Must-Have Wedding Shot List for Jerks
My friend and wedding photographer Louis often calls us “jerks” when we act as his models. I don’t really know why, it’s one of his charming quirks. He says it with love.
But when he takes my wedding photos, Louis is going to find out just exactly how much of a jerk I am.
Because I am going to waste a bunch of valuable photo taking-time with in-jokes that have no chance of being funny to anyone who hasn’t spent 18 months consuming too much wedding media, and little chance of being funny to even that strange little subset of people.
I want photos like this, only shot well:
My pajamas, on a satin hanger, in front of a mirror.
So here’s my work-in-progress list of Must-Have wedding shots for jerks:
- A getting-ready photo where I’m inelegantly picking my teeth or fixing a catastrophic eyeliner flub.
- A picture of the bridal party crouching, because I think that’s the opposite of jumping.
- A macro-focus shot of our rings, but instead of putting them on a relevant bible verse, I want to put them on the dictionary definition of awesome.
- A photo of my hands serenely cupped in front of my stomach, but holding my credit card instead of a flower or a bridal peach or whatever.
- A picture of us stiffly standing next to each other with our clothes hiked up so you can see our bare feet.
- A photo of us cutting a doughnut or a cookie like it requires the full attention and combined strength of two people.
- A picture of Collin standing on an apple box so he can lean down to kiss the top of my head.
- Actually, I want him to lean down to bite the top of my head.
Can you think of any other wedding photo clichés we can send up?
-Robin
This post is amazing. Here are my suggestions:
-a close up of dirty dishes/used napkins/crumpled wrappers of the tables/place settings
-a shot of the (only works if it's unattractive) old car/public transportation/bike you and the Mr. will be leaving on.
-picture of you scolding a guest/flower girl/attendant instead of smiling or laughing at them.
-picture of ungracefully getting into your gown/adjusting your 'bits' in the gown.
-a photo of your shapewear, spanks, hose or whatever on a hanger in a doorway.
-shot of guests looking at watches/the sun waiting for the ceremony in annoyance.
-a picture of the actual shoes you will be wearing when dancing/at the reception instead of those beautiful monsters you are obligated to buy.
I'll try to think of more!
I should say, my guy and I are doing a similar thing. Too awesome.
I'm not sure how you could twist it, but I am so tired of all the pictures of the groomsmen with their pants hiked up, showing goofy socks or converse shoes. Maybe it was cute for the first person who did it, but now it just seems cheesy! *thinking* Maybe if you could all the groomsmen in fishnets instead for the photo? Ha!
I'm not sure how you could twist it, but I'm so tired of all the photos of the groomsmen with their pants hiked up, showing goofy socks or converse shoes. Hmm… maybe if you could get them in fishnets instead? Ha!
new reader but one I did and love to this day (which happens to be our 3rd anniversary) is both of you standing on oppsite sides of a door holding hands..camera sees yoy both but you don’t see each other
One of my favorite "before the wedding" shots that I saw from a friends wedding was the bride and her bridesmaids, sitting around a poker table, all decked out, and chomping on cigars and playing poker and in the middle of the table, instead of chips you see a tiara, some stilletto heels, and blinged out jewelry. The guys in turn, had a little photo moment showing them all getting manicures and pedicures. For the couple in question, it was the perfect set up.
This is great! I love your ideas! (REALLY!) I'm going to send them to my photographer. She'll love it
I must must must do that ring shot on the "awesome" definition.
you are hilarious. and i love it.
my shot list for jerks included this: "groom takes off garter and is shocked to see a flask attached to it"
LMAO
That's all I have to say.
a picture of all of your bridesmaids' feet in really old shoes, without any pedicures.
There are so many shots that you need it is hard to create a cohesive list – but in addition to the must have group shots- make a list of fun shots- those will be the ones you truly cherish
Condoms. Anything with condoms.
Love this!!!!!
I have only one word: Brilliant.
Louis here – the one mentioned in this post. Let me say first foremost (and this is my only defense) Robin & Colin are JERKS. The fact that they are two of the most awesome jerks I personally have the pleasure to know factors little into the equation. They are wombats; so I calls it like it is.
How, exactly, will I explain to the other guests that I’m absconding with entire wedding party to shoot a “band photo”? Or, that it is perfectly permissible given Robin’s feminist proclivities that I do a forced-prospective shot so that it looks like a giant Robin is holding a diminutive Collin in the palm of her hand? I can only assure you that such explanations were never covered in my studies of flash-to-subject ratio formulas.
At any rate; I’m taking all the suggestions here under the most serious of considerations. Best one(s) will probably be forced, kicking and screaming, from the ethereal realm of the interwebs and into the world of the real. So stay tuned.
In the meantime, check out my blog http://loustein.blogspot.com
(yes, that was a shameless plug)
-L
I am stealing the rings and dictionary shot! I love it! We are indeed awesome!!!!
Wow, this is really interesting!
How about– a photo of him dragging you by the hair down a hall way. Or what looks like the two of you gazing into each others eye, is really you gazing over each other shoulders at your phones.
Hope I'm not too late!
How about a photo of the two of you giving everyone "the finger" except it'll be the ring finger. With your faces all mean looking and giving the finger
ooh, how about a photo that's all colour except that the bouquet's in black and white??
and there's always one where all the groomsmen are jumping except the best man or groom who's pinching the bridge of his nose…
now how could you set up a shot where you FAIL to find a beautiful vintage couch in the middle of a field or on a beach? Maybe you find it, but it's a dolls' couch 4 inches high? Or it's shabby and collapses when you sit on it?