10/15

Hello readers!

I was hoping to write my second post with the news that we had settled on a date and a venue and that all is sunshine and roses. Here at BAB, however, we deal in reality, even when it’s not pretty.

First, the good news! We are nearly 100% set on the venue. Andrew and I met through a theater production, and we’re both still involved in theater today. When we walked into Chanhassen Dinner Theatre’s Club Theatre, we fell in love.

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Andrew and the event coordinator, looking from the stage into the audience. Personal photo.

I wish we had taken more pictures, but I was too busy being overwhelmed with information. The space has a legitimate stage and a full light bar with smart lights (you can read that as “ooooh, pretty!” if you’re not technically inclined) that we can use and customize. It’s tough to see, but if you look down in the lower left, the space was set up for a ceremony. We would go across the hall for a cocktail hour while they converted it for the reception. There will be a bunch of tables on the floor with dance space, and then more tables up in the upper level. The head table will be on the stage, which is where the ceremony will take place as well.  And those pretty lanterns can be any color we want!

We saw a second venue last night. We probably aren’t going to use it, but it’s lovely and they certified me as a princess.

Real Bride Katie's Princess Pen  I normally don’t approve of pretty princess rhetoric, but that pen is hard to argue with! Personal photo.

Rosehenge Hall (Lakeville, Minn.) is a fantastic venue, with some really thoughtful and interesting updates, including an impeccably designed lighting and sound system. The 11 p.m. end time due to city ordinance was something we weren’t thrilled about, and we also really wanted a location with walkable hotels, since 2/3 of our guest list is from out of town and we don’t want to worry about alcohol issues. We’ve mostly crossed this off the list, but if you have more of an early-ish crowd with a lot of locals, check it out!

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Set up in progress for a wedding this weekend. Personal photo.

Pretty sunshine-y so far, right? Well, here’s where things get stormy.

Halloween is on a Saturday next year, and so I immediately started lobbying (and planning, because I prefer my carts to be miles in front of my horses) to have the wedding on that date. We’ve received a lot of pushback from friends who have children, because the wedding would interfere with trick-or-treating. Also, my mom informed me that because it’s my step-grandma’s birthday, the date really would not work for them. I balked at this, because (while I love her and believe all birthdays should be celebrated, no matter how old you are!) they haven’t historically made a huge effort to do much more than make a phone call, and of course she would be invited! She reminded me that they had never made that much of a effort before, because she always had her husband there — who passed away in December.

Ouch.

What’s more, she isn’t super likely to be healthy enough to travel.

On top of all that, Andrew admitted that he is only really on board with allowing kids to be in costumes, not adults. Are we the Grinch who stole Halloween if we invite people to a wedding on Halloween but don’t let them dress up? Are we jerks for ruining trick-or-treating, even if we create a trick or treat experience at the wedding? I honestly don’t know.

There’s a recurring family event on 10/17 that I don’t think the organizer will be willing to move, and 10/10 for some reason feels too close to my sister’s anniversary, 10/2/10. We are hoping that the coordinator will tell us that the wedding on 10/24 is only a hold, not a solid booking, and that it will expire, solving all our problems in one fell swoop. No one expects to be able to wear costumes, no family issues, and I can still use my Halloween ideas. Otherwise, we’re looking at November 7th, and all of my Halloween plans are out the window. That’s not the end of the world, but I’m sure pouting like it is! Fall weddings are so popular these days, and it just feels like a much larger challenge to make it uniquely us. There’s also the fact that my sister had the quintessential classic fall wedding, and that I don’t like most of the classic fall colors (reds, oranges, yellows).

… It’s okay. I know I’m overthinking and pouting and being a big ol’ drama queen about it. But I think the crux of the matter is a universal issue: When should you take into account the opinions of people other than yourself and your fiancé? Andrew is quite frustrated and wants to just make a decision. I’d already proclaimed that there are only two opinions that matter for this wedding, but I can’t help but feel like this is one decision where we need to listen to at least SOME of our guests! At the same time, we feel like we’re never going to pick a date that pleases everyone, so we might as well do what we want.

Guys, did you deal with any of this stuff? How and when do you draw the lines on other people’s opinions?



Katie is a Real Bride Contributor for The Broke-Ass Bride. She is also a lawyer, an actor, a creep, a burlesque performer, a stage manager, and a writer - and that's just the things she gets paid for! In the rare moments that she is off the clock, she enjoys reading, TV both trashy and legit, movies, and hanging out with her fiance, two cats, Pip and Muffin, and a rescued German Shepherd named Spark.
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