cheap wedding inspiration

Combat Their Attitude…With Gratitude.

Ellen’s parents are pushing her to have the wedding they want, since they’re paying for it. Eve’s bridesmaids are arguing with her about what the dresses they’re wearing, and which of them is going to throw her bridal shower, and when.  Sarah broke down on our weekly call – her family is complaining  that her wedding location is too far away from them, and she’s going five rounds with her Mom about the officiant she and Todd picked. Mom really wanted Sarah to get married in a church. Sarah doesn’t like churches.

You're not alone: Wonder Woman and Superman had probs with their families, too.

So, your family and friends whom you love and who love you, who all seemed so reasonable and sane once upon a time, are suddenly sprouting horns as your wedding gets closer. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: Weddings make people do the wacky. We could spend all day on why, because there are as many different reasons as there are people who won’t leave you alone about the seating arrangements. Truthfully? What I’ve realized, not to go all Pollyanna on you, is that they REALLY want this  to go well for you. Your family and friends really want you to have the perfect wedding, to be happy and enjoy a wonderful day. And the only way they think you’re going to do that…is if you do it the way they would. So, mostly, it comes from love. But, for those of you who are thinking about your cousin who keeps going on and on about how fat you look in your gown? Yeah, sometimes it is just jealousy.

Anyway, whatever the reason for the crazy, it doesn’t really matter, because it’s in your face, and you don’t know how to deal with it.  Start by memorizing these two words: Thank You.

[Insert Deafening Brake Screech Here]

Whoa, wait, what? Your maid of honor has just thrown her third tantrum this month, and you’re supposed to thank her for it? Seriously? Well, yeah:

“Missy, you know, I really want to thank you for all you’ve done for my wedding. I know it’s been stressful  but I totally appreciate all the work that you’re doing to make this a great day for  me. I just want you to know that. You let me know what you and the girls decide, and I will be there. Thank you so much!”

“Mom, Dad, thank you so much for giving us the money for our wedding. We really, really appreciate it. Patrick and I found this great bakery that we love, that makes amazing pies, so we want to  serve that instead of cake.  That’s not okay? Well, how about we get half the pies we would need, and we’ll order a cake big enough to serve the other half of our guests, and then that way they can choose. That works? Thank you for being flexible on this.” Note: Compromise works well with parents that are paying.

“Mom, thank you so much, I know that you’re just worried that I’m not going to have a wonderful wedding, and I really appreciate that. Todd and I made these decisions together, so I can’t [better way to say it than "not going to"] change them, and we’re really excited about what we’re doing.  And I know that the wedding is far for a lot of people, but we’re going to try and make it as fun as we can for them. We were thinking x, y, and z? Do you have any other suggestions? Wow, a and b would be great, too,  Thank you so much!”

Oh, No. Your Cousin Hates Your Dress AND Fondant!

Seeing their jaws drop will be very entertaining.

And the next time you talk to them, thank them again. Say it a lot. Use it at the start of any conversation, and at the end of it. It may seem unnecessary, it may be tiresome, but it’s also only two words. And if someone asks, “Why do you keep thanking me?” You say, “because I really appreciate what you’re doing for us, and I want you to know that. I know it hasn’t been easy.”

Because you DO appreciate what they’re doing, don’t you?  You ARE grateful that your parents are footing the bill, that Aunt Suzie is flying in from Guam, that Missy and the girls are trying to decide which male stripper to hire for your bachelorette party. Aren’t you happy that they’re doing what needs to be done, however inconvenient or troublesome they find it? You are. You’re just saying it out loud – it’s not manipulation, it’s the truth. One of the most basic human needs is to be appreciated. People dig it, and they will start acting a lot better when you start thanking them for what they’re doing for you. Just watch.

This Week’s Deals:

Summer’s coming up, and I don’t know about you, but I’m always losing my lip balm, or keeping it too long so it becomes a petri dish, and whoops, I think I shared too much information and…ANYWAY. The shop at theknot.com has these cute lip balm tube favors, perfect for a hot summer’s day. $150 for a pack of $100, so you’re out at $1.50 per person. But wait, there’s more – use the code COMPLETEKS to save 15%, which will cover your shipping and most of your tax. I just tried the code, and it works. You’re welcome!

This one is from my weekly Wedding Wise Wednesday post, so you might have already seen this yesterday – Here Comes The Guide has also hooked up with Hello Lucky Cards – get 10% off letterpress wedding invitations by using the code “HCG2010″. Hmm, I think I know where I’m getting my new business cards from. . .

And also? You guys, that Caroline Herrera that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that’s only $700? Is still at Magnolia Commons in Burbank. Seriously? GO.

See you at the end of the aisle,