{Real Bride: Katie} The Most Controversial Decision of Our Wedding
After we got engaged, I did what any newly engaged girl would do and hit the internet to start obsessing over wedding inspiration boards and details. Immediately, it became clear to my novice eyes that the wedding cake is a big deal.
So, I started collecting inspirational pictures from the interwebs for discussion ad infinitum with my mom, the maid of honor, the mailman, the waitress at Bertucci’s who complimented my ring and so on. I hoped a local bakery would be able to recreate something that resembled one of these astronomically expensive cakes:
Cake-spiration 1: Ron Ben-Israel Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
Cake-spiration 2: Gail Watson Custom Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
Cake-spiration 3: Sylvia Weinstock Cakes
Photo by Antonis Achilleos via www.theknot.com
Cake-spiration 4: Martha Stewart
Photo via www.marthastewart.com
So now I had my folder of inspirational photos, and I just had to find a bakery that could make a budget friendly version of my dream cake. No problem, except….except, I was having a really hard time wrapping my head around the whole idea of the wedding cake. As I mentioned in my last post, we went way overboard with the venue, leaving a very narrow budget for everything else.
Plus I must confess here, among friends, that I don’t really like wedding cake. Actually, I’m not really wild about cake in general….and I’m particularly tepid about ridiculously expensive and slightly stale cake covered with inedible fondant. Also, the thought of putting the brakes on the whole party just so that my groom and I could awkwardly feed each other seemed, well, very awkward.
I realized that I was only interested in picking a cake design because it felt like something I had to do, so the cake hit the wedding chopping block. Since I made the decision to ax the cake, the reactions have been a little extreme. Some people have enthusiastically applauded our money saving decision, while others have nearly started a wedding mutiny. My future brother-in-law was so outraged that he threatened to bring a Little Debbie cake to smash in my face during the reception, and a few friends graciously offered to do a homemade cake for us. For the most part though people just want to know “Aren’t you upset about missing out on that photo opportunity?”
In short, no, no I am not upset about missing the photo op at all. I mean does anyone ever really look cute while eating/smashing cake? How did this even become a tradition?
Good Old Fashioned Cake Smash
Photo by Randy + April Wedding Photography
I know there will be many other memorable moments from our wedding day (our first kiss as Mr. & Mrs. comes to mind immediately), so I’m okay with skipping this one. However, I am a little upset to miss the cake tasting, that part looks fun!
What are you opting to serve for dessert? Just curious
You could still do cake tastings. No one has to know you’re aren’t really having a cake. My mom opted to get a small cake for decoration & then had sheet cakes from Costco in the back that actually were served. But she still went around and tasted cakes. My hubby & I already knew that a friend was doing our cake and we never had time to go for tastings. And honestly, we wish we had gone. It seems like so much fun!
I agree with Hannah! Taste away! You only get to be a bride once (hopefully!) and just because you're opting not to have a cake doesn't mean you should miss out on the cake tasting experience. Just go with your fiance or with a friend taste all the yummy goodness (when it's NOT stale, they serve the super fresh just baked cake at tastings) and then tell the baker than you have to speak with your parents/fiances parents/fiance (if he's not there) about the cost/flavor options/size/etc. before you make a final decision but you will call soon. And always be sure to call and say "I just wanted to let you know we've chosen to go with another vendor, thank you for your time" in about a week. Now, go eat some cake!
lol see there faces
I'm in the same boat, but I (for better or worse) have decided to make my own cupcakes… 140 of them the night before with my bridesmaids. We're also doing a little cutting cake for the top of the cake-shaped tower my future father in law is building. There are tons of non-cake options! Don't feel guilty about it!
Good for you!!! I was abhorrently against the cake smash, as well. But I luuurrrrve cake. So we did cupcakes. And no one really ate them, so we had cupcakes for DAYZ.
And for the record, we didn't do a tasting … because we weren't about to fly to Hawaii just for that.
Cheers to yo bad self!
Stay tuned for more on that later
We thought about that, but I felt sooooo guilty about it. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, but you guys are giving me new courage!
Wow, you are my new hero, I can't wait to hear how it goes! Actually a cupcake party with the bridesmaids does sound kind of fun, but most of my bridesmaids are from out of town and will just barely get there in time for the rehearsal
God, what a horrible suggestion to waste the time of bakers when you have no intention of having a cake. If you're not having a cake, it is selfish and wrong to go round wasting bakers' time, money and ingredients just for the sake of tasting cake. If you're that desperate to taste a cake, make one.
As for the cake smash – I don't get that. We don't do that in Britain at all, thank goodness. It seems extremely tacky.
You're welcome to check out my DIY posts on my blog: http://gardeninggrl.wordpress.com/
I'm not quite on cupcakes yet (the wedding isn't until July), but I made signs this weekend.
I love icing! I could never!!!!
I'm not planning on having an official wedding cake either. I love cake but I hate the way wedding cakes are slathered in far too much icing; I find it far too sweet and cloying, I think it ruins the cake. So I'm thinking about having a cake table with lots of simple homemade cakes instead. Our wedding is going to be vintage based and our reception will probably be in a Victorian village hall, so that will suit our style far more than a posh wedding cake. I'll either draft in friends to make them or find some recipes that can cope with being frozen. Also considering having an afternoon tea party, in which case, they'll serve several varieties of cake.
As a baker, I'd urge you not to go around disingenuously tasting cakes. It's true that it's fun, and of course it's fine to visit a bakery that you're not positive you're going to go with, if you at least THINK you're going to have a cake. But if you know that you're definitely not going to buy anything, anywhere, it's really a waste of somebody's time and resources, and that's just not respectful.
I'm not a big cake fan either, so I respect your decision! Since dessert is my favorite part of a meal, we are going to have cupcakes. We're able to get them at a better cost, and cupcake towers are going to double as our centerpieces!
oooooh homemade cakes would be so much fun! My mom makes this amazing triple chocolate cake that is so good, but she's already so wound up about the wedding that I don't think I could ask her to make cake too. I love the idea of making the cakes ahead of time and freezing them for the big day.
Of course, if I have to keep making test cakes during the next year, I might have trouble with the whole 'fitting into the wedding dress' part
I'm actually planning on making a "display" cake myself from styrofoam covered in fondant and decorated by ME. This way I can do it at least a week ahead of time since no one is going to eat it, it's decorated exactly the way I want it (cakes are my hobby, so I've gotten pretty good at decorating) and it will only be about $50 for the whole thing. Then we can serve sheet cake to the guests and save tons of money
We've gone for cake pops and people aren't happy with that as, even though its cake, its not 'traditional'. In the end we've agreed to let my mum bake us a small cake for those who don't want pops but we ARE NOT doing a cake cutting scene, we are blowing candles out instead, my favourite part of any birthday
I am very strongly against the cake smash! So immature and tacky. We are having a cake but it will not be crazy decorated, just simple and grufal.
but then who knows, maybe your cake would change the minds of even the most stubborn non-cake-buyers
Applause! I am not a big fan of cake, either, and would be happy with a dessert bar, or better yet, having Coolhaus serve their delish ice cream sandwiches at our reception (were it not out of our budget.) My fiancé really wants a cake for the photo op, though. He has compromised on many other ideas I have for our day, so I figured it was my turn to compromise when it comes to cake.
I seriously considered an ice cream sundae bar or truck for a while, but in the end it was just too expensive. Plus I thought it would be too logistically difficult to manage. I'm hoping that I can figure out something for the rehearsal dinner though……
I've never commented on this blog before, and I love the posts. I just have to agree that attending cake tastings "just because you are only a bride once" is a horrible attitude. You think it is ok for those businesses and individuals to waste their skills, time and resources on selfish bridezillas that never intend to purchase from them? No wonder why small businesses can't survive in this wedding crazy economy.
It's called stealing, people, and it's not pretty.
You SHOULD feel guilty about that. How disrespectful to that individual or business. If you want to try different cakes, go to a place that sells individual slices or cupcakes and PAY FOR THEM. Take some friends and share some slices.
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Not to worry, we're still holding steady on our decision to skip the cake tasting. I agree with you completely about supporting small businesses and we're definitely going to try to do that as much as our budget will allow! Now, if I can only talk the maid of honor into a girls weekend with cupcakes…..and maybe a Christian Bale movie or two.
We didn't go the traditional wedding cake route at all. Instead, we did a sort of dessert table. We did have 2 different types of cakes, just normal 2 layer rounds, but we also had a couple different types of pies and an assortment of fancy-ish cookies. We got so many compliments from guests as there was a little something for everyone.
A friend of mine had several homemade cakes instead of one large cake, not because of the cost but because she and her groom had too many cake toppers and couldn't pick (they had so many cute ones!). It was a great reception. I'm going to make my cake (plus a gluten-free additional mini-cake) because I don't like a lot of store bought or even professional cakes, but like my own quite a bit. We're also skipping the smash.
But really, it can be amazing how much opposition you get to what really isn't the biggest part of the wedding. I've never met anyone who ever raved about how delicious the wedding cake was (okay, except the aforementioned friend, and another friend who went with twelve dozen cupcakes with buttercream frosting) – go with what is comfortable for you!
AGREED! I wonder if some of these people listen to themselves: "…just because you're opting not to have a cake doesn't mean you should miss out on the cake tasting experience." Uh, that's EXACTLY what that means! The purpose of a cake tasting is to decide which flavor the wedding cake should be! It is NOT some ritual that actually has anything to do with the wedding. You do NOT have to have a cake – you also do NOT have to have a cake tasting! Get over the hyperreal, people. This is also why most of the bakeries in my town require a deposit to have a cake tasting.
THAT IS AN AMAZING IDEA!!!!! cheap delicious cakes for food and small nasty slightly stale cake and gross fondant for cutting. I think I love your mum Hannah
I found a bakery that does all of their cakes in 7" and 9" rounds, so we're going to get one of each, then get a whole mess of pies. I wanted pies, my fiance wants cake. Pies are actually more suited for outdoor summer weddings. No icing to melt, not as much exposed sugar to attract bugs. Plus, you can serve ice cream on the side and it's fabulous.
We thought about pies for a while, because there is a bakery in Brooklyn that makes the most amazing pie ever! In the end though, simplicity won out and we decided the logistics would just be too complicated
Kind of a bummer though, I had visions of a cute, pie table!