Liz’s Rule #3: Eat Your Frickin’ Dinner.
“Pepper-crusted rack of lamb, where did you go??” – Marshall, How I Met Your Mother
I only have three rules for the couples I work with (only three) and other than that, they are never going to hear the words “can’t” or “must” come out of my mouth. Rule #1 you’ve heard from me a thousand times – Have the wedding you want. Have the wedding YOU want. Have the wedding you WANT. Please. Would you? Thanks.
We’ll get to rule #2 in a little while. But Rule #3?
So...CLOSE!
So, you’ve planned this great wedding. You’ve had your meal tasting, you’re really excited about the food you’ve picked out and paid so much for (per person, even). You may not have eaten for most of the day… too much running around, too nervous, maybe someone handed you a cookie before you put on your dress. Now it’s cocktail time and you are starving. Ravenous, I tell you. But you have to take pictures. You have to take pictures while everyone is enjoying the signature cocktails and mini-donuts that you got just for them. You have to take pictures while they’re sucking down the chicken kabobs. And if you’re really lucky, you can smell the food from where you’re frantically (yet happily) smiling, for the love of God, while you’re taking pictures.
Yes! Time for the reception. Your grand entrance into your first dance, all you ever dreamed, and then you make your way over to the sweetheart’s table, where your dinner is waiting for you, tantalizing and hot. But on the way, Aunt Sookie bride-blocks you for a congratulatory hug. Seeing the opening, your Mom’s cousin David drags you over to table 3 for a group picture. Seeing that opening, one of your bridesmaids asks you a question about check-out time at the hotel, and since that’s going on, the groomsmen pull your guy over to the bar for the first of many celebratory Jager shots. By the time you get back to your table, your food is either cold or the waiters have quite helpfully – Grrrr - cleared it away. If I’ve seen it happen once as wedding guest, I’ve seen it happen a dozen times.
Seriously? Not on my watch.
Rule #3 is as follows: You will eat. I will make sure you get some appetizers before or during picture taking. I will personally guide you to your table (in dark sunglasses and sporting a Secret Service scowl, if necessary) and sit you down. Addendum to Rule #3: Just like when you were a kid, you will not be allowed to get up until you have finished your dinner. Everyone can come to you while you’re sitting there, instead (and they will, don’t worry). When you’re done, then I will let you get up and work the room to everyone’s satisfaction.
If you don’t have a wedding planner, make Rule#3 yours, anyway. Ask your venue/caterer to have someone bring a plate over to you and yours during the cocktail hour. Ask one of your wedding party or one of your parents to escort you straight to your table (an “official” looking escort always detracts people. Dunno, it works). DO NOT LEAVE THE TABLE UNTIL YOU’VE FINISHED. Then the rest of the night is yours.
Oh, and Rule #2: No aisle runners. They’re beautiful, they’re elegant, and every single one of the three of my brides who has had one has tripped on it. No matter how secure it was fixed to the floor, they stumble to the horrified screams of the crowd. I’m pretty sure it’s sure it’s me, I’m cursed, but it doesn’t matter. BANNED FOR LIFE. Ironically, an aisle runner website is now following me on twitter. I just don’t have the heart to tell them…
So you tell me, after you institute Rule #3, what are you MOST looking forward to noshing down at your wedding?
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See you at the end of the aisle,
I've been so afraid I won't get to eat. So we decided on a dessert reception. I'll be having dinner with the bridesmaids beforehand! I still would like some dessert though…
Liz. I love you. Thanks for the awesome tips. Hope you have a great weekend.
Ha, I didn't eat at my first wedding, but I plan to at this one. Also, my church doesn't even allow aisle runners for the reasons you mention. No decision needed.
This is GREAT advice, Liz. …Especially for the people (me) who need to eat before they drink copious amounts of booze or else they'll topple over. I for one am super excited to slam down the tofu Kogi BBQ tacos we're serving at our wedding. CANNOT WAIT. And there's no friggin way anyone's gettin in the way of me and ma tacos.
I second that– I had that rule set up going into my wedding, but apparently people thought I only meant dinner because my husband and I didn't get any of the amazing apps we picked out!! When someone told me they were getting me a dinner plate, I asked if I could have a little plate of apps… turns out the caterer took them all away already- boo
I've thought about this, having been to a few weddings where the bride and groom simply haven't eaten anything besides cake, and we've been considering having a hamburger bar at our wedding – and I feel like that's a pretty good way of assuring that my fiancée and I will at least eat something. I mean, come on. A hamburger bar! Ain't no way I'm not making my own burger at my own wedding. And eating the crap out of it.
Great Rules!!!! Love your writing style!!
@Allthingszilla Four words: MAKE A BEELINE FOR IT. I’m serious. Determination will be the key.
Am I the only one who’s seen that ep of How I Met Your Mother? Just so true, just so hilarious.
I was at a friend's wedding 2 weeks ago where they had an emcee friend who, I swear, every time they sat down to eat, he would call them up for something else. They looked so defeated. I was *THIS* close to grabbing the mic and announcing, "And now, the bride and groom will sit at their table and EAT and drink this delicious homebrew since all of their guests have already done so." Should have done it.
My fiancé and I looked at each other at one point and decided we would be eating. PERIOD.
not eating before drinking at the reception could be disastrous… it would for me anyway! Great advice here.
I was sitting there with my food infront of me…I didnt move…I took a few tiny bites and thats all i could eat! The dress was so hard to sit down in and I guess it was just a crazy day that I just couldnt and didnt feel like eating. The only bite of cake I had, wish I had more when it was fresh, was during our cake cutting! And there were so many other desserts I wish I had eaten because we paid for them and they looked so good!
BRIDES TO BE FOLLOW Liz' rules PLEASE! Eat standing up if you have to!
No one was allowed to talk to us – photograph us – or come near our table while we were eating at our wedding. The reception coordinator made sure we weren’t disturbed and that my husband and I had full bellies before we stood up from our sweetheart table!
Love the advice here!
I absolutely have to eat on a regular basis or I do not feel well. Since we are having a full Catholic Mass followed by a 45 minute drive to our reception, I will probably stash some non-messy munchies in our travel car for us. We are also considering having a tray of our little appetizers set aside for us and the wedding party to eat. The plan is to have the caterer bring us the appetizers in the lobby, allowing the wedding party to eat and chill for a few minutes before our big entrance into the reception hall. Our guests will be munching on the same appetizers in the reception hall, so they won't be hungry/cranky either!