Flab to Fab v2.0: Losing the Newlywed Nasty
….not to be confused with doing the newlywed nasty. Though that might help with my flab issue 
Hokay. I just got back from sticking my ego wayyyy far back in my underwear drawer so I could come write this post.
So, where to start? Um. I lost nearly 20lbs before my wedding, with a goal looking good in my dress (‘cuz, let’s be real) but also of confronting my congenital urges to overindulge and overeat, while slowly worming my way free of the long-worn cloak of laziness. It was my millionth effort to nurture a lifestyle change toward wellness, and leave behind the repetitive yo-yo pattern that I’ve battled since graduate school (when I was last in “the best shape of my life”). And the vainer purpose of my fitness worked. I look back at my wedding pictures and think, “For once, I am proud of the way I look. I felt so good that day. From head to toe”.
Thin-spiration.
But then I was married. Sprained my ankle at my wedding. Got 2 more (my 8th & 9th) implants in my eye. Had an alien baby removed from my foot. Worked two full-time jobs. One for the man. One for myself you.
I couldn’t exercise. I felt spitefully entitled to eat. Maybe I was hungry. Probably I wasn’t. OK, acutally, I was just running away.
Know what I mean? Running away? I was working so hard to improve my life. To get out from behind that desk, working for the man and out into the world, working for myself. For my happiness. For my life. To run from the realities of our broke-assitude and my relentless health mysteries. I drowned myself in work and indulgence. “I didn’t have time” to take care of myself. “I didn’t have time” to acknowledge my stress. “I didn’t have time” to admit it was becoming a problem (even though I knew deep down all along). I drank 3-4, 44oz super big gulps of diet coke a day. I ate too much. I moved too little. I was the patron saint of excuses. The queen of allowance. The high priestess of rationalizing away my unhealthy behavior, ruling in a kingdom of denial.
So, yeah. In the year since our wedding, I gained most of the weight back. And I’m pissssssssssed. I am pissed at myself for repeating that pattern AGAIN. Pissed that my cute clothes don’t fit as well. That I, in a moment that should be the proudest time in my life, feel uncomfortable in my own skin. That I had “conquered a goal” and lost it. That I failed. I farking hate failing.
But I succeeded once. I can do it again. And its time. I have hit my personal rock-bottom with this unfit bullshit. To be a successful business owner I have to be strong. Be fit. Be present. To be a successful partner I have to be strong. Be fit. Be present. To fight my disease, to find joy, to manifest my destiny…. to be a successful Dana, I must be strong. Be fit. Be present. We even put it in our vows. And if, for some reason, I falter? I must fight within an inch of my life to get there. That’s just how it is for me.
So now, I know it. I’ve faltered. Which means the fight is on. But I need your help. So, welcome to Flab to Fab v2.0: Losing the Newlywed Nasty. I’m tackling one vice at a time this time. Kinda.
Finding the time to shop for, prepare and cook healthy meals is hard enough. Finding time to do that and exercise is impossible. So, our friends at Gobble Green, (a vegan gourmet meal delivery service) have generously offered to sponsor a month of full meal delivery service, including a special program of calorically customized meals to help keep my intake in check…. to get Hunter and me off on the right foot. Cats pajamas! I’ve always wondered if the convenience and health of meal delivery is worth the splurge. Now we’ll know!
Here’s how I see it: we can redirect the time and energy we’d normally put into planning, shopping for and cooking, into making exercise as much a part of our routine as any other daily duty. And, I’m hoping it will relieve me from that hammeringly insistent preoccupation with food that always comes with my first weeks on a diet.
They say it takes 21 days to establish a habit, right? So here’s to that. Making fitness… no, making wellness a habit. One day at a time.
Who’s with me?
Completely and totally with you. I just signed up for my first 5K and I am training my butt off to reach those 3 measly miles. Even after the race, I want to keep feeling like this … driven and accomplished and working to wellness.
I'm with ya!! I've been in the same rut, so we haven't gotten married yet because we're on a serious broke ass budget and we're working on our first business but I'm all in! One step at a time
Good luck good luck good luck! I'm needing inspiration to get back into the exercise routine too – I'm following along and hopefully we can co-inspire!
Good luck!
I don't have a weight or nutrition problem but I'm an overachiever overstressed workaholic. So I'm in the process of reclaiming my life, taking time for myself, to smell the roses. And I've been wanting to get in shape for the health benefits but also to help me relax. It's so damn hard!!!
So, can I be with ya in that sense?
Dana,
My fiancee is currently on a mission to lose weight and get into the best shape of his life by our wedding. He started his mission almost 2 months ago and has gone from 302 lbs down to 269lbs. He is still working on losing more weight to improve his health but has made great progess since the start of his diet. Him and I do weight watchers together so I can help support him throughout the process. He has been on other diets and has also done the yo-yo ing with wieight loss and gain. He keeps a blog at http://www.theheavymansdiary.blogspot.com to help keep him motivated and continuing on with the mission while manuvering around his busy schedule. Good luck with your weight loss and maintence mission and reach out to him if you need support.
I love your blog by the way!!
Sincerely,
Patty
I'm with you! All the weight I stuck it out to lose to shimmy into my wedding dress has reappeared, and then some. And I haaaaaaaaaaate it!!
Girl, quit the diet coke! And check this video out about why that crap causes weight gain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpoAtwVyzZI
Okay – you could not have written this at a better time. I too lost weight before my wedding and, 3 months later, it is slowly creeping back. I am feeling so low about it but I am also feeling strong and powerful to stop this weight gain in its tracks. I know what to do. I have the ability to do it – I just need to stick with it.
Hang in there – many of us can relate and are routing you on!!!
So glad to hear I'm not alone! I've been eating like craaaaaaaaaaazy. And not exercising. I'm scared to put on my wedding dress again to see how different I look. Yikes!
So…I'm with you too!
Dana et al, I'm coming out of 7 months of lurking to tell you that you must read this book: Women Food and God by Geneen Roth. You'd love it even if losing the weight for good was all you wanted, but the fact that you are actively seeking to be fully present in your life, with your husband, and for yourself, means that you MUST read it. I'd be happy to tell you more about how it is currently helping me "find my joy", but I really think you (and anyone else who is tired of being tortured by food) should just go get it – now.
Can't wait to hear how the delivery service goes. I am having the same struggle and in the next 21 days hope to, no–WILL get back on the fit track.
I am SO with you! However I have yet to get married and am desperately trying to get into a routine to tone it up before the big day. I am phenomenal for two days and then take weeks off. I lack self-motivation. I hope to be inspired and encouraged through your process!
Yes! I'm in! I recently got engaged, and am stuck in living in this content (which I'm not) little bubble as opposed keeping the feel-good, productive, climb the ladder, keep the spice alive, confidence attitude that I used to have. We have a long engagement, so I don't want to get stuck now.
Alicia – I'm so like you, for a few days I'm golden and then something (excuse) happens and I'm off my game completely.
I look forward to the challenge.
You know I'm behind you sista! I'm so proud of you! I am also so jealous of the month of free delivery service!!! Yowsa!!! I can't wait to hear all about it!! Lurve you!
I'm with ya. been engaged for 2 years and I've put on 30 lbs. We finally got the wedding date set and I barely fit into the dress
NO MORE DIET COKE!!!! It is far from being "diet." Drink honest tea or water with lemon. If you have a spare $20, pick up the book "eat this, not that supermarket version." This is a simple way to discover that the tortillas you are eating are adding an extra 10g of fat to your tacos and for the same price, you can find ones that add no fat and a ton of fiber. I also highly recommend pilates. Private lessons can be pricey but most studios have packages for group classes that can be as little as $5 a class. If you live anywhere around chicago, i'm happy to recommend a couple
good luck to you and remember that realizing all that you have is the hardest part!
I'm with you! I just blogged about this this morning!! I have been married 3 years and have 2 kids so I totally understand! For me it is one day at a time purposing to do things. I purpose to get up at 6:00 every morning before my kids wake up so I can have time to run, workout, and have some quiet time. I am on Day 2 (I know, just day 2) but I am motivated and feel in control. One day at a time. Let's do this!!
My suggestion, start the healthy lifestyle now. Bc it becomes next to impossible once you're a mom LOL
Maura-do tell about these $5 pilates classes in Chicago!
Yes! Let's do it together. I believe in you – a 5k is a really great goal!
Hang in there and keep plugging away – I'm so glad to have you ride this train with me!
Thanks Christy! Good luck to you too! This should be fun
ABSOLUTELY you can! I'm dying to take care of me. Let's take care of you too!
Thank you Patty! What a great resource, I'll check it out! And kudos to your fiance – that's a HUGE accomplishment that inspires me beyond words! Give him a high five from me
HAAAAAATE it right?!? It SUCKS. But we shall overcome, my dear. Its all up to us
ACK. Thanks. Hard to swallow, but oh so necessary.
Thanks Jocelyn! It's so nourishing to know I'm not alone and having you wonderful people root me on and work with me makes it feel so much easier already! Let's do this thing!
HA, maybe putting on your dress will be the wake up call you need! You can get back on track, you can!
Emily, thank you! My friend Mapo at Bikini by 30 shared some info about this book and it all sounds so smart and valuable. I'll definitely check it out! And yes, share more about finding your joy… we can all benefit from great stories like that.
I'll keep ya posted, thanks, Erin!
Gold stars and a calendar, my friend. Gold stars and a calendar.
Yay Sarah! Welcome! We can do this – and its so true… once a fire gets lit under one goal, the others seem to equally get a boost. Here's to forward momentum!
Lurve you too! I miss you so much!
You can so do this Erin. I lost 20lbs in 5.5 months – all doing healthy things, not crash diets or anything. Just stick with me, kid! And visualize that dress whenever temptation strikes!
Agh, the diet coke! I love that book idea and will definitely check it out… thanks! I do love Pilates, getting back in would be so fun. Please do share more info for our Chicago readers – there's plenty who would love to get their broke-ass fitness on!
Girl, making it to day 2 is a great accomplishment – one day at a time, right? Great way to prioritize yourself. Stick to it!
LOL. That's what I'm so scared of! How can I feel like a good role model to a future kid, if I can't even get my act together with this?!?
400 or so days til my wedding and I agree, visualize the dress. I need to drop 20 badly, and am practically vegan already,nothing seems to work.. but just joined curves and a kayaking group to boot:) wish me luck
Spring pilates (southport and newport) has a great intro rate of $5/class and they have this bargain too – bring a friend who is new and you both get a class for $5. They also have a $150 monthly unlimited package that i've recently taken advantage of – as long as you figure out your break even point you can get away with a ton of class on $150. (yes, i'm a nerd, but that finance degree comes in handy). Urbancore on 3864 North Lincoln Avenue has a $10 intro session. If neither one of those are convenient, I'd seriously google "pilates studios – chicago" because I see so many when i'm running that have great intro offers. most places, especially nowadays, are just as excited to get new customers as we are to see a great offer. i'm happy to help out more since i am thrilled to share what's worked for me (an avid lover of all things sugary)
also, on kgbdeals.com they had a deal today for $5 classes – Posture Perfect Pilates at 1247 S Wabash
as you can tell, i heart this blog so i'm excited to share information
Wow! Doing it while you have only yourself to think about is hard enough, but with two kids! Keep going!
It's so nice to read comments that are inspiring and friendly. I have been reading comment boards on a few different web sites and they make me so frustrated with how negative and mean people are! it's great to read all these comments.