I gave my bridesmaids the most blessed gift of all: The Freedom of Choice.

Please excuse me while I toot my own horn …

Honestly though, in my very own humble opinion, formal and official bridesmaids dresses are an extremely dated practice. Even if I did like the tradition, there is still no way in Hades that I would ever ask my girls to spend more than $100 of their hard-earned money on a dress they will wear once. YES, ONCE. I’ve been in several weddings and never have I ever worn a bridemaids dress for another occasion. Please stop trying to make that happen.

The mismatchedness and normalness of this makes my heart so happy. Via Green Wedding Shoes.

So much to everyone’s shock, I gave the girls a color palette and said HAVE AT IT. You see, I tend to be a control freak. But this was my one thing that I wanted to give my girls a choice with. Not only because of the dated practice of matchy-matchy dress wearing, and the cost associated with them, but also because I love online shopping. Online window browsing, if you will. I consider myself an expert. I check Modcloth and ShopRuche daily. Yes, daily.

I also understand how different womens’ bodies are. Because, DUH. And I want my girls to be comfortable and confident and not nearly pass out in a dress because they refused to order a size up at the risk of having to pay for alterations (not that I did that once … I mean … ).

The ONE risk associated with giving your girls the freedom of choice? These.

These were actual, real-life options that my youngest sisters texted to me. Yes, incredibly tiny and young twin sisters. We know you are cute. Yes, those do fall somewhere in the color palette. BUT DEAR GOD NO. We all had a good laugh and then I let them know that they each earned a strike as bridal party members and that they were officially on notice. I think they thought I was kidding …

Justin is not as into the mismatchedness as much as I am, but we didn’t want to ask the groomsmen to shell out multiple hundreds of dollars for a suit or a kitchsy getup either. So we went the rental route (well under $100!) and will be providing their ties for them (thanks, Macy’s sale!). Also very reasonable, also very easy to deal with. And once I stop trying to dictate the exact shade that their shoes need to be, all will be well! You give me one ounce of control and see what happens …

If we can make it easy for them and everyone still looks wonderful, my job is done! And really, I have more important things to lord over than old-timey bridemaids dresses (like the DJ playlist … for another day … ).

Tiffany can best be described as a combination of Linda Belcher and Selina Meyer. She has a deep love for her fiance, her sociopathic feline, beer, and frequent and unnecessary vulgarity. She excels at pinning all the things, creating imaginary stories about strangers, and over-dramatizing common problems. She blogs occasionally at polkadottedcats.blogspot.com and shares witticisms via twitter @tiff_gee.
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