{Down the Rabbit Hole} My Invitations Go From Save to Splurge
The original title of this post was “My Wedding Invitations: A Horrifying Accounting”, but when I started adding everything up I went past a very scary number (it starts with 5 and rhymes with “fun dread”). I immediately closed my spreadsheet with horror and washed my hands and brushed my teeth.
I spent HOW MUCH on invitations? WHO AM I?
I thought I was a budget-savvy practical bride, playing left tackle for Team Wedding Sanity. Wasn’t invitations on the lowest extreme of our budget priority list? How did this happen?
Well, friends, I went down the wedding rabbit hole, and wedding paper got the best of me.
I remember when I’d read other engaged people express their “love” for paper goods, and snicker. Really. Who loves paper? There is a reason that The Office is set at a paper company: because paper is so boring it is funny.
But as you all know, getting married brings on a whole mess of nonsense. Everything that isn’t important is, and contrary-wise, everything that is important isn’t. In Wedding Wonderland, your color scheme becomes as vital to your identity as your spiritual beliefs. The debate over fondant vs. buttercream rages like we’re talking about evolution vs. creationism. Even for people like me who are not having a cake! [For the record: I am a fondant apologist. This is part of the reason we are not having a cake.] And paper somehow becomes something to love and spend hundreds of dollars on.
So I went down the rabbit hole to Wedding Wonderland and I spent way too much money on my invitations.
I caved to my inner four-year-old and bought those pocket envelopes. I couldn’t resist shimmery metallic paper because my wedding colors are mixed metals. I bought a freaking $20 embossing gun and four different kinds of embossing powder until I found an acceptable shade of copper (I had some scary run-ins with my nemesis glitter in this hunt). And so. many. stamps. in search of the “right” swirly flourishes. As though swirly flourishes can be wrong.
I made expensive mistakes. Even though I ordered samples and made a mock-up invitation that satisfied me at the time, after I’d already ordered and cut my card stock I decided I absolutely could not abide using that color for the invitation backing. So I ordered a different color card stock and ate the $30. The first return address stamp I bought was too small for its print to be reliably legible. I had nightmares of my RSVPs all getting lost in the mail, so I ordered a new, bigger (and more expensive) address stamp. With rush shipping. I threw so much money down the rabbit hole at these invitations the Mad Hatter and the March Hare are constantly making it rain.
Was it worth it? Well, my invitations still aren’t in the mail, so I can’t show them to you yet. I think they are lovely, but honestly? I’d rather have something a few hundred dollars less lovely.
So learn from my mistake, freshly-engaged broke-asses. Sometimes things you think you don’t care about and will be able to save tons of money on somehow weasel their way into the splurge category. Plan accordingly with budget buffer. Or, you know, have a stronger constitution than I do so you don’t get caught up in wedding nonsense.
Have you found yourself caring (and spending) more than you ever would have expected on something for your wedding? How did you save your budget from spiraling into nonsense?
-Robin.
I can so relate to this. Ugh. The nasty surprises. While I managed to keep my DIY invitations under control, there was one thing that I thought "psh, I can keep THAT expense down, no prob. No fancy taste have I!"
The Dress.
Not that astounding, perhaps, but I knew I could find a dress for less than $200 that would look great on me and I could wear again.
Then I realized a designer friend of mine could make it. And I told myself it was worth abandoning the $200 idea to support a fledgling business.
Then I miscommunicated my vision so badly, I hated the outcome, even after multiple fittings.
Then I started ordering dresses left and right, even if I wasn't sure I liked how they looked online. Even when sending them back, there's the cost of shipping or gas money that never gets returned to you.
And now the original dress is with aNOTHer seamstress to try something drastic that may or may not work out but will assuredly cost me another $100.
As much as I detest David's Bridal for its service, you may find me in there yet in search of my original $200 dress which will not reflect that ghastly amount I've spent so far.
Sigh. How did this happen?
It's so easy to get carried away, and funny how you feel like if something isn't right (your stamp flourishes, for example), you'll remember it forever.
I just got paper samples in the mail for the printer I'm likely using (their paper is great!) and I'm trying to tamp down my getting-carried-away-ness.
This is actually why I broke down and went commercial for my invites. My sister and I had our DIY plan all set, and I imagined all of the mistakes, retries, and give-ups costing us more than I ever would've paid from a printer. Would invites have been a bit more "us" through hand stamping and hours of labor (and probably tears)? Sure. But, I'll most likely be the only one to notice, and my fiance won't have to console me after a long night of smudged ink.
Dear B.A.B.,
I love this post!. the thing about all of this wedding stuff….the day after the wedding you really won't care. I am a floral designer for many years and I have seen families spend , quite literally, a small fortune on weddings. At the end of the day, unless you are marring the future King of England, so much of the stuff simply doesn't matter.Invitations definitely set the mood as do many pieces of the wedding. I like the approach of picking ONE THING that you must have and being extremely flexible with the rest. Use all of your energy on you and your spouse getting to really know each other. If you feel compelled to spend money, go find someone who can help you really understand what getting married is all about (It ain't the invitations, the dress or the flowers I PROMISE). That investment is the one that you will always remember!
Best wishes to all the soon to be brides. Step back, take a deep breath and enjoy yourself…even if your invitations are white instead of ecru!
No lie, invitations are expensive, not just in money, but in time, too. All I can say is figure out what the easiest way is to get done what you need to get done and do that. And buy extra printer ink.
Oh yeah – so been there. After taking soooo long to DIY a milestone birthday invite, that I had to call all my guests…and many good friends simply got them so late, they could not make it. lesson learned. I knew I absolutely.could.not. DIY the wedding invites. So I just had the graphic designer do it all exactly to my specifications. Turned out great, slightly more that I wanted to spend, but no where near the cost of the coverted Vera Wang I really wanted.
I did, however, DIY accent pillows for the lounge area of the reception. (WTF?????) to. save .$$.
Oh, I was so hand sewing them shut the night before the wedding! I did save some $, but of course, fell in love with some very pricey fabric. Cha-ching. Another $100 I did NOT need to spend.
They were gorgeous though……
Yeah this is so me. I have got every stamp, the pocketfold (but those were 20% off), and I just bought the embossing gun as well (but that was with a GC so it's okay right?). Then I got a wedding invitation in the mail that used an inexpensive kit from Wilton. It's so darling.
this is a true example of how seriously crazy people can go when searching for 'perfection'!! we so need to stop striving for that in our wedding day…it will be beautiful…but there really is no such thing as perfect…we need to stop & chillax and PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE!!!!
i gave my designer friend free reign on our wedding invites…i had zero specifications / requirements…they turned out to be beyond awesome…i was in love with them hehe!!!
we just need to choose wedding elements / things we love…that way we will be true to ourselves & stop the stress and striving for perfection. because if it is what we like, it will be enough…and it will be beautiful.
Ohhhh yeah. Wedding brain is nuts. Each thing seems so tiny: "I'll just buy a board game we love!" "Our friends would love to play with a three man slingshot!" "Hmm, water balloons could be fun!" and before you know it your entertainment budget is no longer a budget.
The curse of being a crafty/DIY bride. You think you are spending money, but then realize that all the stress and time maybe wasn't worth the money you did or didn't save …. I have so been there. I'm glad I listened to the fiance every now and then and just went ahead and spent the money to have the professionals help me.
This is why we are using a Living Social coupon for Vista Print… 100 invitations – about $16!!
But I am going a little overboard with handmade coffee filter flowers that will be strung across the whole fellowship hall for the reception…
In the words of Alice, "Please, no more nonsense." That's my attitude toward the whole wedding and I'm keeping it. Yes, it's easy to go overboard, but I always try to remember that most of this stuff will end up in the trash can, on a shelf, or in a closet. Keep perspective! Thank you for the cautionary tale of DIY invites though. I'm hoping not to have a similar story with my DIY guest sign-in book, but we'll see… my vision for it is great. I might break the bank on really cute wood block stamps though.
Totally used Living Social for Vistaprint (deal was $10 for $50 worth), the Wedding Channel has one today only that is $50 for $130 worth of invitations…our STD's from Vistaprint were great, and cost us $14 after the LS deal, sooo we're using the Wedding Channel one for the ceremony and reception card invites…total, $74 spent for 100 STD's, 150 invites and 150 RSVP cards on excellent card stock and beautiful envelopes!
I know how this goes! You think, “oh I can do this even though my biggest craft project to date was painting my walls!” And then there’s glitter and wax that was supposed to be that awesome wax seal and you’ve sunk more money into it than paper deserves. Then the day after the wedding you realize what madness it all was.
probably shoes. and my "expense" wasn't in $$ is was in time…. I swear I spent an obsessively long time over months looking online for the "perfect" pair. So silly since they'll be under my dress and rarely seen for the entire occasion. Ends up after I exhausted every site in the world (or so it seemed), I went to Macy's and fell in love with a pair they don't offer online .
Gotta' love the irony in that.
This was SO helpful to read! I was planning to do DIY invites, but it might end up being more expensive than I planned. There are parts of me that really wish I could send e-vites to everyone, but…. I love paper! (That's not wedding-related insanity though…. I've always had a deep love of paper products, haha). In the end…. the invite gets thrown in the trash, so…. that's my mantra. "People are going to throw this away…." and that helps me realize that spending exorbitant money on paper just to have people throw it away is…. silly.
I am a crafty person, so not only have I decided to DIY the invitations and STDs, I am also doing the centerpieces, my bouquet and headpiece, and dress (gasp!). And did I mention that the time from engagement to aisle is almost exactly 8 months? Thank goodness I am fairly simple. We are having the ceremony at the local renaissance festival (super steal at $100!), so we (bridal party and officiant) have to be in costume and I want things to all follow that theme. So of course, since a renaissance wedding is no longer traditional (not for the past couple of centries, at least!
), why not make it all myself? I am taking my time and not stressing out about any of it. I have learned that I have to put my crafting perfectionism aside for the craft projects and keep it simple! I am definintely working on a tight budget and am actually coming in underbudget at the moment (*knocks on wood*). A DIY broke-ass bride can do it, as long as you stay calm and remember that no one knows about those imperfections except you! Craft on! <3
So, I know that this is a few months late, but I see all of these people spending more on wedding invitations than I do on groceries for a family of 4 for 2 weeks and it drives me crazy. I know everyone wants that perfect day, but being a realist I also know that maybe 5 of the people invited will actually keep this piece of paper for more than a day after the ceremony.
I've been married for 10 years in Nov and hubby wants to have a renewal ceremony, so we're doing a very small and intimate ceremony with about 25 people and just having some food and music after. I went to Michael's crafts and got 2 packages of "Brides" invites for $3 each. They aren't ugly, just simple and perfect for our occasion. If you have a chance to shop around, you can spend less than $50 on the invitations and RSVP cards. I went with dark red cardstock and a rubber stamp that has a willow tree blowing in the wind with a copper pigment pad. All in all, the invites with envelopes, cardstock, stamp and pad along with embellishments for them cost me a grand total of $14.63 for 30 of everything.
I just can't justify spending more than that on paper goods, no matter how gorgeous they are. (And this comes from a women with a life long obsession and addiction to school, office, and writing supplies.)
I'd been planning to do e-vites instead of real paper invitations, but I had doubts. Is that tacky or something? I wasn't sure. So at some point–was it here?–I read about getting invitations through Costco, and I looked, and I said, "oh hey those are cute and way less expensive than most places." So I went to one of the cheaper invites on the Costco site, added up 100 of everything, and…it came to well over $1000. And that's when I said to myself: "Rachael, do you REALLY want to spend $1000 on pieces of paper that people will only use to remind them what date they have to be here? No." I immediately stopped doubting my e-vites plan. I'm pretty sure all my guests will have email.
I always knew the invitations would be my one "big" item. Now that my fiance and I are currently planning our wedding, I could care less about what dress I end up wearing, but there's a huge part of me that *has* to have letterpress invites with the names and addresses in calligraphy. That's what I get for working in an upscale stationery store throughout college. I know most people will through them away and also know that I am the exception to the rule, but I have saved every single wedding invitation I have ever received (some programs, too). Then again, I still have notes friends wrote me in the second grade and I'm 31…