Confessions Of a 10k Bride
Liz As A Young(-ish) Bride.
Oh, Lord, here we go.
I wasn’t going to say anything, I really wasn’t. But then I saw another blog post about a couple that had a $10,000 wedding. I had one myself, so I’m drawn to these stories like a moth to a flame. How did they do it? How did they get more bang for their buck with a budget wedding? Was it the same way I did? Well, no.
You, too, have seen this story before. They got married in her grandpa’s barn in Nebraska, with centerpieces made of flowers from his mother’s garden, and had a luncheon buffet for 250 catered by the local barbecue joint that her uncle owns. His grandmother made the cake. The bride wore her mother’s altered wedding dress (altered by her mother) and the groom pulled out the suit he wore for his high school graduation. And since they saved so much money on their wedding, they were able to hire the best wedding photographer in Lincoln, for the princely sum of $800. Nebraska, you know.
See what I mean? Not everyone has these options. In fact, most people don’t.
I had this conversation with another wedding pro a few months ago. A $10,000 wedding for 100 guests is a very popular goal these days. $100 per guest seems extravagant, even. If you don’t include renting the venue. Or feeding them what usually comes to a three-course meal. With a bar. Oh, and tax and tip (known in the Wedding World as the “service charge”). I want to be clear so I don’t get yelled at: A $10,000 wedding is totally possible, but there’s work and patience involved in order to make it happen. Everyone’s two favorite words, right?
So, how did I do it?
When you’ve got a limited amount of money to spend, the first thing you need to do is decide what’s really important to you. There were just a few things that I wanted at my wedding: Having our families and best friends on the face of the planet there. I wanted to wear a strapless fluffy princess dress. Bouquets of Black Magic roses. Black bridesmaid dresses. And Zane and I both wanted to eat steak. And that was pretty much it. I figured it would be at a hotel, because most of the weddings I’d attended had been in hotels , and I wasn’t really particular as to which one. The only other weddings I’d been to were in historic buildings in D.C. and as we all know, L.A. doesn’t have any of those (I was so young).
We had a lot of “Options You May Not Have”, the first being that this was almost seven years ago, when stuff was a little bit cheaper. The second is that I’d been an event planner since Clinton’s first term in office, so I knew what questions to ask to get the answers I needed. In the interest of full disclosure, there were only 50 guests at our wedding, which meant less money spent on invites, and way less money spent on dinner. We got married the weekend after Valentine’s Day, in the middle of winter, and our venue (ironically, an historic art-deco hotel ) was eager to give us a great deal in order to book it. I found a bakery at a bridal show that only charged $2.25 per slice. My father in-law owned a candy-distribution company, and we asked him if we could have a big batch to put in little Chinese take-out boxes and give away as favors. He was delighted, and one of my favorite memories is watching everyone open up their boxes and start trading candy with each other.
Options that you do have? I rented my wedding dress and my veil. I got my shoes on sale at Macys. I found the bridesmaid dresses at Windsor Fashions for $50 each (no, they didn’t wear them again). I walked down the street from our apartment to the closest flower shop and asked for very simple, one-flower type arrangements and bouquets. My wedding rings are a vintage set from the ’40s that Zane bought in D.C., and I went to the local jewelry district in L.A. to have a solid gold band hand-made for him for $300, which would be somewhere between $400-500 today.
But it took time to find all of these things, and I lucked out on a lot of them. Sunset Tower was on my way to work, and I must have passed it about 50 times before I looked up one day, wondered how much it would cost, and called. Same thing with the florist, and same thing with the dress rental place. So, note to you: If there’s a possible option, don’t assume it won’t work. Ask.
So, what “other options” do you have to meet your wedding budget goals? Where have you lucked out so far?
This Week’s Wedding Deals
Ann Taylor Brings the Pretty
Another clothing store is jumping into Wedding World, so say Thank You. Ann Taylor is bringing the pretty with a new line of gowns, starting at only $300.
DIY Wedding Stationery Engines, Activate!
Feterie, bringer of all stationery both modern and lovely (like this one below), is participating in the two week-long Paper Carnival. Each day of the carnival features a new and fabulous etsy.com stationary store, and you know etsy always has the deals. Go to the Paper Carnival’s Facebook page to get started. I’ve already “liked” it, how about you?
Project Wedding is holding a Budget Savvy contest and dishing up big-ass Amazon gift cards for the most creative broke-ass entries – up to $500! So what are you waiting for? PS: you’re welcome!
Lulu.com is offering an exclusive discount to Broke-Ass Bride readers, for 25% off a Photo Book purchase. Enter the code brokebride at checkout to receive the discount. The offer is valid until July 31st, and has a maximum savings of $100.
Happy Fourth of July and I’ll See You At the End of the Aisle,
It's completely doable. Ours – three weeks ago – was for $10,000. I had 18 months to plan, so I did a lot of searching and scouring. Luckily, I'm the Queen of All Things Google, and found some amazing deals, too.
My dress was $159. Our rings and the photography were some of the priciest things, but well worth it. Our catering worked out to $10 per head, and we had $125 guests. The bridemaids picked out the same David's Bridal dress, but it's totally a wear again to church or a nice party kind of dress.
Our venue turned out to be the least pricey thing. We went searching, and a chef friend turned me on to the fact that our local farmers market had a pretty good sized room you could rent, complete with a kitchen. The chairs and tables were included in the rental, which was – get this – $600 for the whole day.
I bought our table cloths for about the same price renting would've cost, and now I can put them up on eBay with a starting bid of half the cost, and see what happens. Even if I only get half my expense, that's more than I would've recouped if I had rented. The favors – I think – were my personal stroke of genius. Instead of sending everyone home with one each, considering a lot of our folks were families and couples, I did a favor bag for each family. It made a lot of sense, since our favors were packets of wildflower seeds and a mix CD of music from our wedding. I made special favor bags for the 10 kids attending, that had a wedding coloring book and crayons and a photo scavenger hunt list and disposable camera.
The things we had that not everyone will have that kept our expenses down? One of my bridesmaids asked to do the bouquets as a wedding gift. My mother in law is a master gardener, and offered to do the potted flowered plants for the tables (which also doubled as gifts for the people who came to help set up before the wedding). I bought plain white table cloths, and made table runners for bursts of color on each table.
It's totally doable to have a $10,000 wedding, but you have to be willing to do some looking around, and some research.
Thanks for the tips on the $10k Wedding & the deals, you ladies are lovely!
Thanks for the Lulu love, BAB!
Taylor Coil
)
(someone who works at Lulu.com
I am always curious as to how people do it. I'm in the pre-engagement stage of my relationship currently, but we talk a lot about wedding-y things. Ultimately, neither of our parents are going to chip in…and we're constantly thinking about where that money is coming from… It is good to know that it can be done!
Here's what we have done to keep our costs down:
(1) We moved the wedding to a non-local location to help limit the guest lists to close family and friends, but we kept it cost-sensitive by moving the location to a place that is within driving distance, so we're only talking about gas money and not air travel. (2) We don't have bridesmaids or groomsmen. (3) We're skipping the flowers. (4) Cupcakes. (5) We ordering take out instead of using a wedding caterer. (6) Our day of coordinator is bringing the rental items as part of her services. (7) We're having our wedding on a weekday, which gave us more flexibility with our vendor and venue costs and packages. This was crucial to keepingour ceremony venue, photographer, Day of Coordinator and musician costs down. (8) We're designing our own and getting them printed by Vista Print or Kinkos or somewhere of that sort.
Once I get my photos from my photographer, I'll be doing a blog on how to do a 3k wedding in Northern California in the middle of summer. If you're a bride who has to control everything, you can't do it on a TRUE budget. There's NO way. You have to give up control to get the discounts and deals.
I didn't budge on some things, like my dress, though.
Stephanie
Seattle Budget Wedding Photographer
I'm glad you like this, guys, thanks!
Like I said and @mysanfranciscobudgetwedding proves, you have to decide on what's REALLY important to you. Luckily for me, the stuff I didn't care about are normally the biggest budget items – my dress, where we got married, photography (although I regretted that one, later). As the saying goes, if you don't mind, it don't matter.
THANK GOD I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE!!!! I'm planning my wedding for May 2011 in LA and my budget is only $10,000!!! oh thank you thank you thank you! I can't wait to dig in to your site and find more great tips!
I’m having a 10000 wedding at the end of the month. It’s totally doable if you have the time (we were engaged in march 2009). The only things I’m getting for free is videography, which my family has done for everyone’s weddings; string quartet for ceremony music, courtesy of musiacally talented family; and alcohol, which my fiance’s dad is buying for us. But you can easily have a wedding without the videography & alcohol, and without the musicians I’d probably use a CD player.
For me the best cost saver was choosing location. We have family throughout the east coast, I’m from VA, my fiance is from NJ, and we live in MA. We chose southern VA for our location because it was midway between SC and MA (more or less), and it’s a lot cheaper! We found a great venue for wedding and reception at 1500 (includes tables/chairs), cake for 4/slice, and a photographer for 2000. Those were our expensive choices, because they are what we care about the most. You’ve got to prioritize! Southern va may be “cheap” but only when compared to, say, DC.
Savings: BBQ for dinner (15/person, 100 people), we are creating our own cocktail hour by buying food at the grocery store, we are getting flowers from a guy at the farmer’s market (local, seasonal, and won’t know types of flowers until that week), favors are wooden fans they can use to help with the heat during the wedding, and decorations will be minimal (green tablecloths, a jar with 3 flowers as a centerpiece). Also, I found a floor sample dress for $25, and had it altered for $200. Shoes were on clearance for $5 (real bridal shoes!). Fiance is wearing a suit he’s had for awhile. My wedding band is coming from etsy.com, my fiance’s is coming from overstock.com. combined they are about $300. We are doing our own hair and make-up, and I’m borrowing jewelry.
Prioritize and find the time to search for deals, and you can have a fabulous wedding for $10000 without feeling like you are sacrificing (and without gaetting everything at a discount through family).
One tip: Totally go check out the bakeries at your local grocery stores. We have one here that is really, really good. For – get this – $150 – I got 100 white cupcakes with whipped cream frosting and fresh berries dropped on top, and a chocolate 1/2 sheet grooms cake with his college mascot on top (that's $1.29 per cupcake, and $20 for the cake). If you can recruit a friend to pick it up before the wedding, it's works out well.
We also saved a ton of money by getting a caterer that would work with us when it came to saving money. Instead of paying for a bartender AND booze with them (with that 300% markup), we only paid for the bartender, and bought the beer and wine ourselves, for a huge, huge savings.
Great article! Our wedding had about 50 guests, & cost us about $1000
Historic locations, buffet, the works. It's TOTALLY possible to have a cheap but fabulous wedding!
thanks so much for the tips! this is my goal too
i have over two years to plan, so i'm hoping that'll help me out! i'm planning on doing a lot of things myself – like growing my own flowers or making pom-pom or tissue paper flowers, making my own invitations, decorating myself, etc…the one things i'm really really picky about is photography…i don't care how much i spend on that one, it's the only thing that's really going to last forever (other than the love…haha)!
i'm doing cupcakes too, i think!!
the takeout is kind of a cool idea, maybe i will look into that as well.
I was also a 10K bride!! you just gotta search for the deals and give up a few things. I still look back and LOVE my wedding, even though i couldn't have everything i wanted. It's easy to get caught up in the dream.
-jenny
Finally! A way of doing it that doesn't involve already having friends who own the venue/catering company!
"first thing you need to do is decide what’s really important to you." BINGO – Compromise on most things but never on your number one priority.
You are totally right: Prioritize — spend more money on the things most important to you!
We're 3 months out now, and so far have saved a lot by
* accepting help from super-talented friends (florist, calligrapher, seamstress, musicians)
* Getting our rings, handmade, from Etsy
* Buying a gown from a bridal salon's sample sale
The bulk of our budget went to the venue/caterer, the live band, and the photography. The rest we've been able to look for good deals on.
I wish I had a $10K budget. I have 16 months to plan and I’m not quite sure what the budget will be, but it’s likely to be around $5K.
One reason for waiting so long is so we can save up the money and not go into debt.
Basically, I’m going to be taking A LOT of advice from this and other sites.
We were married a little over a month ago and did it for $10k. Full church service, hall that was decorated for me (only $200) AWESOME bbq buffet for only $15 pp (which included 2 entrees and 4 sides, plus rolls and butter!) My custom-made dress for only $300 and even the most awesome photographers EVER! AND I live in Orange County California! It can be done! it's not easy, and I had A LOT of help from friends and relatives with center pieces, etc, but it CAN be done!
Ok, I'm a professional florist Cass….here's the trick. First, have a daytime wedding, you can provide cake, punch, mints and peanuts and save an enormous amount of money by not providing a full dinner to everyone. Have it outside at a pretty place which will save on the site rental as well as decorations. Go to the farmer's market the day before your wedding and pick out some pretty roses to match your color scheme, bunch them together, tie a ribbon on the stems…..this will save you thousands of dollars. Get about 30 disposable cameras and set them around on the tables for fun candid shots of the guests, again saving the cash…..but get a professional to take some important shots of the wedding party. Publix has beautiful wedding cakes for about $80.00 which you can put some fresh flowers or rose petals on as decoration. Keep your table decorations simple and personal….like some black and white pictures of you and your intended along with rose petals, candles, or candies in the middle of the table. Spend your money on "the perfect dress" and presents for all the people you love – instead of all the extras. One last tip, buy a bolt of tulle at the fabric store to decorate anything and everything…it's romantic looking, inexpensive and you can add greenery and flower stems to give it your personal touch. Hope this helps….love and luck to you.
Sorry to burst your stereotype Lincoln, Nebraska wedding bubble. But before you start quoting the "pricey" sum of $800 for the best photographer in Nebraska you might want to do your hick research. Pretty sure my photographer that I booked IN Lincoln, Nebraska for MY wedding isn't $800, it would rock if it was. It's up for opinion if she is the best but I know a lot of other respectable photogs that ask for a fee much higher than that in this podunk state. But thats ok, I'll hike up my wedding dress, show off the shit kickers, and enjoy my little hoe-down in the sticks!
Where was the venue? Right now this is the most cost prohibitive item on our list. I'm looking for suggestions on how to find a veune for $1000.00 or less.
Have you written your blog yet? I live in the NorCall (bay area) and have a tight budget of around $3500. The wedding venue is proving to be the most problimatic thing on our list so far.
$10,000 budget? We had a wedding and reception for 70 people last month for $1200. THAT took planning.
Hi Claudia, what church hall did you use? Photographer? Ay suggestions? I live in orange county too and it's been hard to go by the 10k budget.
Hi Cecilia, we were married at Old World in Huntington Beach. The restaraunt has several rooms available for different size parties, or the church has a hall you can rent also. I used Blake's BBQ (check 'em out online!) they were very curteous and food was great! Everyone loved it, and when we scheduled a tasting, they let us taste whatever they had in the place when we arravied. I used a baker friend and photographer fiend for cake and photos, so if you are interested in their phone numbers, I will gladly pass them along to you. Good luck!