A Love Letter To the Newbie Brides
Dear Newbie Bride:
Pretty and Yummy.
Let me be the 50th person to congratulate you on your engagement. Welcome to Wedding World!
You’re going to love it.
First of all, at the end of all this, you’re going to be married to the love of your life. That’s cool. Second of all, Wedding World is very, very pretty, so you’ll have a lot of neat stuff to look at for the next few months. Third of all, you are going to learn so much. Not just about weddings, but about yourself, your relationship with the love of your life, and more importantly, about what you do and do not want, in general.
Here’s a hint: Just like in life, you can have pretty much whatever you want at your wedding, using whatever it is that you already have. Yes, I’m talking about money, but I’m also talking about personal skills and resources, and time. Time is very important in wedding world – you have plenty of it. Even if you don’t think you do, you do.
Ah, yes, money. Things can get kind of expensive in Wedding World. This can be daunting for those of who can’t spend untold thousands of dollars on one day. If you can’t afford it, then don’t spend it. Bottom line. REFUSE to spend it, and find alternatives that works. This is why God made etsy. And ebay. And craigslist, even. And the internet in general, including this site, where at any time you can pop in and ask any of us a question. I LIVE for wedding planning questions. Literally. Don’t give up. Giving up is stupid.
The End of the Aisle...
Will it be stressful? Well, of course. Yes, at some point, you’re going to want to run screaming away from everything. So, take a break, and run away. Your wedding will still be there when you return. Step back and remember what’s at the end of the aisle: Married to the love of your life, surrounded by your favorite people, eating cake, all while wearing a beautiful dress. When it’s over, you’re going to say to yourself, “wow, that went by really fast”, and it will. Enjoy it as much as you can, even if that means occasionally not dealing with it at all.
Did I mention all the pretty? Yes? Good. Did I mention how much fun you’re going to have? You are going to have such a good time. You are going to try on gorgeous dresses, and you’re going to have that Christmas Morning Moment when you see yourself in THE dress. You’re going to taste really good cake. You are going to laugh with the love of your life, and with your bridesmaids, and with your PHOTOGRAPHER even, over some inside joke, or something hilariously freaking funny/stupid thing one of you did or said. You will laugh about these for the rest of your life. On your wedding day, you will be surrounded by everyone you love and everyone who loves you. Your favorite music will be playing, your favorite foods will be served, and I’m not exactly sure what else you’ll need to have a great time. It’s all there for you.
And at the end of that aisle, you will have accomplished so much more than you ever thought you were capable of. You are going to feel like a Superstar. And you’re right. You are.
If you weren’t able to tell, I’m very excited for you. And I can’t wait to hear all about it.
So, Newbie brides, how’s it going? What’s the most fun moment you’ve had so far? And Old Timers, yeah, You – any more advice for the new girls? Give it to them in the comments below!
See you at the end of the aisle,
Well, I am a graphic designer so a few fun parts of this process for me have been figuring out how I can show off my creativity through invitations, save the dates, etc. (I didn't really need to do save the dates but I did them anyways because I thought it would be exciting…and you only do it once!)
Last night I even did the Stag tickets for my Fiancé's stag. At least I got to put my own spin on it!!
I pln to have fun with all the little details..as long as I don't run out of that thing you refer to…Time!!
Can you really handle advice from an Old Timer? I've been married to the same man for 25 years this year. We had a church ceremony, 60 guests, and melded two exceptionally large families with equally large personalities. But since you asked, here goes:
-More has never equated to better. Think of a wedding like perfume; do you spritz, or bathe in it?
-In 25 years, will you look back and be happy, or still trying to pay of the Wedding of the Centry?
-Finding the Right Mate should have been the hard part. Who do you wake up next to, the Groom or the Florist?
Continuing–
-If you let well meaning Family and Friends dictate everything now, what will they have later on? (I'm being sarcastic, but you should know that if you let them push now, they push more/harder later.)
-Unless you're part of the Hollywood gliterati, where every move is filmed, critiqued and disected for the Evening News, I'm pretty sure whatever you decide to do is fine with a Capital F.
—I guess my point is this: Women have planned their weddings since they played with Barbie Dolls, but did they put money away for it when they were signing up for their 401K accounts? It is, above all else, a choice. And any time you can say no to something, feel good about it.
Oh man … I just realized the other day that we have less than six months left … after a year and a half of planning already. I had a mini panic attack … until I realized that most everything is done. I stood and looked at the items we've accumulated in a corner of our apartment known as Wedding Land (the sacred area no one shall mess with, unless they wish to incur the wrath of moi) and felt more than a twinge of satisfaction. It looks like a random hodge-podge of stuff, but most of it's there. His mom is doing quite a bit, so everything else is with her in Australia. I reminded myself that nothing has cost us more than $100, save the food, bar, hotel, plane tickets. Not even my dress. And that made me smile. It's not an inexpensive wedding, but it's not an extravagant wedding. It's a wedding that makes sense and is fun for US. It's a vacation, family reunion, wedding … all rolled into one. And it's going to ROCK.
I'm 7 months away, and I feel like I have tons of time. But I hate that every vendor I speak with is like, "Oh my God, that's coming up!" or "You're getting to us in the nick of time!" or "Yeah, you should've already ordered your dress." Seriously? People, relax. I am not freaking out just because you're putting your time stress on me.
This made me tear up a little bit, so sweet! It also made me feel a little better, so thank you. I got engaged 2 weeks ago, want to do the wedding in September this year, so am already freaking.out a little bit about my short timeline and the myriad details I haven't even thought of yet.
Oops, it cut off the end of my comment–also wanted to say I'm sure I'll be back with all my 10,000 questions, I got a link to this site the day after I got engaged and have been loving it!
Wedding venue, catering if you need it, photographer, since those are the most expensive wedding things, and the things that will set the tone of your event. Then you can start trying on dresses. You can start looking at dresses now, though.
Most fun? Putting on my leopard print shoes with my tea length wedding dress! The comments I received were awesome. Specially when I heard one mother tell her daughter "no, you will NOT be wearing shoes like that at YOUR wedding!"
This was very sweet!
I have been a bit stressed with getting in engaged in November 2010 and not having anything planned for a wedding in May of this year! AHH. But this made me turn around and see why I am getting married in the first place…because I found the love of my life! 
Thank you!
Lovely post! As a 6-months married "old timer," I love the way you captured the joy and the reality of the day. Yep, it's stressful, but it's a day full of your very favorite things (hopefully!). My advice (as read here, on A Practical Wedding and The Offbeat Bride): pick the things you actually care about, get them settled first, and let the rest of the to-dos fall in as they will. For me, I couldn't concentrate on the fun stuff until we booked the venue, photographer and caterer. I was obsessed with a fun place (for me, the Aerospace Museum of California), an AMAZING photographer (Beth Baugher of True Love Photo) and the best BBQ in the west (Roy's in Sacramento). All of the other details fell into place as the months ticked by. Of course, it goes without saying that I already had the best fiance ever… even if all my plans disappeared, I knew we'd still be saying I-do somehow. Ahhh, mem-ries! Happy planning ladies!
The cake picture gave me a great idea for our wedding! Thanks
As a 1.5 year "old timer" My greatest $$ saving tip would *have* to be the dress! If you find one you adore that's out of your budget, find a tailor on the internet (because they're usually located overseas and therefore lots cheaper) and email them every photo you can find of the dress. BE WARNED: this wont work if the things you adore about the dress are all the little details. Those have the possibility of getting overlooked. And also, be sure to have a seamstress/tailor on hand that can fix any minor "issues" you might encounter. My "issue" was the jacket they sent was about 30 sizes too big and looked like it had been made by Omar the tent maker!
My mother to the rescue, refashioned the jacket, added a MAGNIFICENT ruffle, aaaand even added some charming beading to it for me!! My heart was set on a Jasmine Couture dress that was $6000 (1.5 times our *overall* wedding budget of $4000) and I got it made + shipped for $290 total!! Dana, would you like to calculate that savings?
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