Throwing Money At Problems
One of my worst qualities, especially given my broke-assed-ness, is that I tend to throw money at problems. When things aren’t working out, and my stress level is rising, the reach for my wallet is like an involuntary muscle twitch. This would be all fine and well if a) I had money to throw at problems b) throwing money at problems actually made them go away.
[From Images_of_Money on Flickr]
Sure, sometimes it helps, at least with the immediate issue. Like when I found out that the limo I booked to drive my wedding party around on my wedding day was not actually big enough for my wedding party (I’d like to blame this on miscommunication rather than my own failure to be able to accurately count the number of siblings we have, but who knows), dropping more cash to upgrade was the easiest way out of the problem. But as soon as the decision was made, I redirected my stress from “oh crap the limo is too small” to “oh crap the limo is too expensive.” [In the week before your wedding, stress finds a way.]
Sometimes throwing money at the problem will totally fix it, but only a crazy person would actually spend that money. Like when it was crazy hot in our bedroom even though we had the air conditioner on five degrees cooler than we normally allow, and Collin wanted to use the noisy box fan, but the sound of that thing makes my skin crawl and my skull ache, so I suggested in total seriousness we get a hotel room for the night. Collin snapped me out of that one quickly, thank heavens.
And sometimes the money flinging does no good at all. I’m reminded of when I was fighting with my DIY invitation project, and I bought the expensive solvent ink pad, bewildering pricetag be damned, only to discover I am not good enough at stamping to use it. Or when we ran out of medium-sized candles for our medium centerpieces so I bought out the entire stock at our local discount craft store (on clearance so they can’t be returned), only to discover that the reason we were short is they were on back order from the original store I went to and I’d already paid for the additional ones needed. Oops!
Worst of all, throwing money at problems has reprogrammed me to thinking that spending will alleviate stress. I’m basically in in-patient retail therapy at this point. Ulta is liquidating its house-brand makeup? Well of course I will buy 7 eyeliners (one shade for every day of the week?). My bra hook breaks while I’m trying on new swimsuits for the honeymoon (who cares that we’re going to the desert? Honeymoon means new swimsuits, right?), I walk into Vicky’s Secret and buy two fancy schmancy bras for the price I normally spend on a full season’s wardrobe because, well, it’s next door and I know they carry my weird size and I JUST WANT THEM, OK?
This is the part of the post where I’d normally switch gears and start offering advice for how to deal with the problem I’m describing. I WISH I COULD DO THAT! That would make my credit card statement less of a “taking the exam for a class you never knew you were in and also you are naked and your teeth are falling out” nightmare. So I turn to Broke-Ass Nation: are you also guilty of indulging in retail therapy and throwing money at problems? Do you find it helps, hurts, or doesn’t move your stress level? Do you have any secrets for combating these urges you’d like to share with the class? Please, please, tell me you do!
-Robin.
I am definitely guilty of this! I especially do this when things break around the house. The lawnmower is never going to start? Let's buy a new one. The air conditioner probably isn't fixable? Let's put in the new HVAC now and save the repair costs (and energy in-efficient-ness).
My solution is to try to limit what my credit card statement reads. I'm guilty of over-buying groceries because they are on sale. I know what I "should" have on my CC bill, and if I reach 1/2 to 2/3 of it, I really start questioning the things I buy. Good luck!
Freshly off a week of stress and wedding, I can't even tell you how guilty I am. But we managed to keep things in check by only paying on our debit card so I could keep an eagle-eye on our spending. That, and we tend to live like paupers so we could afford stuff like our Hawaii vacation/Wedination. But one thing we definitely did to make a problem go away? On the trip back, so as to avoid any more pain-in-the-assness from the stepmonster, we upgraded to first class (baller? yes. hella expensive? yes. worth it? OMG YES.) and managed to get a bit of shut-eye and added chair space.
I am SO guilty of this! And if you find a cure PLEASE let me kno! haha
i'm definately guilty of trying to find the "quick fix" when things go wrong. we're about 4 months away from the wedding now, and although it seems like everything is smooth sailing right now, i'm the pessimist who knows that at any moment, the dam will break and everything will come flooding in at once. what has been working for the fiance and I has been to switch to an semi-all-cash system – meaning, we still use our debit card which is attached to our checking accounts (we're still seperate in that aspect until after the wedding), but we refuse to purchase anything using credit. that way, if we make a purchase that we regret later, at least we aren't having to regret it over and over again everytime we see that credit card statement and have to pay the interest on it. it hasn't been easy, but its honestly made us appreciate the things we've purchased and done for the wedding.
The way I stopped myself was to get rid of my credit cards, open a savings account attached to my debit account, and sock away $50/paycheck in order to have a safety cushion for any crazy wedding expenses (our date is a year away this week). So far, so good… my mother also talked me into not buying ANYTHING for the house until after the wedding and putting things we need on the registry (cookbooks, kitchen gadgets, new bath towels, linens, etc.). And as much as I really want/need a new duvet, it seems to be helping both my wedding stress (what do you put on a registry?!?) and my bank account.
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I usually throw money at a problem as quick as possible to solve it. I think "I'm stressed out, so it's worth it," and then open my wallet and basically empty its contents down the toilet. Of course, calming me down is priceless, but money often isn't the best way to do it, and usually causes guilt within 24-48 hours. One thing I try to do is get away from the problem and calm down. I have to breathe for a few minutes and remind myself that I am crafty, clever and thrifty, and surely I can use my creativity to solve the problem. There must be a way. Once I question my craftiness, my ego usually sees it as a challenge and then there's no stopping the flow of broke-ass ideas that come my way. I'm not always successful at taking a moment to step away, but each time I give myself a pat on the back and hope its easier next time.
Nothing can cheer me up like a trip to H&M, Old Navy or Sephora. The future husband knows this. And while he doesn't understand, he doesn't scold too much! It's the promise of looking or feeling awesome, by new clothes that fit just right or new make-up, that help – especially when feeling awkward or not good enough (a common though mostly fleeting phenomenon of grad school…)