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Guest Post: The Flashdance, on What Not to Do

Michael from The Flashdance is one of my wedding heroes.  He is all about the fun & making people move.  The total master of making a wedding memorable, dope, and flat out dance-crazy.  I may be biased, (because he caused a raucus of booty shaking fun at my own wedding), but this dude knows about beats and parties like no other I’ve seen.  So listen up – without further ado, I present you….

what you DON’T want to do by THE FLASHDANCE DJ.

are you getting married? have you ever done that before? well most people haven’t! don’t sweat it, i have been to hundreds of weddings, and i am here to help. dana handed me the reigns today and i thought this would be a great opportunity for me to give you some of my insights into what, why, & how, you should do things that involve (or effect) music.

#1 ceremony

don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t walk down the aisle to whatever suits you fancy! if you want to walk to leonard cohen do it! you will never regret the parts of the wedding that you & your honey incorporate from your actual life (not someone else’s life!). you most certainly will regret walking down the aisle to some stuffy chamber music because mom made you or whatever! be authentic and true to yourself with every song you choose.

make your recessional (after you kiss) song upbeat and fun! stevie wonder or michael jackson are good safe bets, but maybe johnny cash or the smiths is more your style!

#2 cocktail hour

make sure the music (whether band, dj, or lounge performer) during cocktail hour is interesting and good but not too loud, or too energetic… you want this to be like a great BBQ, if you want to listen you’ll enjoy what you hear, but if you want to talk and snack you won’t be distracted.

#3 dinner

most couples try to disappear during cocktail hour to have portraits** done or suck face somewhere so there should be someone in charge of getting the alcoholics away from the bar and into a seat so that you guys can reappear (be announced if your heart desires) and do your first dance. why do our first dance now you ask? good question!

top 3 reasons to do your first dance before dinner
# 3. everyone is still looking cute, hair is in place, outfits are not a sweaty disheveled mess, aunt louise isn’t falling down drunk, and because of that you will actually get some great photos of your first dance!

# 2. if you (or your new wife/husband) are nervous about slow dancing in front of everyone you know it is nice to get this out of the way and enjoy your dinner rather than let it weigh heavy on you while you pound martinis and push your food around on your plate!

and the #1 reason to have your first dance before dinner……………………………………………… (that’s a drum roll) if you have ever been to a prom / school function dance where everyone hugs the wall nervously waiting for the first person to shake it you know that is not a good look. if you have your first dance before dinner and for extra credit if you invite your guests to join you halfway through, or immediately following, your dance and have a mini dance party*** you will clear that awkward energy on the dancefloor and get everyone really hyped on the dance party to slay all dance parties***

(not really music related, but important!) get all speeches out of the way before dinner is over! nobody wants to be waiting around to party while uncle jim talks about the time you crashed your dad’s car when you were 16…

#4 father / daughter and/or mother / son dance

this should be limited to one song (less than 3 minutes) if possible… father & daughter start the dance, mother & son butt-in halfway through. immediately following, everyone of your friends (bridal party if you have one) should look like track runners on their starting blocks waiting for the gun to fire. The “gun” should be a seriously amazing song! something that means something to you, or something that is just a great party starter! Dana & Hunter used Modern English – I Melt With You for their recessional song and this is a great example of a party starter. all of your ‘go to’ dancers should know that as soon as the father daughter song is over it is time to bum rush the dancefloor. nothing gets a party hype like 20 (or more if you’re lucky) people dancing like lunatics to a super fun song!

if you have a cake to cut DO NOT stop the music and say “hey everyone look at me cut the cake!” instead, grab your sweetheart, your photographer, and maybe your folks and go do it in a corner! nobody else really cares and it will put a halt to all dancing which will take even the most experienced*** maestro 20 – 30 minutes to recover from.

just don’t throw a bouquet or garter.

then comes the hard part… your dj has to be dope. you have done all you can to throw him / her a slow pitch softball, if he / she can’t hit that ball out of the park, well, let’s just say you didn’t hire THE FLASHDANCE DJ!

** we always suggest you get portraits taken before the ceremony if you have more time to shoot and less distractions your portraits will be so much better (who really cares (besides grandma) if you see your honey an hour before the ceremony?)

*** it requires some magic to make a danceparty unruly but if you follow these guidelines your chances for success increase significantly!

All photos courtesy of the enormously talented Our Labor of Love and The Flashdance.