cheap wedding inspiration

The Speed Dating Portion of Your Wedding Reception

Ah, the table visits.  The part where your wedding reception starts to feel like a  round of speed dating.  Visiting every table during dinner service is a great way to be sure to spend a little time with every one of your guests, which is part of the reason table visits have almost universally replaced the receiving line.  But it’s still tricky business: you don’t want to get stuck at any one table for too long, and you want to be sure that you don’t miss your own meal (especially because you’ll most likely be knocking back one or seven…teen drinks that night), but you don’t want your guests to feel like they’re on “The Gong Show” either.

Now, to be fair, I’ve only had to do this one time, so my claims to expertise might be a little undeserved.  But Collin and I ROCKED the table visits.  And we had 30 tables.  Here’s how we did it:

1. Yichud noshing.  It’s a Jewish tradition for the bride and groom to spend a short amount of time (about fifteen minutes) in solitude immediately after the ceremony.  Originally this time was used for consummating the marriage. Awwwww yeah.  The modern/polite approach to yichud is that it lets the bride and groom have a moment of serenity to fully absorb the emotions of their union.  We sort of failed on both counts.  We used our yichud to sign our marriage license, update our Facebook relationship statuses, and CHOW DOWN on the tray of hors d’oeuvres our wedding planner had sent up for us.  It was more than I eat at most meals.  You don’t need a yichud to have an excuse for post-ceremony snack time.  Have your venue set aside some of the passed snacks for the bride and groom, and put it wherever you go to sign your marriage license.
2. Get started as quickly as possible.  After having refueled post-ceremony, you won’t be so eager to wait at your table until the first course is served.  So you can start visiting tables as soon as your guests are seated.  The sooner you start, the sooner you finish!
3. Musical chairs. As awkward as it is to have a series of drive-by conversations with everyone important in your life, you really do need to keep each table visit brief if you want to get them all in.  A good way to keep track of time is to listen for song changes.  Every new song means another three or four minutes have passed.  I’m not saying you should treat a song switch like a speed dating buzzer forcing you to move to the next table, just as a monitor for how long Aunt Louise is droning on about how pretty the flowers are.  Plus, a new song is often a great…
4. Exit strategy.  As in, “Oh, the DJ is playing The Boss.  I gotta go talk to my Jersey Girls!”  Or, “I see Uncle Nick flagging me down!” Or, “Oh, our dinner was just served! I don’t want to let my crab cakes get cold.”  Be ready to abruptly end any conversation that is going on too long.  No one will think you are being rude if you say it with a smile.  You’re the bride, you get a lot of leeway.
5. Don’t say goodbye.  Goodbyes take forever.  This is the beginning of the night.  Most of your guests will track you down before they leave to say goodbye.  It’s easier to cut and run to the next table with a promise to see them later.  “We’ll talk more after the cake cutting!” “We’ll do the twist together later!

Two more vital pointers:

• You still need to eat dinner.  Even with your crucial post-ceremony snack to tide you over, you’re going to want to eat your dinner.  A lot of venues have a designated server for the bride and groom’s table.  Ask him or her to flag you down when your food is served and to not let your plates be cleared if they are untouched.  If you don’t have a designated server, have a bridesmaid keep an eye on your table for you and come get you when it is chow time.
• Have your photographer follow you around.  This is a two birds-one stone strategy.  If your photographer does the table visit circuit with you, you’ll have at least one photo of almost everyone at your wedding.  That way you won’t waste valuable photography hours having the photog make her own table visits when she could be shooting the celebratory hijinx on the dancefloor.

Anyone else have any tips on how to speed through table visits?