I know that most of us here at The Broke-Ass Bride are in the whirlwind of planning our big days. I also know how easy it is to get caught up with the wedding and forget to focus on what you want out of marriage. Most of us have at least one role model in our lives of a “good” marriage –something we aspire to – otherwise we probably wouldn’t be getting ourselves into this lifelong commitment. Both Michael and I are very fortunate to come from families where our parents are still married. In this post, however, I want to go back a generation to these lovely people:

These are my maternal grandparents, Rick & Jan, and this year they celebrate their 63rd wedding anniversary. Sixty-three! They have been married about 75% of their lives!
My grandpa came back from the Navy to his hometown of St. Louis, Missouri, when he was 23. My grandma lived in the same city and their families attended the same church, which is where they met. They dated casually until my grandpa asked her to go steady. {Eds. note: OMG. The cutest!}
Side note: My favorite story includes: “I borrowed my dad’s car so I could take your grandma out on a date. At the end of the date I leaned over to kiss her and I missed! I was so nervous I almost knocked her hat off.”
As far as the engagement goes my grandpa will say: “Well I never asked her to marry me, but going steady basically means you’re engaged, so since everyone was assuming we were engaged we went along with it”.
And the wedding itself? “I had this whole backyard garden wedding planned … and then it was pouring rain. We got married in the basement of his parent’s house and set the cake on the dining room table.” His parents weren’t even at the wedding! They were on vacation. My grandparents originally planned their wedding for after the vacation, but had to push it up because my grandpa got a job offer in Hawaii.
If their story isn’t one that shows that the quality of your wedding doesn’t dictate the quality of your marriage, I don’t know what does.
What’s so easy to forget — but important to remember – is that your marriage is so much more important than your wedding. Things will go wrong on your big day – but that’s only one day. As long as you and your partner have a firm foundation, a lasting marriage is greater testament of love than a perfect wedding.

Jess Smith is a 23 year old San Diego native who has recently relocated to LA to be with the love of her life. She's currently battling a House of Cards addiction from which she never hopes to recover.
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