Don’t Mess With The Dress. Even if it’s “Pre-Owned”.
I’ve seen it a million times. In every wedding, there’s one thing the bride can’t compromise on – what they’re getting married in. If it’s not the dress, it’s not the dress, and you just can’t fight it. As a matter of fact, don’t even try.
Oh, but for those of us on a budget, therein lies the rub, right? You’ve found the perfect dress and it’s $4,000. Huh. Well, you could…uh…or, maybe if you gave up Starbucks for the next (2)year(s), or…No.
Before you go traipsing into Monique L’huiller to get your heart broken (or maybe shortly afterward) think seriously about getting a pre-owned wedding gown (Don’t you love how the Wedding Industrial Complex has found a prettier term for the word “used”?). Yes, it’s been worn by someone else, but it’s still gorgeous, and even more gorgeous on you, and better than that, you’ve got more money in the bank.
Ah, but there are rules…
Only $700! This is why I live in Burbank.
Here in L.A., we’re pretty lucky. We have quite a few stores that sell pre-owned and sample couture dresses, like Encore Bridal and Glamour Closet. Or you can even rent your wedding gown at One Night Affair. Heck, I just saw this beautiful Caroline Herrera gown (shown) at little consignment store in Burbank, for only $700. Couture for less is everywhere out here.
For those of you that aren’t as geographically blessed (first the great weather, now this) – there are a lot of great websites out there. You know most of them – Recycled Bride, PreOwned Wedding Dresses, Bravo Bride, etc. But how do you know if it’s THE dress if you don’t try it on first? What if you buy it, and have it shipped to you, and it’s all wrong? Gah! First of all, you can head off some frustration by trying on dresses at a store first to figure out what style works best for your body type. If you go to like, David’s Bridal… hey, if you fall in love with a dress there, then you’re paying David’s Bridal prices. Win-Win.
But if you’re able to get out of there with your original goal intact, remember that many of the pre-owned sites also allow you to search by location. Look for dresses that are near you, and contact the seller to see if you can try it on before you buy. One of my current brides went that route. If that doesn’t work, find out if there’s a return policy, and commit it to memory. 48 hours to a week to notify a return? Check! 3 days to return it? Check! You’ll have to pay for shipping, of course, but that can be as little as $35, domestic, and count on a 10-15% re-stocking fee, depending on the site. Say you’re paying $900-$1500 for a dress that was originally $4,000. Even with shipping both ways and a re-stocking fee, that’s still a lot of savings. Or, you can just cut out the middleman and sell it online yourself, which is what another one of my brides did.
Vera Wang Tastes Better Pre-Owned.
You cannot mess with the dress, baby girl. And what else could you spend that 2k on? I’m thinking, on the bar, but that’s just me. There is nothing like saving tons of money on something that you really, really want. And you are going to look beautiful. Good luck, and most of all, have fun with it, okay?
This week’s deals:
You’re definitely going to need some shiny, shiny to go with your half-off Jim Hjelm (Snap!). Adorn Brides is having a spring special on their Diamond jewelry rentals – beautiful pieces for $150 or less. Diamonds. GO.
p.s. And for those of you who might have heard, yes, Vera Wang is designing a line for David’s Bridal…but it won’t be out until spring 2011. I know, right?
See you at the end of the aisle,
(wondering who Liz is? Get caught up here, and here!)
Don't forget that going pre-owned is environmentally friendly!
I found this post kind of uncomfortable… this is a website for "broke-ass" brides…. and maybe for some people, getting a $1500 dress that was originally $4000 and using that extra money on a bar is a frugality tip, but it seems inconsistent with the regular content on this site…. It seems like the writer is encouraging you to spend a lot in HER way (lines like "you are going to look beautiful!" and "you're definitely going to need something shiny" really seem out of character with the site's message). It also seems to be encouraging a stereotype that every woman wants a designer dress that is way out of her budget range, which is just not true. This whole "don't mess with the dress" sounds like it's encouraging women to be bridezillas, just at a slightly different store. I hope this doesn't become a regular thing…
Rowenna, thanks for your comment.
There is no set budget range that makes a couple "broke-ass" or not… its all a matter of personal circumstance and perspective. Moreso than trying to quantify broke-assness, we focus our message on smart spending, and getting the best value for your buck (its not about how much you spend, its how you spend it).
Liz is simply offering a solution to the brides out there who get frustrated by falling in love with designer dresses that are way outside their price ranges, by highlighting opportunities to score high-end dresses at deep discounts. Its friendlier to the wallet, and the earth. I'm not sure how a sentiment like "you're going to look beautiful" is forcing any stereotype onto people. I truly think Liz's message was to suggest an potential solution to a problem, encouraging brides not to give up on their dream dress or settle for a dress they don't love. Each post here might not apply universally to all readers, but we do our best to be as inclusive as possible.
And, as a matter of fact, many of the preowned sites list dresses for major bargain prices… I've seen them as low as $300 on a few! Check them out, you may be pleasantly surprised!
Yes! I totally agree! Did you see my post yesterday about eco-friendly earth day goodies? I bet you'd like it
I can totally relate to ordering a dress online and it not be exactly what you wanted when it arrived. I'm now redoing my entire dress. I wish I would have tried some on beforehand, but I wanted to jump at a deal. So now I have a dress that I'm trying to turn into my dream dress, instead of ordering my dream dress to begin with.
But I have faith!
G on girl! You can do it – way to persevere! I can't wait to hear how it turns out!
Aw, thanks! You're too sweet!
I spent a day trying on dresses at a few shops and then went online to look for my favorites on pre-owned sites. BUT in the end I found my dress off-the-rack in my size, last one in the shop, not planning to reorder, for over 70% off the original price!
What WHAT?!? That's amazesauce! Great work, sleuthy bride!
First if all, thanks for reading my post! My point, or one of many points is that HOWEVER much money you have, you don’t need to settle for anything less than a dress that you love. 4k discounted to 1200 or less was just an example if that, and Many of the preowned sites will let you search by price range. If you fall in love with something expensive, you can find it cheaper. If you fall in love with something inexpensive, then SCORE. And that Caroline Herrera is still just hanging there. Come visit us in the valley, we won’t bite.
I was just with one of my brides this morning, and once again she was rocking a jcrew sweater that’s she saw a few weeks ago, shrugged and thought, Ill just come back in a couple of weeks, and when she did it was 40% off. Which is exactly what I did with the GAP skirt I’m wearing right now. This is how me and mine roll. Saving money on the things that you want takes patience, and it also takes committing to saving the money. Plus, it helps if you turn into a game.
Posts like this are why i love the Broke-Ass Bride blog. So helpful! Now excuse me while I scour the sites mentioned.
Wow, we simply do not have the market for pre-owned dresses her in the mid-west…small city…in anycase I love this post. I seriously love your blog so I keep coming back…we did the vegas thing for our wedding but I love watching the process live on your blog! Love, MG
This is a great post! I just bought my dress on ebay "pre-owned" because I wanted to save money and be kind to the environment (as someone mentioned above). It was just $92 with shipping! You CAN get a dress at any budget, it just takes some patience.
I also second Liz' mention of Recycled Bride – they have great stuff. There are also other lower-priced gowns on Once Wed's website.
I hope others will continue the trend of buying used dresses!
I was planning to go the pre-owned route (Btw, did the wedding industry coin that term, or was that Lexus, haha). But in the meantime a boutique near mom's (in tax free NH, no less) was remodeling and had dresses 60% off. Cha-ching! Hitting the bridal show circuit has really worked for me. I've been able to get wind of all kids of little weasel deals
Do you have suggestions for pre-owned wedding dress shops in San Francisco? Am heading there in a couple weeks and hoping to hit up on a couple shops. Dresses in Sweden are ridiculously expensive and the cheapest ones, around $600, actually do look cheap.
Hoping for my hometown to show off some gems in SF!
Bridal Shows are GREAT for picking up discounts, and registering online for them usually saves you a little something off the admission fee,too! Did the show you went to have coupons off tux rentals? That's always a good place for that, too. Did you find THE dress at the shop near your Mom's?
[...] wedding ( + Holga!) ♥ Floral cutlery ♥ Two wedding gowns are sweeter than one ♥ City Chic ♥ Don’t Mess With The Dress. Even if it’s “Pre-Owned” ♥ Tammy & Will ♥ Oh Emily! The very lovely UK photographer Emily Quinton proposed to her [...]
Can I add a plug for my preowned dress website, too? I'm a former MOB, turned dress pimp, and Broke Ass Bride fan!