75
How would you describe your wedding?
Our wedding was PERFECT, at least we think so. Our day started off with me waking up at my parents’ place with my mother and father by my side in the morning with big smiles on their faces. Landon woke up at his family’s place and made sure everything was taken care of at the reception. Landon and I didn’t want to see each other at all before the wedding at 7:00 in the evening. We wanted to be traditional and not ruin the moment that I had dreamed of since I was a little girl.
Our wedding theme was different at both of our sites. At the church it was filled with cherry blossoms, white, pink and just a touch of zebra. The cherry blossoms were used in our family because Landon is part Japanese. His grandmother is actually from Japan and is such a beautiful woman both inside and out.
When you arrived at the reception site you walked in to feather-filled centerpieces, with hot pink and zebra in your face.
Our church was not a traditional church. It is actually a church converted into a blues recording studio. We wanted a church with a lot of character, and we got exactly what we asked for. The walls are covered with signed autographs of famous blues players and posters of past concerts that were held at this old church.
Our reception site was at our country club. This isn’t the fanciest place in the world but it held a tradition for me. About 37 years earlier my parents had their reception at that same country club and I wanted to dance in the same spot they had danced 37 years earlier. We had a jazz band that played when people arrived at 8 until all the people were gone.
When we arrived at the reception we went straight into our couple’s first dance, toasts, slideshow and then the cutting of the cake. We allowed people to eat before we got there so they wouldn’t be waiting on us, because we find it extremely annoying when you are starving and you have to wait on the bride and groom to get there after taking photos for 3 hours so that they can eat first. We then got to eat (a little) and then go around and see all of our friends and family. Then we got to do our father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, group dance, bouquet toss (that included lottery tickets, money and gift cards that both men and women were able to participate in). Then we danced the night away!
I did wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. My old was my grandmothers gold ring that my mother wore in her wedding. Something new was my Maggie Sottero wedding dress. Something borrowed was my mother’s diamond earrings, and something blue was my garter.
What was your favorite part of your wedding?
Not to be cliché, but when I saw Landon at the altar waiting for me to walk down the aisle. My hairdresser bet me that morning that he would be blubbering. I thought “No way!” As I waited nervously, hiding at the back of the church thoughts ran through my head of what he would look like, that I should try not to cry, and not to trip as I walked down the aisle. I looked at my Dad and he gave me a grin and our song started to play. I felt like I needed to pee, puke, all of the above. My father took me by the arm and started to go.
I noticed everyone standing up and all I wanted to see was my family and Landon. I turned the corner down the center aisle and saw his face. I will never forget his face as long as I live. He had the biggest grin but he was struggling trying to fight back tears.
Then, I lost it. All of my scared nervous energy went straight to a smile with tears rolling down my face of joy, that I had finally found my soulmate and today was our day. People keep telling us that when we walked down the aisle you could feel the love between us.
What did you splurge on?
We definitely splurged on our photographers, We Are The Parsons, because we wanted to be able to relive each moment of our wedding for as long as we live. Landon’s father passed away several years ago and we realized how important pictures are because they can capture a memory of a time and a place that we can go back to. We found these photographers online and knew that they were the ones. They fly all around the world to photograph weddings and we were lucky enough to have them in Salina, Kansas, for our wedding day. I hope to continue to have the Parsons take pictures as our family grows for years to come.
What did you save on?
Instead of a sit down full on steak dinner, we decided to do hors d’oeuvres and Shirley Temples. Even though it was still a lot of money it could have been a lot worse with all the people we had. We served mini grilled cheeses with tomato soup shooters, twice-baked potatoes, fajita bar, and a chocolate fountain with fruit, cheesecake, etc. We did not have any alcohol at our wedding because both of us and our families are not very big drinkers in the first place.
Was there anything you would have done differently, in retrospect?
I loved having our wedding reception at the country club, but unfortunately at the same time I had to have about four different meetings with the head people of the club to make sure that everything was ready and good. They seemed to be very unorganized and often forgot the wedding menu and timeline of that night. On our wedding day, our menu had changed a little without notice and our projector we needed for our slideshow was in a different location that day and it was our job then to find another one that morning. Luckily, Landon and my father were to the rescue. I would just make sure that for all your venues you hire someone who will keep in contact with you and who is very organized. This will save a lot of headaches.
What was your biggest challenge in planning?
Trying not to go over our budget! We planned to stay around the $20,000-25,000 range, which we did!!! YAY! But it was hard because we knew a large chunk of money was going to the photographers and toward my dress. Luckily, I had one of the best wedding planners ever and she made it happen.
What lessons did you learn from planning or from the wedding itself?
It’s really really nice to have a timeline and make sure you stay on top of it. in one of my first meetings with my wedding planner, we went over what had to be done every month so I knew what to expect. I was soooo excited about planning my wedding that we were way ahead of schedule on most of everything which was soooo nice. I know several of my friends who got married that same summer didn’t have a set timeline, and it was very challenging for them about 2 months out from the wedding since they had so much to do.
What were your top 5 favorite things about your wedding?
1. Having the most amazing wedding planner, Laura Besher.
2. Our photographers and our photos that we now have forever and ever.
3. Our beautiful four-tiered cherry blossom cake.
4. My dress.
5. The Bill McMosley Jazz Band.
Top 5 least favorite?
1. How hot the church was with over 300 people in it and the A/C was on full blast.
2. Not being able to breathe before walking down the aisle.
3. People walking in last minute right before you walk down the aisle.
4. Landon’s father and my grandfather were unable to be there physically. (But they were there spiritually.)
5. Having to decide who to cut from your close friends on the invitation list so that you don’t max out.
What was the best wedding advice you received?
We had been given this advice from several people, “Enjoy and cherish every moment you have at your wedding, because it will fly by.” This was especially true for us because we didn’t have our wedding until 7 in the evening. This was honestly the best advice because we can remember and enjoy almost every moment from our wedding because we took the time to enjoy it and not worry about the little things.
Any other bits of wisdom?
Be yourself and have a blast!! Just remember that this is your special day with the person you are going to be with the rest of your life. It’s kind of awesome.
Hair Dresser: Terri Hajny at Hair Connection in Salina, Kan.
Cheers, Brooke and Landon! Looks like a rockin’ good time. xoxo!
The Broke-Ass Bride is always looking for rad-tastic Broke-Ass weddings to feature. Interested? You can submit via Two Bright Lights or by emailing us directly!
Things got a little hot and heavy around here for the past few days… so let’s lighten things up a bit with a frothy and fun new episode of Broke-Ass TV, exploring the age old tradition of the flower petal (or rice) toss at weddings, and how to spice that up with a modern and personal twist!
This video is extra funny (to me, at least) because it was one of the first videos we ever shot, so please enjoy watching me looking super nervous and saying the word “magical” wayyyy too much… and Hunter looking as though he is on opium (his words, not mine). HA.
Seriously though, our whole first set of videos alternate between us looking like deer caught in headlights, and lost children who’ve not slept in weeks. And this is just the beginning Which explains why we launched the series with later videos, to save our embarassment until we had you deep in our video clutches. Mwahahaha!
Enjoy the awkwardness, I mean, uh… great tips!
Did we miss any great alternatives? What are you using for your big send off?
Ironic confession time: we did flower petals! My sister surprised us with it, and I’m so glad she did. Check out the gorgeousness that ensued…
By the by, we just upgraded to a fancy new camera so we can shoot videos on our own now (adios, mahalo!) – and we need your input on what DIY projects or topics you’d like covered! Let us know, yo! Hit us up in the comments, or send your requests to info@brokeassbride.com – we’d love to hook you up!
Your wedding is fast approaching. You’ve made your final vendor payments, everyone has their dresses, you’ve finalized the menu, gone over the play list with the DJ, the shot list with the photographer, printed the programs, printed the place cards, and scheduled your hair, make-up for your wedding day, and a relaxing trip to the nail salon that week.
What else, what else?
Oh. The Wedding Rehearsal.
Time to learn how to herd cats, y’all. One of the brides that called into my 15 minutes of Wedding Planning session last week pointed out that there isn’t a lot out there about organizing rehearsals. She’s right. Let’s change that, shall we?
Traditional Christian or Non-Denominational Ceremony - Girls on the Left, Boys on the Right
First things first. Who needs to be there? Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, yes. Officiant? If they can make it, it wouldn’t hurt. Your parents? If they are participating in the processional, definitely, although odds are they’re going to want to be there, anyway. Here’s the processional worksheet I’ve been using with my couples this year. It’s public to everyone, so download it as an excel sheet onto your computer before editing it.
So, when can you schedule the rehearsal? Call your venue and find out. Don’t assume that you’ll be able to do it the day before. I’ve been running into venues lately, that, because of their event schedules, can only have rehearsals in the middle of the week or weekday, which isn’t terribly convenient. Once you get the times, figure out when most of your wedding party can be there. “Most”, not “all”. “All” is a miracle, and if it happens, send thanks up to the Wedding Gods .
The day’s arrived and (almost) everyone is there. Now what? Give yourself enough time to run through the processional (up the aisle) and recessional (back down the aisle) twice. This takes about an hour. Usually the officiant is either standing at the end of the aisle when the wedding party arrives, or is the first to walk up. The groom, with or without his parents, is usually the second.
Speaking of parents, if they’re part of the procession, where are they coming in? Is he escorting his Mom down the aisle to her seat in the front, before taking his place? If your mother is not walking down with you, who will be taking her to her seat? In a Jewish wedding, both sets of parents walk their children down, and then take their places under the chuppah. But I’ve seen this a lot in Christian and non-denominational ceremonies, too. It’s a nice touch.
Traditional Jewish Ceremony - Girls on the Right, Boys On the Left (Courtesy of Wedding Yentas and Kokoro Photography)
Now, line up everyone at the end of the aisle in the order you want them to be there. Bride and groom at the front, of course. Generally, the Maid of Honor is behind the Bride and the Best Man behind the Groom. Bridesmaids behind the Maid of Honor, Groomsmen behind the Best Man. Okay, how are they getting up there? Are they walking together, or separately? Are the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen walking together or separately? Fill out the bottom of the worksheet according to the order they’re going up the aisle, so they get to where you want them to be, without having to cross in front of each other. In other words, the couple closest to where the Maid of Honor and Best Man will be standing walks first. The exception – exception – to this, is that the Maid of Honor and Best Man are usually the last ones up the aisle before the bride, if they are walking together. If it doesn’t look right the first time you do it, feel free to change it up. Maybe he wants his Best Man to walk with him, or you want your Maid of Honor to walk alone, right before you. That’s cool, Harry and Pippa did it. Just remember, you can do whatever you want, but try and make it look smooth Does the pacing need to be slowed down or sped up? What are the cues for everyone to start walking? If there are wedding party members missing at the rehearsal, let the folks that are going to be in front and behind them know about it. Run through it a couple of times, including the recessional. Twice, at the most. I’m serious. You don’t want the crowd to get ugly, and they will.
Is your head ready to explode, yet? No? Excellent, then let’s move on.
Rehearsals are also the perfect time to quickly go through the schedule for the day. When is everybody meeting up and where? When does hair and make up start? Photography? What is your wedding party doing after the ceremony – more pictures, or do they get to join the cocktail hour? If you’re making a “grand entrance”, are they being announced during it? If you’re going straight into your first dance, are they hanging out around the dance floor or going to their tables? Either way, tell them what their table numbers are.
Printed schedules are great for this, as is google docs, something they can pull up on their smart phone and reference. You and your mate should make sure that everyone has your cell phone numbers, and that between the two of you, you have all of theirs. Some of this will not stick in their heads – it’s a lot! But if they all hear it, the lost ones will be able to find someone else who knows what’s going on.
And you’re done. Remember, the world will not end if someone walks down in the wrong order. For one thing, only you will know. Now go to your rehearsal dinner and have fun. And if you drink too much, remember – water and/or Gatorade the next morning, and ibuprofen. Coffee will, unfortunately, dry you out even more. You’re welcome!
Any questions, or stories to tell about your own rehearsal? I wanna know in the comments below!
See you at the end of the aisle (especially since you now know how to get there),
Well, my latest wedding gig was Saturday. Beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. Rained, but not during the ceremony, just a little before and a lot after. You know… right when I was driving home through the canyons with the back of my car filled to the brim with candy buffet containers and reception remainders. Sigh. All part of the service. And better me than the Bride and Groom, right?
But this wedding, especially, reminded me of all the things that can sneak up on you during the day, even if someone (like me) is waving in your face trying to warn you. So, here’s a few tips to avoid that “Wait, What? How did that happen??” feeling. Umm, well…
Brace yourself for clouds on that horizon. (Courtesy of B&G Photography)
Rain, Rain, Go Away: But alas, it won’t. If your ceremony and reception are scheduled to be outdoors, and the forecast is looking cloudy, have a plan. An indoor spot at your venue, an alternative location. You might not need it, but it will stress you out less if you know that it’s there. Better to have and not need, etc. If there’s a lot of decoration for your outdoor, potentially rained-out wedding, try and start it as late as you can.
Your guests can’t find their place cards/tables: 100 people cramming a table, trying to find their place cards. Confusion! I am serious about this – print out a list of your guests in alphabetical order by last name, with their table numbers. Have someone, preferably whoever set up the place cards in the first place, monitor the table with list in hand. Use actual and full real names, and don’t get cute – arrange the place cards by last name, because everyone knows what their last name is. I once had a guest at another wedding looking through the place cards for his, to no avail. It was there, he just didn’t realize he was Uncle Hootie, because his real name is David Peters. No nicknames, guys.
Reaching Your Bar Consumption: You’ve put down money for the bar, and your banquet manager/wedding planner informs you that you’re about $50 away from your limit. And the cocktail hour isn’t even over, yet (true story). Toss some more money at it, or shut it down? At your final meeting with the caterer before the wedding, go over your choices carefully. Is it better to have an open bar, or offer select drinks, instead? How much is each drink plus tax and service? If you know that your crowd drinks, don’t go for the regular schedule of two drinks per person – calculate it at 3 or 4. Figure out the most that it will probably cost you, and go from there.
Watch it!
Time, Time, TIME. There is one definite with every wedding: When everyone needs to get the heck out. That includes your vendors and that includes you. If your photographer is scheduled to leave at 10pm, and it’s 9:50 and you haven’t cut the cake or had your first dance, yet, then odds are they are not going to stick around without charging you. If your venue contract says you’re done by midnight, then you’re not going to be able to stay longer without them charging you. Find out what those charges are beforehand, memorize them, and decide what you’re going to do if someone taps you on your shoulder and then taps their watch. It happens – toasts can take 45 minutes instead of 20, family pictures can get delayed because you can’t find your Dad’s cousin (who is at the other bar at the other end of the hotel), four-course meals can take a little too long. General rule: You can make up a time delay of 15 minutes or less. Anything more than that and you run the risk of running out of time. Try to nip it in the bud by informing your wedding party and family of the schedule, and where they need to be, when, and to keep the speeches short. Have a watch of your own. And don’t send someone after your Dad’s cousin who doesn’t know what he looks like.
But the one, best approach to facing whatever comes your way? Is to stay calm. It’s all going to work out. You’ll have a fantastic day. You’ve been forewarned, you’re not forearmed, and you’re still going to have a wonderful day. Enjoy it.
So, what other surprises are you worried about running into, and how are you going to combat them? Or did any of you run into any other sneaks during your wedding? Let me know in the comments.
Like many a Broke-Ass Bride, I’m forgoing flowers entirely at my wedding. I originally thought I wouldn’t need any sort of bouquet alternative, but you know how it is when you read wedding blogs. You see a few amazing bouquets made of paper or buttons or Christmas ornaments and suddenly you need a “ball of pretty” to hold in your hands on your wedding day.
I found myself particularly delighted by the ubiquitous (at least as far as non-flower bouquets can reach ubiquity) brooch bouquet, because a bouquet made of jewelry could fit in my mixed-metallic color scheme in a way that flowers never would have. I also had access to a bunch of free pins from my mother-in-law, who incorporates recycled jewelry and found metals into her artwork.
But here’s the thing, the traditional dome-shaped brooch bouquet[yeah, I'm as surprised as you are that "traditional brooch bouquet" is a phrase that makes sense in the Wild World of Wedding Websites] requires more than “a bunch” of pins. It requires a wheelbarrow full of pins. And I wanted to make four brooch bouquets. If I made my bouquets the usual way, I’d need a garden shed full of pins.
So I took a page from the Broke-Ass Brides out there with flower bouquets and made clever use of filler. The brooch bouquet version of baby’s breath is wire that’s been bent and twisted and curled into funky pleasing swirly shapes that evoke the stems and leaves and stamens of flowers.
Here’s what you’ll need:
Tools: Wire cutter, needle-nose pliers (to do the tricky bending and working that doesn’t need to look pretty), round-nose pliers (to create the pretty bends and curls). Wire: 12-gauge aluminum floral wire (for stems), 16-gauge aluminum wire (for filler), 26-gauge jewelry wire (for attaching the brooches) Brooches: 3-6 per bouquet (that’s it!!) Optional extras: Extra rhinestones or sparkly beads to liven up the filler, glue dots to snub the pointy ends of brooch pins, floral tape to wrap the handle of the bouquet to protect dresses from snags.
Here’s how to do it:
Step 1: This part’s technique is adapted from Sarah’s excellent tutorial on how to make a dome-shaped brooch bouquet. Weave a piece of 26 gauge wire through the brooch so you have a U-shape of wire with the ends sticking out of the pin. Twist the ends together to form a triangle under the pin.
Step 2: Anchor your new “brooch flower” to a sturdier piece of 12 gauge wire by looping the wire through the triangle of the smaller wire. Twist all the ends together. Admire how free-standing and non-wobbly your new brooch flower is.
Step 3:
Using your round-nose pliers and other rounded surfaces, create bends and pretty swirly loops within a piece of 16-gauge wire. Alternatively, look through your mother-in-law’s cellar until you find a shopping bag full of pre-formed swirly loops of wire that were used as napkin rings at your sister-in-law’s wedding.
[Sorry this picture is out of focus]
Step 4: Slide the stem you made in Step 2 through the pretty swirly loop from Step 3.
Step 5: Lather, rinse, repeat steps 1–4 for however many brooches you want to use. Sometimes you can put two stems through one swirly loopy piece. Just go with the flow, combining pieces until your bouquet is sufficiently bouquet-shaped.
Advantages of the filler brooch bouquet:
Lower cost! This is the biggie. Cutting down on the number of pins you need epically reduces the price of the bouquet. Or it lets you spend bigger on each pin to get some truly remarkable pieces.
Lower weight! Have you ever held a dome-shaped brooch bouquet? They weigh about as much as a three-month old baby. The filler-friendly bouquet weighs about as much as a three-month old fetus. Which one of those do you think more brides carry around on their wedding day?
The funky fresh factor. Yep, we’re now at the point where we’re discussing alternatives to bouquet alternatives. Feel free to roll your eyes! But using wire gives you so much more flexibility in shape and allows for more variation in color and texture within your bouquet. More chances to add your own personality to the finished product!
Disadvantages
One-sidedness. Dome-shaped bouquets hide the backs of the brooches. This technique doesn’t. You can sort of obscure the ugly pin backs with curly wire flourishes, but ultimately your bouquet will have a clear “best angle.” It might end up being too much of a pain to keep that facing the camera/audience at all times.
Risk of snags. More wire means more pointy ends means more things to snag your dress on. Careful, patient work with your pliers will keep your stems as neat as possible to avoid snaggy bits. But if you are rushed, lazy, and/or aren’t set on a metallic color scheme, wrap those bad boys with floral tape to smooth everything over.
The mysterious step 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That part of the ‘torial was a bit of a cop-out. But before the napkin ring windfall, I was making my own swirls just fine, thanksmuch. So let me tell you: if you’re prepared for a lot of trial and error and slow, steady wielding of your round-nosed pliers, you can do it. Find the technique that works for your hands and tools to create the shape that works for your bouquet.
So there you have it: the ins, outs, ups, and downs of a broke-ass variant on the brooch bouquet. Anyone else crafting with wire? Or did I lose you at “alternative to bouquet alternative”?
It’s the last Friday of the month, which means it’s time for me to take questions from YOU. Here we go:
Dear Liz:
I have a large family, 2 sets of parents with all the usual aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My future husband’s family is smaller by far. I am close to 10-15 family members and want to make sure they attend our wedding. Recently at a family function, one side of my family that I’m not very close to asked the where, when, etc about my wedding.
Of course they all wanted to know when their invites were coming and I did not say anything to make them feel they would not be invited. Now I have to re-plan my festivities for 94 instead of 45-50. Is it possible to “un-invite” family?
Courtesy of Kenny Backer Photo
Signed,
Flummoxed at $79.95 a person
Dear Flummoxed,
The good news is that you haven’t actually invited them, yet.
If I were you, I’d take this list of, Good Lord, almost 50 extra people to your parents, and see what they think. Be honest – say that you’re not that close with the extra half-hundred (!), and weren’t planning to invite them before the fateful get together. Mention the added cost a couple of times, the destruction of desired plans, and try to narrow down the list to whomever they feel has to be invited. That is the ultimate nice way to do it, if only to avoid your parents or loved ones having to answer the question, “Hey, how come I didn’t get invited to Flummoxed’s wedding?”, any time soon. <gulp> The next nice way to do it is put the unwanteds on a “B” list, sending them invitations only when you’ve got acceptances and rejections from your primary list. Or, you can just not invite them, but that might not be possible on a personal or political level. Choose whatever will stress you out the least. But if you feel you need to invite some of them, I’d start with your parents.
I know that it’s hard to know what to say when put on the spot like that (ugh) but for those of you who might face a similar situation with similarly presumptive people, practice this response, “Gosh, you know, we haven’t gotten that far in the planning, but yeah, we’re really excited, thank you so much! So, how’s (change of subject related to them) going?” Gall bladder surgeries, new houses, new puppies, anything having to do with whatever you know about their lives, and go with it.
Courtesy of Kenny Backer Photo
Hi Liz,
I’ve been wondering when the bride and groom usually check into their wedding night hotel? My wedding will be in Santa Barbara so I will be staying at a hotel the week before, but my fiance and I wanted to stay at a different location on the night of our wedding. My wedding day is starting to fill up with hair appointments, makeup, photography, etc, and I’m just wondering how I’m going to make time to check out of my current hotel and check into my new hotel, especially given check-in time restrictions. What should I do?
Signed,
The Road’s Not Traveled Yet
Dear Traveled,
The first thing I do whenever there’s a problem is find out exactly what I’m dealing with. Call the hotel that you’re staying in before your wedding and explain the situation. Standard check-out is usually 11am, with check-in available at 2 or 3pm, but find out what the latest checkout time is that you can get. Then give your wedding night hotel a call, too. There usually isn’t a specific time that you have to check IN, just when you CAN – but make sure. See if there is there a way that you can check in remotely, by phone call or online. After that, it should just be a matter of getting your stuff over there. Are you taking a car/being driven/able to hide your suitcases somewhere in your venue? My wedding planner duties sometimes include transport, and always include an assistant who can drive, so if you have a planner, ask. If not, you’re just going to have to store it where you can and remember to put it in the getaway car before you take off. Ask someone to remind you. Moms are very good at that job.
Courtesy of Kenny Backer Photo
Dear Liz:
I’m the mother of the Groom. Although the bride’s parents are paying the majority of the wedding costs, my husband and I are taking care of the bar and the wedding flowers, along with the rehearsal dinner. The problem has been the invitation wording. My husband and I wanted the invites to include our names as well, as in “Mr. and Mrs. Robert and Karen Jones and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas and Jane Simmons request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children Sarah Jones and Charles Simmons.” Her parents seemed to resist this, at first, but agreed to it. As a compromise, the wedding rehearsal invitations will say “join us” as opposed to naming my husband and me as hosts. Is this proper etiquette, or have we overstepped, given that they are paying much more towards the wedding than we are?
Signed,
Paid and Proper
Dear Paid,
I think you’re okay. There are two invite wording standards these days: Either the bride and groom invite everyone (Sarah Jones and Charles Simmons request the honor of your presence at their wedding) or the bride and groom, along with their families (together with their families, Sarah Jones and Charles Simmons…) invite everyone. But the wording on your children’s invites is used frequently too, as a way of involving both families, especially since both sides will have guests of their own at the wedding. In other words, it’s a good way to avoid a potential guest opening the invitation and thinking, “Wait, who?” I can see where your discomfort comes in financially, but you should give yourself a break, seriously. The rehearsal, the flowers, the bar? These are essential things. You know, especially the bar. Thumbs up from me.
What do you guys think about these questions? I’m curious if anyone has run into “Miles” problem, and how they resolved it. Let me know in the comments. Bring it!
This is the 2nd post in a week-long series of amazing DIY projects from Kimberly at Inspired Goodness from a wedding she designed. We already shared her ceremony canopy, and today we’re moving to interior decorations with the ribbon wall, chair back signs and tissue paper garland! Keep coming back all week for more tasty goodness, but for now, I’ll let Kimberly take it away.
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Since the venue was a large empty loft space, we decided to visually portion off some areas with simple decorations. The vibrant colors and repeat patterns were a nod to Dan’s love of architecture and clean lines. Marquina selected the grass green, white and lilac color palette and we ran with it.
Above: a 12-foot wall of ribbon was secured between to large floor-to-ceiling columns. It served as a backdrop for the sweetheart table and hid some pipes along the far wall from being in photographs.
Shorter variations of the ribbon wall were used to decorate the bride and grooms’ chairs with “Just” and “Married” signs, along with a bit of detail on the front of the sweetheart table.
We created a series of tissue paper garlands using grass green, lilac and white squares. These were tied in an “X” shape over the dance floor and also were wrapped along the staircase leading from the ceremony area to the reception space outside.
Ribbon Wall
To recreate the ribbon wall, you want to simply measure the space you have (both width and height) and break out your calculator to do some calculations based on what width ribbon you plan to order. To give it a random look, we worked with about 5 different colors and widths. It made planning a bit more difficult, but the end look was just perfect.
You want to begin with one spool of ribbon at a time. Cut to your calculated room height, but be sure to add an extra 2” at the top for sewing a loop. Once all your ribbon is cut, organize it (believe me when I say you will need a lot of space for this project. It took over my apartment for a good week and there was a mess of ribbon everywhere mid-way through.)
Break out your sewing machine and thread with a color that compliments your color palette. We choose white thread. At one end of each piece of ribbon, slightly fold over 1” and sew a line. Make sure to seal off the ends with a backstitch. Cut the ribbon off the threaded machine and you’re good to go.
Day-of, you can thread the sewn ribbon onto a heavy gauge fishing line. If you are using a lot of ribbon, be sure to bring wire to secure it to the columns. It’s easier to handle than fishing line.
Since you will be most likely using a large amount of ribbon, it’s key to find it from a wholesaler. We went with JMK and choose a Satin / Acetate blend. It comes in a ton of colors and is really cost effective. We recommend going with larger widths like 2” and 4” to make sure you have less ribbon. It makes the project run a lot faster.
Total Project Cost: $75
Tissue Paper Garland Tutorial
Materials:
1. Tissue Paper Squares: Oriental Trading Company had the best selections I found. Their price for a set of 8 colors (625 squares of each color) is just $4.99.
2. Thread: I used standard white sewing thread. Originally I purchased clear thread, but it kept breaking in the sewing machine. The white worked perfectly and I used less than 1 full spool (including the thread for the bobbin).
3. Sewing Machine: I had to do some tests first with the tension since tissue paper is very brittle to sew. A chain stitch worked perfectly to hold the pieces just right.
Directions, per above photos:
1. I started by separating the squares of tissue paper and organizing them by color. This took a little more time then expected, but it makes sewing a breeze.
2. My sewing machine was threaded with white thread and with some gentle pressure on my foot petal; I kept a slow, constant pace, alternating the three colors.
3. Close-up detail of the spacing used for the squares. Some were layered on top of each other and others we’re spaced out a little wider, as in this example.
4. Detail of the finished garland
Total Project Cost: less than $10
Stay tuned throughout the week, for more Inspired DIY Goodness from Kimberly Canale, including a photo-display wall, seed packet escort card favors and invitations! (reception photos by Casey Fatchett Photography)
We asked the wonderful Kimberly from Inspired Goodness to share some budget-friendly DIY projects that her company made, after dying over them in a Real Wedding submission we received… and she delivered a huge bounty of budget (dare I say cheap?) do-it-yourself wedding inspiration! Throughout the week in this special series, we’ll be sharing her instructions for a fabulous ceremony canopy, ribbon wall, tissue paper garland, photo-display wall, and seed packet escort card favors… all for under $500 TOTAL. Oh, you say you need invitations? Yeah, we’ve got them coming up, too! Better bookmark these pages, people… its some crazy amazing DIY action! Take it away, Kimberly!
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We started working with Marquina and Dan after they were declared winners of our Lucky in Love contest on our blog, Inspired Goodness. As the winners, they were given full access to our resources and ideas. Our team designed a wedding influenced by Dan: an architect and planner who was focused on everything having a clear purpose and Marquina, a free spirit and burst of energy who provided inspiration for using bold colors, sophisticated materials and fun details.
Since Marquina and Dan were getting hitched at one of the newest venues in Red Hook, Brooklyn, an industrial and artistic area, I wanted to make sure we kept materials true to the roots of the neighborhood. Kraft paper kept the paper goods grounded with an organic feel and the abundance of terrariums and foliage were in perfect accent to the well know local nursery that shares the pier with the venue.
The venue, Liberty Warehouse, is located on the end of a Pier in one of the most up and coming areas in all of Brooklyn. Filled with small boutiques, shops and restaurants, the community feels like an urban garden oasis, stemming from the large amount of artist spaces and garden centers around.
It was key for us to look for local area vendors and with Ruth and Amanda of QuatreCoeur, we had ourselves an amazing floral team that brought many of the couple’s ideas to life. Taking on the job of creating terrariums, centerpieces and personal flowers, QuatreCoeur took the color palette and organic look Marquina and Dan were after and created something that really complimented the loft space.
In all, we spent a little over $500 for all the decorations.
The Ceremony:
The wedding ceremony was held outside at the far end of the pier. The space is massive and overlooks one of the most signature NYC landmarks, the Statue of Liberty. It’s also close to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal; you can see a ship passing by before the start of the ceremony.
Decorations were kept to a minimum as to not detract from the amazing view. Our role was to create a canopy structure that acted as a background for the service.
Tutorial for Ceremony Canopy:
Materials:
1. Quickrete: 1 bag for each planter
2. Plastic Planters: do not try this with terra cotta unless you want broken pottery everywhere!
3. Tall PVC pipes: we used (3) 8 foot tall pipes in a 1” diameter
4. Short PVC pipes: we used (1) 8 foot tall pipe that was cut into three shorter pieces. This pipe should be one size larger in diameter than the other. 1.25” was used.
5. Shade sail Canopy
6. Large Eyelet Screw
7. Large “S” Hooks
8. Misc. Decorations for the corner of the canopy
9. Sheet Moss: we used a few leftover pieces to cover the poured Quickrete in the planters
10. Extra cord / rope for securing canopy corners
Directions: (This portion should be done in advance of your event – at least 1-week prior)
Safety first: we recommend wearing protective eyewear, masks and gloves when working with Quickrete. This stuff is nasty if it gets into your throat! Plus it tends to heat up when mixed with water so gloves are important!
1. Cut the 1.5” diameter PVC pipe to fit your planter. Keep it 2-3” from the top of the container
2. Place each of the short pipes into a planter. Tape the pipe at the base of the planter into place.
3. Following the directions on the bag, pour the Quickrete into 1 planter at a time. Leave about 2-3” from the top of the container, about level with the PVC pipe.
4. Let the Quickrete dry at least 72 hours. Once dry, use sheet moss to cover the cement. Make sure to leave the center area free to insert the tall PVC pipes on-site.
5. Mark 4” down from the top of each 8 foot PVC pipe and drill a hold slightly smaller than the diameter of your large eyelet at that point. Thread the large eyelet screw into the pipe. A wrench should help you tighten this in place.
6. (Optional) Decorate your canopy at each corner. We used some leftover ribbon, and Tapioca Wood flowers.
(Day of installation)
1. Insert the tall pipe into the center of each planter. It should fit snugly into the pipe that is buried in the cement.
2. Setup your assembled planters in place. The canopy we used was triangular so we setup the three into this shape.
3. Attach your canopy to the eyelets at the top of each long pipe using an “S” hook.
4. Use the extra cord you brought along to secure the corners of each planter. When working in a windy area, this is essential.
Tips:
1. A PVC pipe comes with manufacturer information printed on it. Use a sanding block to strip the ink off. It will give the pipes a finished, clean appearance.
2. Depending on the location where you plan to setup the canopy will determine the size container you use for the Quickrete. We recommend using something at least 12” wide x 12” deep.
Cost Breakdown:
1. Planters: $40 for 3
2. PVC pipes: $7
3. Quickrete: $16
4. Canopy: $90
5. Decorations: free, we used leftover bits from other events.
6. Sheet Moss: $20
7. “S” Hooks + Eyelets: $7
8. Misc. Tools: includes saw for pipe cutting, sanding block, tape: $20
Which explains why we launched the series with later videos, to save our embarassment until we had you deep in our video clutches. Mwahahaha!
