On Growing Pains & Leaps of Faith
Hi, my name is Dana and I am constantly fighting against myself to make myself do the things that I fear most.
I have lots o’ friends and family members who go through life avoiding things that scare them – or worse – are paralyzed by their fears and thus only fulfill a small portion of their potential, because they’d prefer to not try, rather than try and risk failure. That is, to me, a fate worse than death.
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Now I’m not saying its easy. Oh no no no, not at all, young grasshopper. Sometimes, it takes me years of stutter-starts, excuses, or just plain old hiding out before I build up the gumption to fight through a fear. In truth, there are some fears I wonder if I’ll ever fully conquer. But part of my personal mission is to constantly evaluate what’s holding me back, and to find actionable ways to vanquish the beast. It keeps me from sinking into passive mediocrity. It keeps me growing and evolving.
Two years ago, Hunter, I and our bestie Nick began dreaming up a TV show, and started slowly writing, sketching it out and building out the world of the story. It was casual and organic, and since the show is kind of clearly about us, we got to poke a lot of fun at ourselves along the way. We had a great time. It came very easily.
Nick has worked in television for the past 5 years, under the tutelage of one of the sitcom world’s most profound directors on the sets of tons of great sitcom shows. He’s also just about the most likeable guy on the planet. So, when we started bandying about the idea of shooting the script ourselves, his coworkers and cast members generously and eagerly offered their assistance to help Nick make his (and our) dreams come true.
So, here we are today, a month away from shooting our first scene of our pilot episode, leading a team of Hollywood veterans whose resumes boast such titles as Cheers, Will & Grace, The Sopranos, Gary UnMarried and more. And we’re four days away from a giant fundraising party to help make it all possible. And we’re learning how to do it all as we go along.
So, as you can imagine, its a bit overwhelming, totally scary, and a whole lotta awesome.
Mostly, I’m just fighting through the fear. Focusing on the positive. Making myself do the things that are most uncomfortable and foreign because it strengthens me as an artist and businessperson, and I’m learning a LOT along the way.
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It’s just like planning a wedding. It’s not something most brides have experience in doing before they’re thrown into the fire. There are elements that are scary and feel near-impossible (negotiating with vendors and in-laws, anyone?). You worry about money, and timing, and details and the big picture. You worry about the “mights” and “what if’s”, and at times you just want to throw in the towel and run off to elope, because your To Do list is multiplying in its sleep, and you can’t imagine a world in which you can possibly pull all this off and still have the strength to walk down the aisle when the big day finally comes….
…But somehow, it happens. Things fall into place. You force your way through the fear and trepidation, the moments of paralysis and bi-weekly weepy meltdowns. You lean on your team for help. You learn how to do things you never imagined yourself being good at, and surprise yourself when you realize that not only are you pretty good at it, but you actually kind of enjoy it. And at the end of the day (or planning period), you reap the benefits of plowing through your fears, and growing through your pains, by sharing in the creation of something spectacular with the people that you love the most.
This is what I mean when I talk about how wedding planning can be a launchpad for your life. Having been through the fire, and with the hindsight the past two years since, I am continually amazed by how much the process of our wedding planning has informed the kind of artist and businesswoman that I am, and shaped the way I approach my future. Not without fear, but through fear. And it makes me feel pretty bad-ass, I gotsta say.
So, yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot, over the past few weeks, how grateful I am for having planned our own wedding and for this blog as a space to explore what that means to me. I have shifted and grown more in the past three years than in most of my previous years, because of those things. I’ve learned to turn a “what if I fail” mindset into a “what if I succeed” mantra. And here I am today, making a television show with my friends and the trust of industry pros. I’m not gonna lie. That makes me feel pretty darn fancy and seriously proud.
Has planning your wedding helped you grow in ways you never imagined before? I’d love to know how!
That is fantastic! Congratulations y'all!
Blogging about wedding planning has given me such a wonderful outlet for writing! It helps me stay focused, and has given me a mission to make the blog good and to get it noticed! I could only hope that it works as a springboard for me because being a writer has always been my dream.
Congratulations! And incredibly well written, by the way. Proud of you and your crew, that's totally rad.
It's like you're inside my brain with this post. I've been mulling over fears and knowing that, when I'm scared is the time I need to push forward the most. And I've been really valuing my wedding planning experience and blog. They help me believe in myself again, after pushing through all those fears and just making things happen. Amazing insight and bravery and I love everything you said here. And I can't wait to support you at Thursday's pilot party and beyond. You're earning it all.
That's so great!
I'm just at the beginning of planning, but already I can see how it's going to require a lot of me to overcome some things…
Thank you so much needed this as I have already had the few melt downs and in talking with another girlfriend who is in the same boat as me it is nice to know it is normal hahha