cheap wedding inspiration

{Tip} Accept Audience Participation

I think the most debilitating thing I’ve taken to doing in this wedding process is a knee-jerk response to offers of help with, “Aw, thanks, but… it’s OK! I’ve got it!” Don’t get me wrong; I’m fully aware that I’m a total control freak, and that everyone expected me to be like this. I’m not rocking anyone’s world when I claim to have it all under control.

And for the most part, I’m being honest. I love making my paper flowers because, at the very least… I can control those. All the variables. The colors. The fluffiness. The adhesives. Everything. In a crazy world where there are a billion variables, I love that I can go into my studio with confidence that I can create exactly what I set out to produce. And, most importantly, I can control, almost to the cent, what everything ends up costing us. If it’s too much, I simply pare it down or find a way to make it happen for less.

But. There are so many things that are beyond my control, so many things that dance just outside the grasp of my power. The weather, for example. And whether or not my sister can resist the open bar. When it came to putting together the invitations I found myself at the mercy of The Market, which has succumbed to what I have called “Birds Kissing” syndrome.

Now. If you have birds kissing as any part of your motif, please don’t take offense to the affectionate moniker I came up with. You have to understand that I think kissing birds are quite adorable. Too adorable for The Groom and I, who are, admittedly, messes. We’re far too discombobulated and quirky for a clean, elegant invitation. Or a sweet, affectionate invitation. We… are goofballs. I needed a missive to send to our families that was as left-of-center as we tend to be.

Happily, The Groom works for Marvel, and we’re fortunate enough to boast a lot of talent in our pool of friends. There’s also a lot of generosity. But really, this is about the talent. The sheer, awesome, jaw-dropping talent. One of our friends, Dennis Calero, also happens to be one of those jaw-droppingly-talented human beings, and when he heard my plight with the “Kissing Birds” syndrome, he offered to draw our invitation for us.

Half of the women out there are cheering, because, duh. It’s an absolutely amazing offer– kind, generous and exceptionally personalized. But. I’m a control freak. So instead of jumping right into my happy-dance, I paused for a moment to contemplate letting someone else take on a project as big as The Invitations.

The Groom and I talked it over and finally, the voice of reason broke through. It sounded a lot like my future husband, and the comic-nerd in me, both really, really excited that Dennis had even offered. I never had a single doubt about wanting Dennis as our artist. I had doubts about my ability to release the death-grip I had around the neck of my wedding.

This is the {horrible} sketch I sent to Dennis to give him an idea of what we were looking for.

This is the gorgeous artwork that Dennis put together for us. The man is truly a master.

And this is the beautful back-of-the-invite art that he drew. He drew that! With his hands and his brain and his talent! {I’ve removed text because there are too many names and addresses to make blurring things out look “nice”}.

After we worked out all the details with Dennis {who can be found on Twitter here}, I stood there for a moment, blinking at the newfound rush of adrenaline I felt. I let someone help me. Maybe… maybe I could let two people help me. I booked another friend of ours– Ella Romero– to cartoon our RSVP cards. The freedom. It was intoxicating.

And you know what? Here’s my tip for you: DO IT. Release the reigns, just a little, and let someone else take care of things for you. Take a look at your family, at your friends. What talents do they have? What do they enjoy doing? How are they trying to contribute to your big day?

Ask yourself: Where can you let people help you? Then give yourself an honest answer.

There are things that I’m never going to let anyone else touch. Those paper flowers? They shall be my immortal wedding legacy. I will guard them, and defend them as my own in the way any woman would for the one thing that’s keeping her sane (because, some days, that’s what they are).

And yes, keep the things for yourself that will keep you sane. Because you’ll need them. Why? you ask. I’ll tell you why. Even with all the meticulous planning, something, somewhere along the line… will “go wrong.” When I acquiesced to The Groom and let him get postage for the invites, and he came home with liberty bell stamps… It took a spike in my blood pressure and a couple deep breaths before I realized it wasn’t something that was really worth fighting about. People throw the envelopes to the invitations away. It was fine, everything was fine, the world was not ending and the wedding could go on. But you know what? I felt a lot better about the stamps after I sat and focused on a couple dozen paper flowers.

All of this goes to say that the past two weeks, getting the invitations designed and printed and assembled has been a lesson in calming down and letting things go. It’s been exceedingly good for me– both as a bride and as a human being. And look at how beautiful and personalized our invitations are! I couldn’t have found invites better suited for The Groom and I had I been willing or able to spend thousands of dollars.

Don’t be afraid to let your talented friends and family members contribute to your Big Day if it’ll make life easier for you. Don’t forget… we’re all in this together.

-MM.