Real Bride Katie It's Time for a Planning Pause

Hey everyone, long time no see!

I’ve been absent for a little bit because it felt dishonest to write up a post about wedding stuff when I’ve been too wrapped up in other life things to think about it much.

But then I thought – hey, why not write about that?

The big bad WIC would like us to believe that we should be thinking about our weddings every hour of every day, for the entire time we are engaged. Ain’t nobody got time for that, yo! Well, that’s not entirely true – if you got time for that, and it makes you happy, then by all means, do it! But don’t feel ashamed if you don’t. For a lot of us, that’s a whole year of your life – or more! — and lord knows life doesn’t slow down just because you’re getting married.

To be sure, there are some things that need to be done quickly. If you wait too long on date and venue, you’ll have to compromise on one or the other, and that can be really frustrating. But worrying about table decorations that I won’t need to use for another 10 months, when I’m in tech week for a musical featuring 50 children and 25 adults? No. No ma’am, that’s not happening.

The point is this: control your checklist, don’t let it control you. Once my show closes, I’ll probably take some time over the holidays to reorganize mine. It’s going to go from most important to least important, rather than by the timetable the Internet gives me for it. My goal is to complete all the things that I put on it, and in all honesty, that probably won’t happen.

But is anyone going to care?


Don’t get me wrong – I love wedding planning, and my Pinterest board is just as crazy as everyone else’s. But I want it on my time, when it makes me happy, or when something is urgent.

We’ve been very over-scheduled since about August, and we’re finally due for a break. The stress has been a LOT for us to handle, as it’s worn us down physically and emotionally, leading to bigger fights than we’re used to. It’s so important to me to keep wedding stress contained in its own little box that I can open when I feel like I can handle it. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for doing the same!

I will be back! And soon. I have save the dates and invitations and our engagement pictures will come in and I haven’t even thought about a cake yet and …

Katie is a Real Bride Contributor for The Broke-Ass Bride. She is also a lawyer, an actor, a creep, a burlesque performer, a stage manager, and a writer - and that's just the things she gets paid for! In the rare moments that she is off the clock, she enjoys reading, TV both trashy and legit, movies, and hanging out with her fiance, two cats, Pip and Muffin, and a rescued German Shepherd named Spark.
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