{Ask Liz} Is the Cost Worth the Money?
Dear Liz:
I’m really getting scared that we’re going to be over our budget, and going to look at rentals last weekend only made it worse. We have to bring everything into our wedding and reception site, from the tables and chairs to the salt shakers. And our original estimate went up because we forgot a bunch of stuff, like our sweetheart’s table and coffee carafes. Our venue is beautiful, and we got it for a really good price, but the rentals are definitely taking up what we’ve saved! We’ve tried to keep everything as basic as possible, no patterned china, off-white linens, but I keep thinking, is all of this really necessary? Like, for instance, the chairs. The rental company recommended that I get two sets, so we wouldn’t have to move them from the ceremony to the reception area, so now we’re paying for 200 chairs instead of 100. Our caterer is bringing four waiters to serve and clean up and one bartender, but couldn’t they move the tables and save us the extra cost of the chairs? We put down a deposit, but they also told us that we have until the week of the wedding to add or take out anything, do you have any suggestions?
Signed,
Sitting it out
Dear Sitting,
Save Time, Add Money? Is there an alternative?
I get it, it’s going to be difficult to get all the chairs transferred over and set up during the hour or less you’re going to have during cocktails, especially since at least half the caterer’s staff is going to be passing hors d’ouerves. REALLY difficult. Here’s an idea: ask your caterer how much it would cost to add two or three more people for the night, and compare that to the cost of the extra set of chairs. If getting more staff is less money, do it. And don’t worry, there will be plenty for them to do afterward. There’s no such thing as too much help at a wedding.
Other ways to cut costs – use your ceremony flowers to decorate your sweethearts table. Instead of renting ceramic containers for sugar and cream, bring in the packets (which you can recycle) or the actual cream and milk cartons in ice. And wood stick stirrers, which you could also recycle. Bring out the coffee around the same time you cut the cake, and it will last until the end of the night. Use one type of glasses for as many different things as possible. A water glass that can also be a bar glass, for instance. Umm…oh, right! And check and see if your rentals can be picked up the next day instead of that same night. In many cases, that will save you some cash right there.
Dear Liz:
We’re from Albany, NY but my daughter is living, and getting married, in Los Angeles. My husband and I are happy to pay for her wedding, but I can’t believe how expensive everything is! The museum she wants to have it at rents for $1,500, and you still have to pay for catering and the cake, and renting the tables and chairs. And that’s not including getting a photographer, flowers, a dress, or any of the other stuff that she’ll need. Here in Albany, you can find a really nice place for $200, with chairs and tables, and catering isn’t nearly as much. Is there any way to negotiate for lower prices, find lower prices, or is this just how it is in L.A.?
Signed,
Willing But Sticker Shocked
Dear Shocked,
Oh, how I wish I had some good news for you, but sadly, yes, this is how we roll out here. Two years ago, the average cost of a wedding in Los Angeles came in at $28,000 and it’s hovering between that and $32, 000 now. Yes, dollars. Compared to the rest of the country, where it averages $20,000. And, the museum rental fee is pretty good, a lot of places like that go for twice, or even five times as much. Who am I kidding? The last museum I had a wedding at rented for $10,000, and you also had to bring everything in, including a kitchen set-up, which added many thousands of dollars. I’ve also coordinated weddings at the museum in question, and your daughter’s wedding, with a little management, could easily come in at $25,000. A little more than Albany’s average, but not horrible. So, what I’m saying is, even though it seems pretty bad, it could be much worse.
But, yeah, it could be better, sure. Some budgets come in above average, others come in below. There are many venues, like hotels and restaurants, that are all inclusive, and could save you some money. But, I have to tell you, there are two things that it’s VERY difficult to change a bride’s mind about once she has it set – the Dress and The Venue. You probably won’t be able to negotiate the price down with the museum, unless you have something really good to offer, like a reality show. But you can try and cut costs where you can. Does she really need a stage for the ceremony? Chiavari chairs? Four passed appetizers? An open bar all night? Just because it’s offered, doesn’t mean you have to take it. And be very clear to her about how much you’re willing to spend. Practice saying, “Are there other options? How much is it without this part?” And, of course, if you need any help, I’m here. 
MUCH, much worse. Seriously.
If it’s any consolation, just 135 miles south of you, in my hometown of New York City, the average cost of a wedding is $50,000. Your daughter could have fallen in love with the Plaza. Things could be worse, I am just saying.
So, what’s given you guys sticker shock as you’ve planned your wedding? What was the one thing you decided to splurge on (and we all decide to splurge on at least one thing) and how did you decide that it was worth it? Share below!
See you at the end of the aisle,
Ahh, getting married in LA. I don't even want to know how much it would cost to get married in my hometown (Jacksonville, FL), or other places in the country…because I know it would make my head spin. If you had asked me before I was engaged, I would have thought that spending $28,000 on a wedding was Absolutely Ludicrous OMG. But now? I realize that no matter what I want to do, spending money to throw the fanciest party I've ever thrown, to invite everyone I love (including those living all over the country), documenting the whole affair, and making it something enjoyable for them (good food, good drinks, etc.)–that's worth it. Completely worth it for me.
(And that money would barely be a drop in the bucket for a down payment on a home out in LA anyway, so that argument is out the window…)
Speaking of reality shows, that would make a good one, where one wedding planner has 20k to plan a wedding in L.A. and the same to plan one in Iowa or wherever and we all get to watch hijinks ensue.
I've looked at 17 total venues in Southern California before finding one that fit my $15K budget – Karl Strauss Brewery Gardens in Sorrento Mesa. It's San Diego, not LA, but I hate LA, so that worked for me! Thanks for the super interesting Q&A – it's one of the most helpful I've read. It's not easy to get a clear picture of prices for an area. I do believe though that with enough searching, you can find a special place for a reasonable price. Granted, it took me SEVENTEEN venues before I found it, and more than a few frustrated tears.
Liz, you have a great idea!
I know, the more I think about it, the more I wish someone would steal it from me.
We have the same chair problem (at our outdoor wedding which will be at our home). Since it's going to be a fairly casual affair (and only about 100 guests), we're making little fan favors and at the bottom asking folks to carry their chairs over to the reception (about 100 yards away). I've also enlisted my two best guy friends to help our grandmothers and more elderly guests. Is it ideal? Not really. But will people prefer the signature drink we can afford by saving that money? I think so!
Same chair issue!! We spoke to our equipment rental company, and they suggested that we only get about 30 chairs for the ceremony area (to make sure all of our elderly guests + immediate family can sit), then let everyone else stand around. granted, we are not having a religious ceremony, so our ceremony won't take very long. I'm not sure this would work so well with a lengthier service.
@Jamie hmm, I’m a little worried about that, especially if you start late. Is there anywhere nearby for people to sit while they’re waiting?
I love Jess' comment! Our daughter is getting married in November and we have the same challenge! Kimra dot Martin @ gmail dot com
Wow Wow Wow!! $200 for a nice venue! What I would do for that! We were thinking that we were getting a steal at $4000 that included tables and chairs! Good Luck planning the wedding 'Sticker Shocked'!
My church provides our venue for free – Calvary Chapel Mid Valley (in Encino). The social hall is tiny – I just went to a wedding last night there, and the bride managed to fit 140 seated guests but it was so cramped!
We are actually just doing a cocktail style reception, so few tables are needed. Then, instead of an awesome rehearsal dinner the night before, we are taking the bridal party/close friends and family to a very nice restaurant after. Saves a ton of money, and we get both the intimate reception we wanted, but everyone we know can see us get married for very little money.
Ha, this makes me giggle. We live in Des Moines, Iowa, but I was born and raised in New England. I'm planning my wedding on Cape Cod and everyone I know here in Des Moines can't believe it when I say "My venue has a $3500 deposit, plus room rental, plus catering….not to mention everything else!" And that was the cheap place! If I were getting married here my engagement would be a lot shorter.
But, it's always been my dream to get married on the Cape, so that's my splurge, I guess. 
Maybe I can be the first on your reality show… plan my Cape Cod wedding and then plan my back-in-Des Moines reception for all the Iowa people who can't make the trip.