I’ll have the filet of foot, please.
What’s got two thumbs is rocking a raging mix of emotions that ain’t pretty? THIS GIRL. 
Yesterday, what was supposed to be a simple removal of a cyst in my right foot, turned into a surgery in which my doctor had to (and I quote) “filet” my foot open from top to bottom, to remove what turned out to be an amorphous and mysterious growth which is now in a lab for identification. Then I spent the rest of the day alternating between vomiting and unconsciousness, thanks to the anesthesia in my system and painkillers on an empty stomach.
Some of you might remember that the month before my wedding, I was diagnosed with an inflamed nerve in my foot. Well, that doctor was WAY OFF when he misdiagnosed me. Oh, and the cortisone shot that he gave me which caused me all those nasty side effects? Yeah, that didn’t need to happen. at all.
I ignored the pain and swelling after that, but it finally got to be too annoying. It was markedly worse, such that walking in anything other than sneakers was more pain that the cuteness was worth, and even then sometimes I limped slightly. So I went to a new, highly recommended orthopedic surgeon who took one look and said “Whatever it is, its got to come out of there.” It was supposed to take just a small incision into the top of my foot, where the mass seemed to be centered. Easy in, easy out, easy healing. Yeah, easy my ass.
Instead I lie here, foot throbbing, elevated and mummified, no weight bearing allowed, half hopping mad, and half unbearably sad, for at least a full week, until the stitches come out. A frankenfoot. 
The doctor is mystified by what it could have been (just what every patient wants to hear). His initial instinct says it looks like a rheumatoid cyst. But, I was tested for Rheumatoid Arthritis 11 years ago when I first developed my eye disease (since what I have is usually a symptom of RA or other auto-immune illness), but I was cleared. I certainly hope that wasn’t a misdiagnosis too.
I’m trying really hard to focus on the positives here. Getting that thing out, whatever it was, has to be a good thing. I finally found a doctor I like and can trust, and I have good insurance right now. After it heals, I’ll be able to walk without pain and wear cute shoes once again, which seems magical after nearly 2 years of all this. And, I suppose, if there is something else wrong with me, its better to know than not know. But I’m praying with all my might that its just a random legion of alien babies that took up residence in my foot but were thwarted by the might of my doctors scalpel before they could escape and take over the world. Or something like that. But its hard to be positive when couch-ridden and in pain after surgery for the second time in 3 months… the 10th time in 7 years.
No, its a lot easier to be….. oh, anything but positive. I hate this. I hate feeling helpless. I hate that simple things like going to the bathroom are now clumsy, exhausting marathons. I hate the look I get from friends and family when they hear that something else is wrong with me. I hate acting brave when I’m scared. I hate being scared. I hate not knowing.
Lucky for me, I have the most loving, patient and gracious husband in the world. Seriously. I married a saint with a fro for a halo. He’s been taking amazing care of me, even though he’s sick with a nasty cold and deserves to be taken care of, too. And somehow, he’s able to make me feel beautiful even when I’m a greasy, drugged mess of a girl asking for help from across the room. He married me knowing my track record with health problems, and he owns the care of them with such heart…. I am at a loss for words. I literally don’t know what I’d do without him.
So, let’s give it up for the Fresh Hubby today. He deserves it. And think positive thoughts about whatever is going on with my foot. We could use all the good mojo you’ve got, thanks.
I want to tell you all about New York and the all the good stuff that goes with it, but I just can’t right now. I hope you understand.
Meantime, starting tomorrow, I’m renting one of these to ride around on until I can use my foot again. Jealous?
My pimp-ass ride
Yeah, I thought so.
So sorry you hurst your foot.
i am jealous of that ride. seriously. and hug my pillow! that's what it's there for.
wishing you a speedy recovery, dana! and hunter too!
oh sadness! I hope you start feeling better and can jump into some cute heels soon
You are gonna rock that Tricycle! All the good mojo from me and mine
YAY Hunter for helping Dana out!
I'm so sorry to hear about your foot. I'm sending some good jujus your way & hope that the good Lord blesses you with oodles of good health! I'm praying for your speedy recovery ♥
wahhhh. lame. and woah – what was in your foot i wonder?
{huge hugs} You, your foot, and the Fresh Hubby all get gold stars, positive thoughts, good mojo, and fancy juju.
Aw, Dana baby!! I had no idea it was quite that bad!! Oh, I feeeeeeel you and all that frustration and pain!! Damn. It's okay to feel bad for yourself for a few days. I officially give you permission. And I'm authorized to do that, y'know
Before you know it, like always, the whole thing will shift and your mojo will start pumping and you'll do that thing where you forget a little bit that it ever felt this sh**tty. I know you do that thing. It's what makes you awesome and capable and why you're headed for great, great things.
I am sending HUGS AND LOVE to you and to your afro angel! Love you both xoxoxo
Sending tons of good vibes your way for a speedy recovery. I can't even imagine the frustration you are feeling, but hang in there and try to keep your chin up. PS – looks like your new ride might be missing some sparkly pink streamers and then you'll be ready to go!
Oh, Dana! I'm sorry about your foot. I hate it when docs misdiagnosed patients! GRrr! I'm sending my happy positive thoughts your way and bless Hunter for being such a sweet hubby. Muah!
Ouchie! I can only imagine how aggravating this must be for you, especially the not knowing part. I hope you get to feeling better soon and in the meantime, milk it for what it's worth. Get one of those bells so Fresh Hubby can come to your side whenever you need him.
While I read often, I hardly ever reply, but I have to say: I feel your foot pain (knee and ankle surgery and 3 weeks in traction)! I'm almost certain there is nothing worse than immobility.
I hoe you heal fast and that the tests come back negative.
Best,
Louise
Lordy Dana. NO FUN, SISTER! I am so thankful that you have health insurance and that you have an MD that you like. That's half the battle. The other part is your determination and all-around-wonderfulness and your Amazing-Fro-Haloed-Fresh-Hubby (Woot! Hunter!). Hang in there, ok? You have the whole Broke-Ass gang rooting for you. Keep that puppy above your heart, change those dressings religiously, take your antibiotics and drink your water like a good IGgy, and try not to scratch at the itchy stitches/staples, ok? And if there's anything that Mark and I could do for you guys, let us know…
Big Love and Hugs, Kat…
Hope your foot heals soon and they figure out that it's nothing, just annoying. My aunt had one of those scooters when she had ankle surgery. I tried it and nearly injured myself, haha. I'm sure you'll have much better luck at it than me!
Dana–I am so sorry! That's awful news, esp since it has been going on for so long! Sending you all kind of well wishes your way in the hopes that the tests come back with a + sign for alien babies! Feel better soon!
(ps-bummer we didn't connect in NYC!)
Awww, so sorry about your foot. I hope you feel better real soon. You look utterly pitiful.
Hey – on the bright side, at least it's not 100 degrees in LA!
so jealous!! you will look sweet. I hate doctors. Why do they pretend to know everything when they don't know?
UGH! That's the worst! The good news is you've got a husband! Milk it
Grab some more tape… tape it all up… get some Sharpies and have you a good time! Your foot will be a piece of art in no time!
Ugh that is so horrible about your foot! I'm glad that you found a doctor that was able to treat you and get you on the road to recovery. It's so wonderful that you and FreshHubby have each other! It will get easier and I hope that everything turns out to be fine. I am WICKED jealous of your ride….
Oh my… well I hope you heal up and that the lab results come back clean. Take care and rest up.. and be careful on that wheely thing.. it looks dangerous!
Oh Dana I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Wishing you a speedy recovery and get lots of rest! (And cheers to your husband for making the experience that much easier!)
Uhg! I'm so sorry Dana! Auto immune diseases are so f'ing secretive and tricky.
I'll be pulling for you, and hoping it's just some alien babies that needed to get out. 
Good luck!
Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you. xoxo Get well soon.
hope you heal soon!!!
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by BrokeAssBride: Where I’ve been: http://www.thebrokeassbride.com/2010/01/ill-have-the-filet-of-foot-please/...
Oh Dana, I'm so sorry to hear this. There's not much to say, but I hope you know we're all cheering for you to get better soon, and hoping it truly was a legion of alien babies that were thoroughly incised. Or something equally final and over with. Get better soon!
Thinking of you, and sending good vibes your way! I hope for a speedy recovery, but that knee scooter sure is jazzy
Oh noes! So sorry!
Poor kiddo…..and you, too, Dana! Just kidding. I stand in awe of your relationship. The two of you are so righteous and make an excellent couple. Hang tough, Dana. Just a minor 'sidestep' in the grand show of life! (Easy to say from the sidelines, I recognize, but it is true – take it from your fav older bride!
Ugh. So sorry to hear that you're laid up. I love that your humor and attitude are still going strong! You're a tough cookie – surf those waves of highs and low (metaphorically, of course, until you're back on your feet. Awesome that the Fresh Hubby is there by your side. We're all rooting for you!!!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by BrokeAssBride / Dana, Michelle Mospens, ever ours., Tracy DiNunzio, blogs of the world and others. blogs of the world said: Yesterday, what was supposed to be a simple removal of a cyst in my right foot, turned into a surgery in w… http://reduce.li/tm1szf #foot [...]
A symbol of a happy couple; even though the woman of her life was in the moment of trials still the love to her wife was there, i truly admire the loyalty and love which the hubby gave to her wife. God Bless to both of you.
So so sorry to hear Dana! But you are an amazing and courageous girl and I know you will be in those cute shoes in no time! Wishing you a speedy recovery!
So sorry to hear this, sweetie! Hope you are mending & feeling better soon!!
Aw…hope your foot feels better soon!
That's very bad Dana. hope you will recover soon and all of us will be pleasant when see you in previous form
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